The Powerboat Col Regs

[mstrebe]

And these are the rules for power boaters to abide.

Rule 1: May the fastest boat win!

Rule 2: If two powerboats are of equal size and speed, the boat with the louder sound system shall be the stand-on vessel.

Rule 3: If there’s a sailboat and a fishing boat in close quarters, throttle up and thread the needle between them. Sailboats and fishing boats love big gnarly wakes. It’s like a free roller coaster ride that you’re providing.

Rule 4: At the fuel dock, powerboats have the right of way (see rule 1) so be sure to zip in front of that slow-ass yawl that’s been trying to hold way in the fairway for the past two hours while powerboats crowd in front of it. Sailboats don’t need fuel anyway.

Rule 5: Weave in and out of all that slow sail traffic on your way back into port, and don’t worry if they have to tack suddenly because you cut them off. They have different Col Regs anyway. By getting back to your slip first, you’re clearing the area of traffic and making it easier for everyone else.

Rule 6: That “no wakes” sign on the way into the harbor means “I’m on autopilot, don’t wake me up.”

Rule 7: Instead of mooring lights, use bright blue LEDs to light up all the water around your boat. You’ll be visible from much farther away.

Rule 8: Whom-ever is least drunk shall take the helm when the Harbor Patrol boat comes along side to yell at you for some incomprehensible reason.