HappyMdR's SAILING relationship poll !!!

[HappyMdRSailor]

I should have known better and NOT posted this if I didn't have time to read it and answer while I was out of town...

Originally Posted by Pelagic

My conversation with both of you would be like this.... YOUR IMAGINED ANSWER IN FULL CAPS

1 Are you serious about selling the boat?.... YES
YES

2 Once a 10% deposit is offered at acceptable price to buy boat subject to surveys, will you take it?..... YES
YES

3 Once surveys are complete and new buyer confirms purchase.....if you were the new owner, would you let the boat go out on a cruise without you?....... YOUR ANSWER HERE?
Meaning ask the new owner if we can take the boat out after a sale???

Point I am making, is to do your sailing now before any offers start and to focus on satisfying any prospective buyer

Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey

Man that Pelagic always waves that realism wand around and spoils it wit the truth don't he?

What the hell are you talking about???? I need a translation for Pelagic's post!

Originally Posted by DumnMad

You're a lucky man - don't dare ignore her feelings !!!

***note to self*** Forgot to tell DumnMad that I expected an extremely biased opinion... therefore commenting on the post and especially VOTING would be strongly discouraged...

[SaltyMonkey]

Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor

I should have known better and NOT posted this if I didn't have time to read it and answer while I was out of town...

And stay out of town you must, thou insensitive mysoginist beast!

[Simonsays]

Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor

I should have known better and NOT posted this if I didn't have time to read it and answer while I was out of town...

did you at least sell the boat? :P

[HappyMdRSailor]

Originally Posted by Mike OReilly

On the surface the whole question is absolutely crazy, and she is acting irrationally. Of course you should go sailing. Of course it can mean nothing, that it cannot diminish your link together with this boat.

But then ... As someone who has been with the same woman for going on 28 years I've learned that there are times when understanding is not required. Sometimes what is needed is for you (me) to listen to what your partner is saying. It's not simple obedience. It's hearing her needs, and trusting her to be telling you something deeply important, even if you don't understand.

It goes both ways. I know I make irrational demands of my partner at times. We all do it. Sometimes you just gotta listen.

From what you write, she's not saying no sea trials. She's asked you not to sail for pleasure. Makes no sense to me, and apparently to you, but as I say, sometimes understanding is not required. If you love her, and are committed to the long term, then trust her.

This is the heart of the discussion Mike, and I think you nailed it exactly!
I didn't/don't understand her position, and was simply wondering if it were deemed irrational, or if I was missing something!

Originally Posted by minaret

Perfect cover story. Your friends can be "prospective buyers" and your beer cruise with them can be a "sea trial". Good luck fooling her though!

Oh yea... We both know how this would have worked! NO WAY CAN YOU DECEIVE A FEMALE.... They will find out!

Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey

Your problem is Yours and you are a selfish missisipi pond sucker placing her memory and person on here. If she was reading this I'd say she should sell the kids and get rid of you and get a boat of her own and an unlisted phone number and find her own well hung crew that can also cook.

Go crew for someone else while waiting to sell. Sell the stupid boat and leave the poor girly alone with that lovely dream. This if she is not coming back for a final romantic sail before the sale.

I'll be in my 5 wheeler waiting.

Oh I get to vote now.

PERFECT SM!
I see that selling the kids is the source for boat funds... After that, she should have no problem finding a crew... er... monkey...

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

Gosh, men make things sooooooo complicated .

It's simple, sell her the boat .

SWL

We are rather dense sometimes to the obvious solution... Do you think she'll buy my other 3 boats too???

Originally Posted by carstenb

she may (note the may) forgive you for having to take prospective buyers out sailing (she will realizer this has to be done).

sailing by yourself or with a gang of guys and a couple cases of beer is - well the word sucidal comes to mind

Sea trial possibly... cases-o-beer-and-rum-sail... Yes, I think you have it...

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

I wouldn't count on it .

HappyMdR are you seriously taking advice from a bunch of crusty salty male sailors on this relationship defining issue?

SWL

They seem to have some good ideas no???

