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Old 29-07-2010, 04:52   #31
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Best outcomes?

What does your daughter want to do? There is a disconnect between the notion that the two of you are very close, and have been since she was an infant, and your statement that your relationship with her has deteriorated badly.

ASK her, and let her answer without fear of reprisal from either side. Then let her tell the judge, whichever way she wants to go.

Good luck to all.

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Old 29-07-2010, 06:41   #32
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Please feel free to feel as bad as you want.
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Old 29-07-2010, 22:16   #33
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I apologize for not replying to questions in the post for so long. Between my health and the stress involved with this issue this has been a difficult thread for me to follow. I'll also in advance for any typos and or other mistakes I make in this response. The meds they currently have me loaded up on makes it difficult to focus. I'm not even going to respond to the comparison between children and cats other than to say my daughter left her dog with me when she left and I still have her.

In an update.. My mother passed back on May 25th, and on June 4th I went in the hospital for a minor elective surgery and ended up having three surgeries and was in a coma for two weeks. Total time in hospital 4 weeks. I've been home for a month now and still have an RN stop by the house everyday to check on me. In moving on, the result is that my daughter and I are talking again for several hours a day, every day and our relationship is restoring itself very well right now. However, she turned 18 this past May and at this point will not be coming back home. I also received a letter from the WV State Supreme Court denying my appeal. I will continue this fight on to the US Courts because I wish to put an end to this Unconstitutional practice and possibly pursue damages. But let me add that there is NO AMOUNT of money that can make up for the year and a half of my daughter's life where she got her drivers license and went to her first prom.

For the record I am not an attorney. I am a political scientist that has been involved in the fathers' rights movement for 28 yrs now. I am also the lobbyist that wrote all of WV's divorce, child custody, and child support laws as passed back in 1999.

This was not done in an abuse and neglect hearing. The petitioners simply appeared before a Family Law Judge, (whom doesn't even have the authority to hold an abuse and neglect hearing), and stated they should have custody because I think irrationally their evidence on this was that I want to live on a boat with my child and tour the world.

The plan was to purchase a 41' sailboat, and spend a year or so getting to ready to tour and we weren't even planning to leave until after she graduated and then spend 2 yrs on the water together before she was off to college. This would have been after she turned 18 and it was something me and her planned together since she was 12 yrs old. She never once indicated she didn't want to do this and she even made plans with two of her girl friends to go with us so she wouldn't get bored. We spent an hour or two every weekend reviewing boats on and she picked the layout she wanted saying that if she was going to cook then she was going to pick the galley she wants.

Without opening my files and counting I can tell you that there are about 10 US Supreme Court decisions that make raising your children without government interference a Constitutionally Guaranteed Right under 4 separate Amendments as long as the Natural Parent or Parents are not found guilty of abuse or neglect. I can provide a list of all these decisions if anyone is interested.

In addressing the "Best Interest Of the Child" The US Supreme Court has touched on this issue as well in a decision stating that the Constitutional Rights of the Child CAN NOT violate the Rights of the Natural Parents. You might also note that "Best Interest of the Child Laws" were being pushed through by Grand-Parents Rights Groups in the attempt to give them an avenue to fight for custody and or visitation of their Grand-Children. A US Supreme Court just destroyed a Washington law where visitation with a child was given to the Grand-Parents stating the Grand-Parents had no right to violate the Parents' Constitutional Right to make decisions concerning their child. The particular law I am fighting is a section under Chapter 44 of the WV State Code, (Chapter 44 is titled "Estate and Trust Fund)," which gives a child age 14 or over the right to nominate their own guardian. 20 yrs ago our State Supreme Court decided this section allows for a Child age 14 and over to decide which parent they want to live with in the event of a divorce. I do not have a problem with this as long as there is a method to attribute the amount of weight given to a child's testimony based on maturity and the reasoning behind the child's decision.

For those of you living in VA you should know that this particular section was passed in the State of VA in 1823 and was carried over into WV State Code when WV separated from VA during the Civil War.

The way in which WV is currently applying this section effectively gives a child the right to divorce a natural parent and pick who ever they want to raise them.
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Old 30-07-2010, 04:04   #34
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I find it unkindly ironic that a political scientist, who has been involved in the fathers' rights movement for 28 yrs, who was also the lobbyist that wrote all of WV's divorce, child custody, and child support laws as passed back in 1999; has suffered at the hands of WV State Code, and must seek redress through the Federal Courts.

There's a cruel joke, burried somewhere in this tale.

