The New Joke Thread

[ArmyDaveNY]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Chapter Two...
I'm not sure what they teach at those state universities, but apparently it's not geography.

On a positive note, she did get the planet correct. Or did she?

[MicHughV]

two hunters are out in the bush, looking for buffalo, when one of them decides to have a leak.
so he goes behind a tree, unzips and proceeds to do his thing, when a snake comes sliding down and bites him on his manhood.
screaming, he yells to his friend to find help.
the friend runs off and finds a village and gets to the local witchdoctor and explains the situation to him...and asks, " what can I do"....the witchdoctor replies " well, you have to suck the poison out or he will die...with this knowledge the man runs back into the woods to find his friend writhing on the ground....
" did you find help?" he asks...
" yes" came the reply, " I found a witchdoctor"....
" well, what did the witchdoctor say ?"
" he sez you're gonna die".....

[socaldmax]

Mule Raffle

Boudreaux & Thibodeaux saw an ad in the Starkville Daily in Pearl River, LA. and bought a mule for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
The next morning the farmer drove up and said,"Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux replied,"Well, then just give us our money back."
The farmer said,"Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."
The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"
Boudreaux said, "We gonna raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"
Thibodeaux said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Boudreaux & Thibodeaux at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked.
"What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"
They said,"We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."
Leroy said,"Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."
The farmer said,"My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"
Boudreaux said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux now work for the government.
They're overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs.

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

I was looking at some pictures of women on a dating app. One lady's profile name was "Theblondone." She's kinda cute.

She's obviously a natural blonde.

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

Common core math...

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[piloto]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

So was that fish I had wth Ouzo "Smelt" or do we need to go into a whole new tangent?
Attachment 218848

Methinks they must have contracted the Covid and lost their sense of taste and smelt

[socaldmax]

The question is, will the glove fit this time?

[socaldmax]

We forgot to mention the sprinkles...

sprinkles is on the right.

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]