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

Why not? Most of us have had hundreds, some thousands, of really successful albeit, short, relationships. In fact many have said to me, "Come on Joe, I love you long time."

HA!!!!!!!
Yes, some men I suppose are not judged on the length of their.... relationships!

[HappyMdRSailor]

Originally Posted by zeehag

"hay, honey, it is time for you to relocate into warmer territory"
"sweetie i have a great idea.. why dont i buy a nother boat , a bit bigger so we can have the kids on board and sail off into the sunset? but it would be soooo much cooler if you could and would move into it with me"
"there is nothing i would rather do in my life than take you and the kids around the world. will you please help me find the right boat?"
etc......

I have the "other boat"!
This one is causing a financial and time effluent right out the "cruising scupper"!!!

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

WARNING! NO SENSE OF HUMOR ALERT!!!!!!

+1+1+1+!+!
(this was supposed to be funny post and poll... )

Originally Posted by Sailmonkey

I've always pulled the beg for forgiveness card......tell her is was all business, your robotic risk/reward unemotional Vulcan analysis ways cannot be quashed.

Then come the odd looks and the emotional non-calculated arguments that no one can ever truly understand....

You're F'd.................

Yea... I like this, but the unemotional Vulcan response is always met with intolerable amounts of volume enhanced opinion...

Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey

The poll says all...

I hate you...

Originally Posted by IdoraKeeper

I have a better idea. Keep the boat..don't sell her memories. It's only money. It stands to reason that a man with two boats should be twice as happy as a man with one boat.

I guarantee you I am NOT currently 4 times happier!!!

[HappyMdRSailor]

Originally Posted by Steve Bean

Sea trials with prospective buyers. A necessary part of boat selling process. Absolutely no fun involved.

This of course was countered with:
"You bought at least 3 boats that I know of without sea trialing them..."

ME= "Well... I'm also an idiot!"

Originally Posted by Mark Killam

Hey , does it count if you go on another boat. If not you can go out on mine and you will safe. I'm out there all the time anyway . Would be happy to drag you along. I'm leaving around noon today

Cheers,

MaRK

HOLY CRAP!!!
Mark... If I had seen this I TOTALLY would have taken you up on the offer instead of the countless hours of scrubbing, polishing, fixing...

Do you have ANY idea how much stuff is "wrong with your boat" when you propose to sell??? Holy crap list of deferred tasks!

Originally Posted by Stu Jackson

OK, I'm not seeking my boat and my wife doesn't live back east.

But every two weeks or so, if I've only done boat work or even haven't gone to the boat (which is all of 15 minutes from home), she'll say: "Hey, when you gonna go out?" I usually go out for three days & two nights at anchor, min.

Other than this group of respondents, who will say she is having a torrid affair and wants to get rid of me!!!, she actually enjoys me enjoying the boat, and we also use it together quite often.

I find it odd that one person in any relationship should be so limiting of the other person. Just childish behavior on her part. The happier YOU are the happier she should be, for both you and both of you together.

Sorry, dude, she's a little nuts and controlling.

I know she would have minimal discouragement if it were "just another sail" Selling the boat and the memories was the issue...

Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey

Happy: "meaning ask the owner if we can take the boat out after the sale ALONE WITHOUT THE OWNER JUST THE TWO OF US?"

Happy -- you are living in your own cloud-mind if you don't GET IT by now. I have no sympathy for you. You probably won't read the survey or advice anyway. I can only guess this whole post was to cause some sort of troll variation.

I DID read the survey and advice!
Wasn't nearly as enjoyable as a sailing rag... But I stumbled through it...

Originally Posted by dkroar

What Mike Reilly said......

+1

Originally Posted by jkindredpdx

If my girlfriend made this request, I could not honor it. But then, my girlfriend would not make that request. It's a boat! It's a sail! You are selling the boat! IMHO there needs to be a level of independence in a healthy relationship, including non-shared memories.

If she did you wouldn't... but she wouldn't so you don't know?
Independence yes... shared yes... complicated..... yes...

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

If the GF is a keeper, take the Mike Reilly approach. If not, do whatever you feel like.

