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Old 12-01-2010, 15:20   #1
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Feeling Uninspired and Disillusioned

I am 43 years old and my husband and I have owned boats for 12 of our 13 years together. Mostly living aboard during that time. In that time, we have been trying to tweek our lives a little here and there to make it all work. I am feeling lost and disillusioned. I used to love everything boat, working on them, owning them, everything. I have always thought of myself as a cruiser and don't know who I would be without a boat. Does that sound crazy? I feel like I haven't accomplished nearly as much as I would have liked in all that time. We have had a couple of cruises, nothing major in all that time. Without boring you with all the details, I am just flat out feeling uninspired, sometimes looking back on all the time, energy, and money sacraficed and just feeling like a sucker. I know it will get better, but it makes me sad I don't find joy like I used to in painting a locker or waxing the hull, now it's just a pain in the ass. I end up feeling guilty because I don't feel like a willing participant anymore. Are there any words of wisdom out there? I can't picture myself holed up in a house somewhere either, so that's not the answer. I used to feel like the luckiest, smartest person in the world. Not so much now.

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Old 12-01-2010, 15:29   #2

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Tomorrow is another day, this feeling will pass.

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Old 12-01-2010, 15:30   #3
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Are you sure this is strictly boat related or is the boat just a metaphor for something else in your life thats feeling hollow or worn out?

Maybe lots of us go through times in our lives when things get flat and dead. Ive cerainly been there, but when a new opportunity arrises, your good to go and you get the feel good factor again and alls well
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Old 12-01-2010, 15:34   #4
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Change happens.. to all -, perhaps its time for something new-, something different, somewhere different? Im very happy to be onboard 6-7 months a year and just as happy to be off the rest of the year digging in my garden! Today I picked up 5000lbs of horse manure and im excited about it - so many ways to live our lives,were all so lucky to be living in this age- find what moves your heart and go for it
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Old 12-01-2010, 15:42   #5
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I really hope doctor Phill chimes in this one
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Old 12-01-2010, 15:47   #6

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You could replace the word "boat" with house and everything would still fit. I would suggest you are just in a rut like most of us and are going about your life. Time to do something new that gives you some fun and newness etc. And this doesn't mean you have to get up the boat (replace boat with house etc).
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Old 12-01-2010, 16:53   #7
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Thank you, I have never posted here and didn't expect such quick feedback. Sometimes I just annoy myself. I have been so blessed in my life, and yet I sometimes can't get out of my own way. I just wanted to see if others felt like I do sometimes. I know I am fortunate to have choices. Like I said, I am annoying to me sometimes. It's is hard to call my friends or family that are sitting in commuter traffic in 5 degrees and complain. So again... Thank you.
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Old 12-01-2010, 16:54   #8
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Do you scuba dive? If not, maybe looking out across the water is the problem. Maybe your llife needs a little "looking under the water" time as well. It certainly is interesting, makes your adrenilin pump on ocassion and it's certainly fun and rewarding. Are you simply stuck in the same ol spot? Maybe an extended cruise is the ticket. Ever see the Great Pyramid? Maybe a trip over there is what the doc ordered. Gotta look at each day a little different, sounds like you need an exciting future goal instead of a job (like waxing, varnishing, or repairing.)
the perfect dive boat is one you're on...
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Old 20-01-2010, 10:02   #9
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5 degrees? Brrr, Maybe need a cruise to sunny queensland
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Old 20-01-2010, 11:13   #10
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Perhaps it is time to get away from boats completely, at least for a while?

I think anjou has an excellent point in that the feelings may not relate to boats at all.

Life begins where land ends.
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Old 20-01-2010, 11:52   #11
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I know all about those feelings of being "suckered." A lot of mine came from staying in a dead-end job too long or spending way too much time and money keeping old cars running.

I restored a 66 Mustang and drove it for four years thinking, this thing is going to be so great when it's all finished and reliable. Yet, even once every part of that thing had been replaced, it still had a new problem that required at least one weekend a month to repair it and keep it running. It wore me down and became a hassle instead of a joy. Eventually it ended up shut in the garage and sat for two years before I could bring myself to sell it, but letting go of that gave me the ability to pursue other interests.

Boats are like that car. There's no, "I'm done with the work" point. There's no, "It's finally reliable, no more repairs" point. However, you have to remember, everything that you go through with it is knowledge. It's lessons learned. It gives you subject matter expertise and enables you to be that much more self reliant.

If working on your boat is no longer fulfilling, maybe you've learned all you can learn from this life experience. What's is telling you? Perhaps it's time to take all this knowledge and use it to find a newer/larger/different boat that would be a better fit. Perhaps it's time to downsize the boat to a weekend cruiser and invest in a condo nearby that requires zero maintenance, so your time is freed up for other jobs/hobbies/interests.

Then again, as Anjou mentioned, the feeling of being worn out may come from not being fulfilled in your job or unhappy with your current role in life and that's just being taken out on the boat. I have no idea if you work or not, but if not, a job or volunteering with an organization can do wonders as far as giving your life a feeling of purpose. If you do work, and you're miserable, go find something new. Lots of people feel trapped because they've been in a job so long, but they never actually look at what's available.

Definitely communicate all of this to your partner. The worst thing you can do is nothing and just keep bottling up the feelings because eventually it explodes.
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Old 20-01-2010, 12:00   #12
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Either you've been tied to the dock too long or been at sea too long. Either way you just need a little change like changing ports or even boats.

As we get older or priorities change but not who we are. If your a boat person, that will never change. It's new challanges that keep life interesting.

As I say at work; "I'm just a phone call away from choas". A new day may bring new happenings. Stay active and reach out to new activities.
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the mist of a storm!
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Old 20-01-2010, 14:12   #13
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Cruising blues is a common ailment. Even sitting in paradise you have bad days. Take a break, don't feel guilty about it, or better still - go sailing. It will pass.

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Old 20-01-2010, 15:16   #14
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Watch the movie Yes Man!
Go outside and PLAY!
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Old 20-01-2010, 17:51   #15
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Oh, then just give it (cruising, living aboard) up, and go on to the thing that does make you tick. Who said sailing is for ever. Sometimes even true love is not.

If you feel you want to give it one last dance, why not take a year's break and sail to a remote and attractive location? If you are US based say to the Pacific and back? Who knows, maybe the charm will be back.

That's the beauty of life (in my eyes) that we can find different things attractive at different points of time and go and chase the changing dream.


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