The New Joke Thread

[FAST FRED]

"come to think of it....I don't recall that she shaved her legs either.....that memory is mostly blanked from my memory banks.."

In many countries hair on women arm,leg or light facial mustache is considered sexy

The hair is considered a sign of testosterone , which makes a better lover..

Gross to me is leg hair compressed flat in nylons , but I'm a gringo.

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Donald Trump has finally tweeted something positive.

[emoji1787]

[MicHughV]

Being unshaven, I think the French call it going " au naturel"....

but I'm here to tell you, waking up at night and feeling a hairy leg alongside yours is EXTREMELY unnerving and will elicit a scream to wake the neighborhood....

[double u]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

Being unshaven, I think the French call it going " au naturel"....

but I'm here to tell you, waking up at night and feeling a hairy leg alongside yours is EXTREMELY unnerving and will elicit a scream to wake the neighborhood....

gentlemen, dig deep into your subconscious - maybe you will find paedophilic inclinations as basis of your abhorrence of female bodyhair. IMHO mature men just LOVE THE BUSH!

[GordMay]

[MicHughV]

a hairy bush is one thing....a hairy leg is quite something else...

[LakeSuperior]

Let's see...pissing on the French, hairy legs plus, MREs, happiness that a elderly person got COVID, methinks it's a pretty grime joke thread with a dearth of jokes. Perhaps we should change the title of the thread. Personally I think I will give the thread a rest.

[goguygo]

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man how to fish and he will sit on a boat drinking beer all day.

[Singularity]

From Norm Macdonald:

A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”

The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness.

But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to.

My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror.

If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…

Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good.

And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”

And the moth says, “‘Cause the light was on.”

[Montanan]

Before I will accept 2021, I want to read the terms and conditions.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

Let's see...pissing on the French, hairy legs plus, MREs, happiness that a elderly person got COVID, methinks it's a pretty grime joke thread with a dearth of jokes. Perhaps we should change the title of the thread. Personally I think I will give the thread a rest.

Yes I agree that those all have a political flavor with humor drizzled over it.

However, I remind myself that comedy displays the worst.... and that often includes the comedian

Aristotle finds that tragedy deals with serious, important, and virtuous people. Comedy, on the other hand, treats of less virtuous people and focuses on human "weaknesses and foibles".

[Singularity]

Thank goodness in the past couple thousand years increasing percentages of people have moved to de-deify Aristotle and accept modern science.

[MicHughV]

So one day, the parts of man's body were having a conversation and bitching about life.
The brain: you guys have got it easy, I'm up here, having to run the whole show, day in, day out, I'm beat, man, I'm beat.
The stomach: Ha, that's nothing, I have to decompose an ungodly amount of hotdogs, hamburgers and cheap beer, each and every day, I'm plain tuckered out.
The feet : Don't know what you guys are complaining about, my owner wraps me in this leather containment device and then steps on me all day long.
The dick : You guys think I hang around all day, but at night, my owner gets me up, forces me go inside a dark cave and make me do pushups till I puke !

[Jdege]

Originally Posted by Singularity

Thank goodness in the past couple thousand years increasing percentages of people have moved to de-deify Aristotle and accept modern science.

From Terry Pratchett's "Feet of Clay":

"Another priest said,"Is it true you've said you'll believe in any god whose existence can be proved by logical debate?"

"Yes."

Vimes had a feeling about the immediate future and took a few steps away from Dorfl.

"But the gods plainly do exist," said a priest.

"It Is Not Evident."

A bolt of lightning lanced down through the clouds and hit Dorfl's helmet. There was a sheet of flame and then a trickling noise. Dorfl's molten armour formed puddles around his white-hot feet.

"I Don't Call That Much Of An Argument," said Dorfl calmly, from somewhere in the clouds of smoke.”

[Mirage35]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

yes, even during combat, Nelson liked to parade around his ship in full dress uniform with all his various medals glinting in the sunlight......he was an easy target for a sniper...

he was quite the ladies man as well........I've read that he was pickled in a cask of rum for the trip home....

myself, I prefer the rum inside my body......

Reminds me of my uncle who worked in a distillery - he drowned in a vat of rum.

They pulled him out four times.