Since she's told you it matters a lot to her, going on a fun deal with the guys instead of with her will let her know you don't value her feelings. I don't think any form of glib flattery would take away the sting from that kind of hurt.

Which is why -- to me -- this comes down to a very deep issue between you and your GF, it has to do with trust and how love is expressed between the two of you.

Ann

+1 Ann !!!

Originally Posted by dwedeking2

Women are insane.

Just tell her there was no cell reception at the strip club to cover your time out on the boat. </tongue-in-cheek>

I have found that cell reception in strip clubs is notoriously bad... I think the proprietors have done us a favor by the installation of signal jamming equipment...
(I find similar problems with cell reception in gambling establishments)

Originally Posted by tonewrone

This should have the answer

HA!

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

No, it isn't in Volume 1 .

SWL

Ain't that the truth SL!!!

[SaltyMonkey]

Long live the Bru hahahahaha! I smell a SALE any moment.

[HappyMdRSailor]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

I am not voting but I am opinionated and will share my opinion.

Your girl sounds very young and self centered. She, hopefully, will grow out of it. But this episode is emotional black mail of the first order. Manipulation pure and simple.

I am not going to offer any advice on how to handle this with her. But I would not put any effort in to "trying to understand". I sincerely doubt you are lacking empathy. But she asking you to "prove" your love in the most immature way. This is no different than a toddler tempertantrum. She chooses the memories...you can not spoil any memory for her. She will do that all on her own.

I value the opinion... Thanks for posting!

Originally Posted by carstenb

Lassie - that book is not Volume 1 - it is the executive summary of volume 1, which in itself is the first of 39061 volumes which are a shortened version of the explanation of where men's and womens' logic differ.

The biggest US government supercomputer has calculated that the answer to "why women and mens logic differ" question will be available about the same time as the sun goes supernova.

RIGHT????

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

Futile analysis? It is like managing a disease with no regard to what caused it in the first place. Major problems are therefore just about guaranteed to follow.
That statement underscores that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, like nothing else does .

Guys, just read Happy's last option in his poll.
The fact that this could even be considered a possibility means Happy has some brushing up to do regarding his skills in certain departments. Fix that and most of the other problems will dissolve or at least fade into insignificance .

Anyone able to PM Happy with some tips in this department?

SWL

No PM's or further opinions needed... This was as fun as I hoped it would be!

AND... Yes.... MY SO does know and has been reading the thread... She has formed opinions about her favorite CF'rs!

Originally Posted by carstenb

Lassie, The fact that Happy didn't just say "yes dear" means he hasn't had the experience generated by the joys of living through (and surviving) many relationships (like me).

This is really a no brainer - if it means that much to his wife - then just accede to the request and don't worry about it. drink your beer on someone else's boat or in a bar on the pier.

Happy's fourth option (which I voted for) - no nookie for you until hell freezes over, might be a bit exaggerated, but if he does go sailing I don't think he should expect to come home and find his wife in a "come here studly and do your worse" attitude.

Could be wrong I suppose.

"Yes Dear" is all part of the job if it is the path you take!

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

I'M THINKING I OWE SANDERO AN APOLOGY IN THE SAME FASHION AS THE EARLIER INSULT! Turns out MdR was only sorta funnin' around.

This was a clear-cut example of a "Yes Dear" situation.

DING DING DING!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!!
Fun+venting+general opinion were the desired results...

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

In Happy's case, I'm guessing he's already said "yes, Dear", he's just using the forum like the dunk tank at a fun festival.

This won't solve Happy's problem cuz he's ready fer a new toy but I'd be willing to fly to LA on my own dime, get in Happy's sea-ready Morgan and deliver it to Biloxi for nothing! What a guy! Thing is, I'd want to harbor-hop to see the senoritas, divert to the Sea of Cortez for some adventures, stop and see Zeehag for some undercover action, maybe a hurricane will happen ... all up I could probably deliver the boat by early 2018 or so.

Say the word Happy, and I'll put my boat on the hard, and head your way so you can make that little gal as happy as she's ever going to be. My motto is "a happy little woman is a gift from the gods."