Glad to learn that your daughter's visiting. It's a start.
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"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"

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Old 31-07-2010, 03:24   #35
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Dude, it seems to me you need to spend some quality time with my life coach Tony, a tiger striped felis domesticus. Tony sleeps all day, he stretches a lot, eats twice a day, and spends an hour a day chasing Cleo around the boat. He get seasick, so he keeps me from doing anything silly in bad weather and he would never let me go comatose for two weeks. He adds the perfect balance to my personal savior, Hunter S Thompson, who tends to have a somewhat unruly influence. I would suggest you focus more on Tony and forget about Hunter for awhile until you resolve your " issues ".
Good luck and forget about praying, ceiling cat could care less about your problems.
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Old 31-07-2010, 03:39   #36
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We always here this phrase nowdays
'In the childs best interest'
How often does the child get to chose its own best interest or is that decided by a judge?
In which case, its in the judges best interest.
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Old 01-08-2010, 14:06   #37
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Having been there, got the tee-shirt, and been totally aghast at what happens in "family courts" - the following line from his post #9 is the crux of the reality of family law in the USA - "I did talk to several Family Law Attoerneys. They say the judge will do what ever the guardian-ad-litum recomends."
- - I have spent mega-thousands of dollars on lawyers in custody battles and have been told more than once that in reality there is "no law in family court situations." all the supposed statutes and "law" are used as guidelines and generally ignored by both judges and family-lawyers. Lying, cheating, telling wild stories and even screaming insults is all acceptable and normal. Kind of like the Jerry Springer show.
- - Having also been on the other side and sat on a jury in a civil case derived from a family court trial I was really incensed at the total lack of common sense and lack of any sense of reality being played out on the courtroom floor. I ended up being jury foreman because I was the only one with an IQ above 50 willing to sit on a jury. The judge grew to hate me when I kept asking legal questions. I was taking too much time. The poor defendant father loved me, but I don't think he every got a penny of the award and conditions as the mother quickly left the State.
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Old 01-08-2010, 15:42   #38
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Osiris, all --

You speak a sad and unfortunate truth. All of these people getting paid to figure this stuff out, presumably in the best interest of the kids, and their primary goal is to get it DONE, even if they don't get it RIGHT.

Don't ask how I know.

Given the sad state of Father's Rights, it is still hard to decipher the facts in any domestic dispute. Love your kids, then cross youyr fingers.

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Old 01-08-2010, 16:14   #39
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I can't speak to the needs of "daddy's dream" or of the famiily courts, but I have raised two children from infancy to adulthood aboard our sailboat and it is a viable, admirable, beneficial, nurturing life without restricted opportunity for the child.
I can not speak of the trials of "daddy's dream", but our children have flourished with the experience. Do not consider that the raising of children on a boat is a negative. If nothing else, it brings you into a close contact with the interactions of parent and child and requires resolution of problems and a sensitivity to the needs of others. Problems are not shut behind doors, but dealt with timely and with communication. Who on this world would not welcome the close interaction that a family would have aboard a boat? Take care and joy, Aythya crew

Take care aqnj djoy, Aythya crew
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Old 01-08-2010, 16:23   #40
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understand got custody of three children ages 3 months 1 year and 5 years raised them by my self went through all kind of leagle court battle just to get custody took 8 months to get them one time my exwife's lawer had illegal papers dwarn up by lawer sitting in for judge on vacation sheriff deptuies came out and pulled their guns on me and forceabily took my kids away from me for three months i paid 800 a month to exwife just to visit children for a supervised few hours every two week finally the real judge came back and after paying large sum the judge dismissed the case claiming it was illegal yea after i paid a large court fee then every 3 months after i recived custody she took me back to court and tried to take them from me. i had to pay her laywer and my own lawer fees and court cost. third time i was awarded child support of 100.oo a month this she never paid even though she was nurse and made a lot more money then i did. years later after she claimed her back owed child support in banrupy i went to child support inforcement agency they laughed at me and said they didn't handle cases where father were susing exwife for back child support by now in 30 50 thousand range. now tell me about our leagle system and how it is legal !!!!!!!!! and not bias
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Old 03-08-2010, 02:36   #41
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Been divorced and remarried for some time now. I got to keep my kids as my ex-wife didn't bother to show up at the hearing. Of course she doesn't bother to show up with child support either. My new bride (of 10 years) can't get her ex to pay child support either. Neither state (FL and TX) will do anything because we're not on welfare; they're overworked and have no real power anyways. We can't even get their tax returns as the law requires.

At least we have the kids for a few more years until they move on.
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Old 03-08-2010, 04:24   #42
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I feel for you, you did everything right, you talked over the boat plans, no more than that.
UK would not even take it further than a preliminary assessment. And that would be by a Qualified Child Social Worker in the local Authority.
It will need patience on your part to rebuild the relationship with your daughter, it's working already, as she gets older and wiser she'll want her Dad back.
In the meantime I'd let the situation run it's course, but continue with the 'damages' claim. Does she have the right now, at 18, to move back with you, or is it 21 in the US?
Either way there is distress brought to her if you push too hard, I know you understand that. Let the 'childknappers' pay for her college education, they'll lose her in the end.
Good Luck and Best Wishes.
Ex Prout 31 Sailor, Now it's a 22ft Jaguar called 'Arfur' here in sunny Southampton, UK.
A few places left in Quayside Marina and Kemps Marina.
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