Retiring with a landlubber

[alansmith]

I think the advice from the women on your post is pretty accurate. No matter how you slice that apple, sir, it gonna cost you some jing that you may or may not be willing to part with.

Don't know your finances...but you do. You have a rough road if you don't do this properly...at best. If you get stingy here and don't steer a proper course with her she could be lost overboard before you know it. Taking her onto a comfortable livable boat would be a smart move. If she is prone to seasickness that little teacup of yours would kill her ambitions in about 2 hours in a swell. Cats, trimarans, good mono boats without excessive movement with nice hot shower, decent kitchen, clean and comfortable bed in the Exumas or Bahamas with that pale blue water...she might get bit with the bug.

The other choice, as mentioned already, is marriage is a compromise and you might be doing your thing alone. Nothing wrong with that 3-4 months a year. She would just fly into Bahamas and spend a couple of weeks or a month harbor hopping and that would be acceptable to many a wife who was not gaff hooked through the gills for the liveaboard routine.

You know her better than anyone on this planet. Sit down and have a long conversation, open...honest...bare the soul...type of talk about what you need and what she needs...and see where you can find an interface with each other. Look, you both worked your whole lives to get to this point of retirement. Neither one of you should be miserable and feeling cheated or blocked from something you wanted for many a year. That would just be ridiculous to put that on someone else. It is the way I would absolutely approach it with her. You might have to do a quid pro quo with her and nothing wrong with that. Where it gets goofed up and sand is thrown in the cogs is when someone digs their heels in and refuses to allow any movement of ideas, or fairness, or just the trust you two have put into the bank over many years suddenly go tits up. I think if you approach it like this ...at least with the way I am wired...it is sane, fair, and healthy approach to this issue. Wadya think?

[irwin27destiny]

41 ft cat in the sea of abaco for a week. Try Cruse Abaco

[JPA Cate]

Funny thing, thbodine (the OP) hasn't come back to his thread.

Ann

[tbodine88]

Originally Posted by tbodine88

I think she is unhappy with the "separate" part of the plan.

Apparently not, when discussing another ambition, a bus trip to tierra del fuego, she said I could go by myself, she just wants us to keep in touch so she knows I'm ok.

[tbodine88]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

Funny thing, thbodine (the OP) hasn't come back to his thread.

Ann

Funny thing about Thbodine is he has a job still, and his funny boss likes him to work sometimes

Furthermore it wasn't until now I got a notification from CF.

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by irwin27destiny

41 ft cat in the sea of abaco for a week. Try Cruse Abaco

I'd say this may be the best way to get her thinking a sailboat isn't so bad.
A week on the Mississippi in a WWP, will I believe seal the deal, you'd never get her on another sailboat, maybe

[tbodine88]

I'm in trouble now. I showed her this list, she like the idea of the great loop in sheltered waters, traveling with a group. She looked at some trawlers, she likes the Hatteras 45.
Oh boy. Trying to talk her into a cat. Thinking I could remove the mast for the loop, put it back on when I hopefully get to strike out for the Caribbean.

Then I need to figure out how to fund it withnout selling the house or getting a huge loan

[wedivebc]

Originally Posted by tbodine88

Apparently not, when discussing another ambition, a bus trip to tierra del fuego, she said I could go by myself, she just wants us to keep in touch so she knows I'm ok.

Thanks for posting this thread. I may be facing a similar situation.
One thing I know is in our 32 years together she has always supported my interests whether she participated or not and would have no issues if I was to take a cruising vacation without her. Of course I would rather have her there but we can always stand some time doing our own thing as well.
So how about it tbodine88 maybe we should go for a cruise?