I'm happy when everyone's happy. Just sayin'

No transaction took place yet... LETS DO THIS!

Originally Posted by carstenb

Well it's not as bad as the guy who posted pictures of his all his wife's shoes (that she had on the boat)

I can't remember his name, but I bet he's still diving every day in an attempt to find his cajones (larain babbit did not live in vain)

Right???

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

Do they have a curtsey smiley?

Actually no insult was intended.
I actually mistook this thread as a lighthearted bit of humour. That fact that I totally misjudged this if it is for real, underscores I know nothing about men (well, maybe except in certain areas ).

She does at least look clean Crabby. Gosh men are never satisfied

With love,
SWL

I think you know more about men than you let on...

Originally Posted by boatman61

Cannot understand the big deal.. arrange the hand over for a Sunday evening.. climb on board Friday before and spend the last two nights the 3 of you will be together chilling out with fond memories of laughter and tears.. a friend is moving on so to speak..

IDEAL!!!! +1

Originally Posted by a64pilot

Last night as we were going though more stuff to throw / donate, wife came across our youngest daughters dresses from when she was very young, Wife wanted to keep them, I told her sure we can store this stuff, but she started crying when our daughter wanted to throw them away.
You never know what they find important, just whatever it is, even if it seems silly to you, don't belittle it. To them it's important

This is the main point... You don't have to understand... Just do what's needed...

[HappyMdRSailor]

Originally Posted by Simonsays

you are not selling the Morgan for how many months now?
just curious :P

36??? No... 60???

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

I was playing off the fact that you didn't put a period at the end of yer sentence. It was a joke. And a funny one, dadgumit.

You said the right thing. Plus that's how it works: You pay storage on all that stuff for years until you realize yer NEVER going to put it on the boat anyway. I had to leave MY TABLE SAW. That hurt.

Now, let's get back to making fun of "Happy" MdR. It's noon his time, he'll be up soon after the weekend of debauchery his girl was worried about.

Joke was indeed funny!
Oh man... The table saw??? I thought I had issues.... Nooooooo!
Only slight debauchery.... That's a thing yes???

Originally Posted by gamayun

Ugh, option E -- "Dood, emotional blackmail/guilt trips suck."

This is one of many reasons why I remain happily single

Oh Gamay... These are the trials and tribulations... ***sigh***

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

Get in the boat and sail ............................................ to Mexico. Don't leave a forwarding address.

She has my Jag, Porsche, and 3 other boats in MS... I'll miss them... er ... her... AND Most importantly for boaty... My collection of 30+ Dino on vinyl !!!

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

SeaDreaming thinks this is an out and out manipulation, and it could be.

Or, it could be a test.

We don't know what underlies the communication, and we only have MdR's interpretation of it, anyway.

I won't vote, either.

I still think it comes down to the "keeper" issue, and I'm thinking she's not, because this essentially very private issue has been put out here.

Ann

For fun Ann... and I didn't vote either!

Originally Posted by Simonsays

i don't think anything at all serious was intended.
Happy finally really selling his second boat means the southbound preparations are in the final stage.
lighten up

ROGER SKIPPER!

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

Nothing serious? 2000 views in the last day or two sounds like very clever marketing to me .

Happy, has the boat sold yet? If not, do you want to tell us a bit more about her?

SWL

This got a shiznit load more attention than I expected to be sure!!!
3 offers... 12.5k, she's worth more...
http://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/...-a-153160.html

Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey

Relax folks! SWL is on the case!

RIGHT!!!

Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey

And stay out of town you must, thou insensitive mysoginist beast!

Oh I'm back... AND... with a pile of fun and work to greet me!

Originally Posted by Simonsays

did you at least sell the boat? :P

Not finalized... but maybe... Best part is the WE MAY have to go back in a few weeks... and such.... gets to cross everybody's checklist of desires!

Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey

Long live the Bru hahahahaha! I smell a SALE any moment.

***FINGERS CROSSED***

[Tayana42]

"This got a shiznit load more attention than I expected to be sure!!!


3 offers... 12.5k, she's worth more... "

Were those offers for the boat or the girlfriend?



S/V B'Shert