Men at Sea

[Mariness]

So, maybe I'm just having a low day and am imagining things. But maybe not. I have noticed on a lot of the discussions around here, a disturbing trend among SOME (NOT ALL - please don't misunderstand!) of the male posters. Evidently, there are a lot of men out there who have a deep resentment or bitterness, bordering on hatred almost, of women. Frequent references to how expensive we are (in comparison to how affordable life is for a guy alone) and how much trouble we cause aboard. From many posts there seems to be the general tenor "Men are sailors who know what is important in this life; women are expensive troublesome pests that we have to put up with if we want to get laid ever again." And the kids invariable get lumped in with us as though the men had nothing to do with creating them and couldn't possibly have wanted them - as though there is some great female plan to permanently aground all the men by tricking them into getting us pregnant!
This is FAR from all the guys out there, I know, but it shows up enough to worry me -- is this really how a noticeable chunk of the cruising community views women? And if so, do they act like that in real life too?
Or is it just internet bluster/joke gone wrong?
This is probably like throwing water on a grease fire here ... but still hoping someone will say something that makes me feel reassured about the people out there.

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Mariness

but still hoping someone will say something that makes me feel reassured about the people out there.

Nice rant

Now get back to the ironing

[BubbleHeadMd]

Originally Posted by Mariness

So, maybe I'm just having a low day and am imagining things.

'Fraid so.

Look around, you'll find plenty of single female cruisers/liveaboards who say that they have no use for men. It's a two-way street.

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by Mariness

... I have noticed on a lot of the discussions around here, a disturbing trend among SOME (NOT ALL - please don't misunderstand!) of the male posters. Evidently, there are a lot of men out there who have a deep resentment or bitterness, bordering on hatred almost, of women...

Could you direct us to an example?

[DennisM]

Personally, I love women. It's just the ones who complain about men that I have a problem with....

[pjop]

Is it not true that whenever there are a concentrated number of any one gender there are expressions of frustrations with the gender specific behaviors of the opposite sex? Do not women in groups complain about the wondering eyes and lack of concerns over domestic duties among the male gender? To label this type of discord as specific among male sailors is premature. It is only natural for men to complain about women and vice versa. At times we cannot seem to fathom the female logic and express our frustration. Certainly, I would think that the majority of male members on this site think that women can be just as capable of a crew mate as any man. I for one, just happen to believe that the choices are few and far between due to behaviours established by both nature and nurture. That hardly makes me sexist.

[jackiepitts]

I think that pjop pegged it.
I think there are are complaints aimed at women on many sailing forums but I also find this type of attitude towards women non existent out in the real world of cruising.

[MarkJ]

Originally Posted by Mariness

women are expensive troublesome pests that we have to put up with if we want to get laid ever again." .

It's not just us. What about the Titanic? All the guys said: "Women and Children first." At least we had a few peaceful moments on deck with the band playing....


Blame them for starting it.

[mintyspilot]

Mariness, I think you must be having a bad day. Comments like the ones you pointed out are just as common on land. No one denies that misogynists exist, but I have heard some women say "All men are b*****rds" and mean it.

I have heard women bashing women, particularly in the workplace. I have even heard some women say they prefer to work with men rather then other women. Blokes sometimes don't get on with each other either.

In short, people don't always get on well with each other whether they are on the sea or not. My advice is ignore what you don't like and also those who exhibit such boorish manners.

[Mariness]

Actually I do feel better after that
I haven't had much of the same land experience that mintyspilot mentions but I am aware that it exists sometimes.
It mostly seems to pop up in the threads with "I'm a young guy - should I go now or work a few years and do it then?" type questions, as well as the "How much is this going to cost me" type. That's when I start seeing the "Go now, or you'll get someone pregnant and then you're stuck for good" or "It can be done for $xxx per month unless you have to pay for restaurants and an electric hairdryer for your woman."
Which give the impression that the things your woman wants are not as valuable as the things the guy wants, as well as that you have never heard of something called a condom.

I shall mark this one down to a bad day, and try not to bother about it next time I (think I) see it.

Oh, and I almost never iron - that's why God invented permanent-press! Except for a few dress things, our rule around here is: if I can't swim in it, I don't need it.

[cdennyb]

damn, I like the way this gal thinks. LoL
this is what I call "low maintenance."
She could give someone close to me a lesson.

[BubbleHeadMd]

Mari,

You do understand that you aren't typical? Many of these comments you're reading may very well not apply to you, which is another reason why they simply don't make sense from your perspective.

[Mariness]

Originally Posted by BubbleHeadMd

Mari,

You do understand that you aren't typical? Many of these comments you're reading may very well not apply to you, which is another reason why they simply don't make sense from your perspective.

Good point...
Maybe instead I should be wondering what's wrong with the members of my own gender who can spend $50 on a manicure and $100 on a haircut, instead of banking for a boat trip to Fiji! Suspect they don't know what they're missing - More sand for me

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Mariness

Good point...
Maybe instead I should be wondering what's wrong with the members of my own gender who can spend $50 on a manicure and $100 on a haircut, instead of banking for a boat trip to Fiji! Suspect they don't know what they're missing - More sand for me

If I understand your post here correctly, you are not disagreeing with the stereotype that too many women spend too much money and are too girly, you just don't like it being said by men or to be said in a way that you perceive includes you?

[rebel heart]

I love my wife, and love having her aboard. In many ways I don't think I would have been able to keep going with this adventure, or would have wanted to, if I was just by myself. The Pardey's devote a couple of chapters to the realities of couples aboard in their book: Amazon.com: Self-Sufficient Sailor (9780964603677): Larry Pardey, Lin Pardey: Books

I see and hear every day how some men treat women on the waterfront; it's foul and low class. The lady at San Diego Sail Supply at least once a week has someone asking to speak with a man; she's incredibly qualified and far smarter than whoever is on the phone.