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Old 28-06-2020, 18:17   #1
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A general social question regarding sailing

I have been walking the docks looking for anyone who could use a hand and I notice that everyone at the marinas say they only know each other by their first names. If someone asks me for my last name when giving out my number, is that a red flag; should I just not bother telling them and change the subject if they ask for it?
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Old 28-06-2020, 18:28   #2
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

Only if the authorities are looking for you, otherwise stand tall.
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Old 28-06-2020, 18:37   #3
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

I know my dockmates first names right away but it can take from 5 minutes to never to remember their last names.
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Old 28-06-2020, 18:52   #4
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

I don't think it is an etiquette thing, more that one soon learns Pete [who has] Sundancer. So, when you're talking to him, he's Pete, and when you're talking about him, he's Sundancer Pete, or Pete Sundancer and no other surname is needed. If he has a partner, they are collectively referred to as "the Sundancers". Just how it is, I think. One often only needs a surname to send them snail mail, in my experience, rare for dockmates.

You should free to introduce yourself by your whole name, but don't expect most people to remember it, having heard it only once.

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Old 28-06-2020, 19:03   #5
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

I am horrible with remembering names so if you tell me your last name when we meet you will be lucky if I even remember your first. Twice now in the last 2 months people have given me their boat "business" card. Although I originally thought it was odd I love having them as I can keep them on board and reference them if I can't remember off the top of my head. The wife and I are actually trying to design ours now to be able to hand out.
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Old 28-06-2020, 19:12   #6
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

Same as the rest said. I can barely remember first names so last names, too difficult.

Besides I have a last name that even my wife can't remember.
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Old 28-06-2020, 19:29   #7
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

Funny this. I'd say it would depend on where you're at. I had two conference calls going at the same time the other morning. One from the East Coast (New England area) and the other from a Western state. The Eastern folks were all calling each other "Mr Ford" and "Ms Jones" and "thank you, Mr Chairman." The other call was all on a first name basis although last names and titles were important as a starting point. If the boating world ever gets worked up to more formalized introductions where last names are needed, then I'm going to take up surfing and give myself a moniker.
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Old 28-06-2020, 19:34   #8
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pirate Re: A general social question regarding sailing

I did a delivery from Perth to Tasmania.. when I arrived I thought I'd better call the owner and let him know all was well and the boat was sound and secured in the marina..
Dug out my phone and opened my contacts and thought..
Arrgghhhh.!!! Wot name..
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Old 28-06-2020, 19:44   #9
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

I'm known as Sharon's husband
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Old 28-06-2020, 19:49   #10
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

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Originally Posted by boatman61 View Post
I did a delivery from Perth to Tasmania.. when I arrived I thought I'd better call the owner and let him know all was well and the boat was sound and secured in the marina..
Dug out my phone and opened my contacts and thought..
Arrgghhhh.!!! Wot name..

I saw wot you did there.
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Old 28-06-2020, 19:55   #11
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

Wait people have names?
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Old 29-06-2020, 02:48   #12
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

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Originally Posted by OloteleMtn View Post
Only if the authorities are looking for you, otherwise stand tall.
Good one, Mountain!

As for names, Visions, I tend to be first name + boat name. "Paul on Dolce Vitae", " Barbara and Joe on Saint Barbara". Some last names I do know, but as we're on the docks, it tends to be people-and-their-boats identifiers.

I would venture that when you offer help or crewing, they revert to the conventional and ask for your full name and number - as you don't have a boat for reference!

Also take note of Gamayun's reply in particular and begin to adjust your perspective from a landlubber's view. This is one of the reasons people are drawn to sailing and sailors. Generally, we're an informal group, but word does get around. So if you're "offering help" - do the best work you know how and be dependable - or everyone in the marina will know it. It's a word-of-mouth community.

Happy Sailing,
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Old 29-06-2020, 06:19   #13
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

Ran into a couple from our marina at an anchorage the other day. I recognized the boat immediately, of course. When I saw them go by in their dinghy, we all recognized each other's faces immediately and exchanged pleasantries like old friends.

I still don't recall EITHER of their names. And someone told me, after I got back.

I think I tend to learn the boat name first. After a while, I'll learn their first name, and often their last name at the same time, especially if it's a common first name and you need to distinguish which one you're talking about.

But in the end, it doesn't really matter. The fact that they even ask your name means they're willing to talk to you. Asking for a full name as part of formal introductions seems pretty normal to me. What they call you after that depends on how you treat them.

I'm sure there are marinas where everyone uses formal names. I try to avoid those.
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Old 29-06-2020, 06:25   #14
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

For my dock neighbors, I know last names for some, but not most of them. Generally if I've got their phone number, I've got a last name. Otherwise, it's just Joe from boat X.
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Old 29-06-2020, 06:36   #15
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Re: A general social question regarding sailing

First name + boat name is pretty much all I can remember unless we become closer friends and meet up multiple times in various locations. Cruisers run across each other quite often but sometimes also meet many that will never happen upon again. It depends on what kind if cruising you do and what migration schedules you move on compared to others. You'll meet up more often with those that are on the same schedule and likes/dislikes.

Boat cards are great. We keep and file all of those from the people we meet. Writing a few notes on them about how we met and what other rhings are noteworthy to stir our memories later.

We are okay with being remembered by our boat names. When we bought the boat the prior owners told us to get used to it. It really is true.
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