Help ! I've an Itch that I Can't Scratch . . . Will this Forum Just Make it Worse !?

[bigbluedreaming]

Hello, from Christchurch, New Zealand. I'm 37 this year and I can no longer keep pushing my dream of sailing of into the sunset back down into submission. So this year I'm going to get another little boat, get out on the water and try to reconvince my wife to start thinking about buying a bigger boat and taking the kids sailing up to the South Pacific Islands and then hopefully further abroad.

We used to have a 20ft Pelin Caribou trailer sailer when we lived in Auckland about 10 years ago, we loved spending time on it in the Bay of Islands and sailing the Hauraki Gulf. We both had the bug! We were looking around at bigger boats, thinking about living aboard while we saved for cruising. Then unfortunately we had a close call with some rocks during very rough seas followed by a trip spoilt by tummy bugs from bad water and crappy weather and my lovely wife found a life on the water to be the last thing she'd ever want to do. Eventually we moved to back to Christchurch and started a family. Siesta got sold.

So now years later with 2 kids (6 and 2 1/2), halfway through a big mortgage on our "dream house" bought 11 months ago and both in comfortable jobs I throw a spanner in our lives by revisiting my lifelong dream of "Crusing around the World!". I've dragged out my 4 favourite books and have them beside my bed for reading:
Blown Away - Herb Payson
Advice for the Sealorn - Herb again!
Voyaging on a Small Income - Annie Hill - The Classic!
The Crusing Life - Ross Norgrove

I read these much to the chagrin of my lovely wife but, Oh, the dreams I have after a few chapters of those books! If I can get myself to sleep of course, sometimes hours can go by of lying on my back imagining the life my family could have and the places we could see. The education my son and daughter could have visiting the most amazing places and all the experiences (good and bad) they could have.

So, here I am, boatless, landlocked well and truly, with a burning desire to get out on the water that now isn't shared by my wife. I'll try and track down a little trailer sailer that we could take out on the alpine lakes and up to the Marlborough Sounds or just around the corner to Lyttleton or Akaroa Harbours. Maybe a few leisurely overnighters may seduce her back to the Salt Watery way of thinking. What do you think my chances are?

Thanks for taking the time to read my long and sorry tale! ;-)

I'll be pestering you all for advice and inspiration from here on in. You have been warned.

Regards,

Troy

[capcook]

Originally Posted by bigbluedreaming

and try to reconvince my wife to start thinking about buying a bigger boat and taking the kids sailing up to the South Pacific Islands and then hopefully further abroad.

Oh how I feel your pain.... I think this is a pretty common problem around here

[captainKJ]

in 1975 my father wanted to take the family on a crosscountry tour in a motorhome,,, 4 kids 1 wife,,,,,they kept coming up with excuses why they could not and what might go wrong,,, he is now 85 years old and still talks about how he wished he had done that trip..........
were do you and your wife want to be when you are that age,,, talking about what we wished we did or what we did,,,,

might want to convince the wife of trying it for one year,,, 1 years out of a persons life is nothing,,,,,,many other couples with kids have done what you are trying to do,,,,,

no offense meant but if your wife got into a close car accident would she refuse to drive again?????,,,

keep talking to her,,, having a fear of something can be overcome with a little patience on both your parts,

[GordMay]

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, Troy.

Yes, the Forum might exacerbate the itch.
Good luck in seducing your bride back to the sea.

[Hudson Force]

I'm convinced that we all have exotic cruising destinations just a day's sail away. We raised our children aboard sailing about Florida and the Bahamas with only distant dreams of New Zealand. Don't give up on your backyard!

[ChaseTheFun]

Here is a link to the video page of a family sailing around the world with their kids. While their budget looks larger than most and they are participating in the BWR, there are a several videos of the kids have a great time and getting a fantastic education. I can't begin to imaging how the kids lives have been changed and enhanced by this incredible experience:

All | Rock2Rock

(click on the video to make it play and then click on the menu button to see all the videos. Also available though iTunes as a podcast.)

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by captainKJ

might want to convince the wife of trying it for one year,,, 1 years out of a persons life is nothing,,,,,,many other couples with kids have done what you are trying to do,,,,,


,

But many years saving for that one.

And then there is the planning. We are still doing that.

[nes]

I too have the itch, I am in a position of being within 3 years of retirement, then and only then do I have a chance at making this happen. We will see what happens then. In the meantime, this forum helps with maintaining the status quo as I read about others who have managed to really deal with the itch. Thanks to all of you!

[SkiprJohn]

Aloha and welcome aboard!
Good to have you here. We've all experienced the same itch. Some of us have dealt with it in different ways.
I hope you enjoy the reading here on the forum because it'll outline how many have cured the itch.
kind regards,

[Adax]

Welcome aboard and the answer to your question is yes....
Also landlocked with no boat . The good news is that you can live vicariously until you are ready to do it yourself again .

Regarding your wife, hopefully she will come around again . You might relate it to a road trip and driving ,where you had a bad experience by almost taking the priority from a truck,stopped at a rest stop and had bad food poisoning from the experience .You would most certainly invest in a cooler after that, maybe avoid highways frequented by trucks but you would not give up driving necessarily . But I would not throw out the cruising around the world plot just yet. Jjust get back on the water and be an excellent meteorologist and Margarita maker to make life on board cool and chic again.
Good luck.

[nes]

Originally Posted by nes

I too have the itch, I am in a position of being within 3 years of retirement, then and only then do I have a chance at making this happen. We will see what happens then. In the meantime, this forum helps with maintaining the status quo as I read about others who have managed to really deal with the itch. Thanks to all of you!

Ok, I posted this in 2011. Since then I have retired (ok, I still plan to work occasionally as a contractor). My wife and I have moved from San Diego to Tampa. We trucked our boat from San Diego to Corpus Christi, then motor/sailed the GIWW to Apalachicola, Fl and then across the gulf to Tampa. Took almost 4 weeks to do this.
Best part of the trip was at the end with my wife the Admiral said "We need a bigger boat" and "maybe next time we can go to Puerto Rico" when I showed her on a map where PR was, and that we would probably need closer to 3 months to do that trip her comment was again, then we really need to wait until we have the bigger boat.

I have gotten lots of advice here on CF, some directly and some by reading the other posts. Along the way cruising we have met some fantastic people. Thanks to all of you.

[Therapy]

It is nice of you to come back with what happened.

It seldom happens.

Best of luck with the new boat search.

[fishin4bogey]

I hate to tell you there isn't a pill or cream to fix this!!