The New Joke Thread

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

She's very popular on the hiking trails...

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

He was recently laid off as an Antifa rioter, but he just got a new job as a Murder Hornet...

[Freedom45]

[socaldmax]

That reminds me...

One of my neighbor kids came by and she sweetly asked me if I wanted any Girl Scout cookies as her dad watched from the sidewalk. I asked her if she had any Thin Mints and she said no. I ended up buying a couple boxes of something else just so I didn't disappoint her. Her father said they'd get more Thin Mints in a couple of weeks.

A week later, I got mobbed at the grocery store exit and ended up buying 4 boxes of Thin Mints just so the girls wouldn't be disappointed. About 3 weeks later, the doorbell rang and there was the little girl from a month before, with her dad. I started to explain I already bought 4 boxes of Thin Mints and the look on her face made it look like I just shot Santa Claus! I bought 2 more boxes.

Those executives who own the cookie company and fly around in Lear Jets are pretty smart marketing guys, sending an army of little girls out to shame us into buying a ton of cookies!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

[sailorphil9]

Originally Posted by double u

"...I could live with the above examples, except perhaps for AH"

whom do you reckon I meant? (Austria, after all! Or did we really suceed in making Beeathoven an Austrian & AH a German???)

I took it to be AH - he was Austrian after all. Not sure who 'Beeathoven' (sic) is (or was) though

[chrisr]

[sailorphil9]

Originally Posted by chris mac

The news report I read on it stated bubba never saw the noose. A crew member saw it, and nascar president Steve Phelps called the FBI. I was very impressed with the support the rest of nascar showed

Understandable, although it would be hard to hang anyone as the door would close, I assume...Reuters pic released by NASCAR today

[socaldmax]

Here's a photo of the PULL ROPE that was attached to the roll up door sometime before Oct. 14, 2019. The garages are assigned randomly to the teams every yr and last yr, nobody assumed it was a noose. But now that the entire country is ultra sensitive to all of this BS due to the media blowing it up beyond all belief, suddenly it's a noose. Why can't it be a noose for a white guy? Oh no, that's impossible.

I'm not going to go into my opinion of anybody who buys into this crap. I'm wondering if there is any common sense left in this world. Remember the movie "Idiocracy"? I think we are there now.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Here's a photo of the PULL ROPE that was attached to the roll up door sometime before Oct. 14, 2019.

Strange that no one got upset about it until the current driver was assigned that bay.


Oh, wait...."

[sailorphil9]

A rough tough looking group of bikers were riding out one day when they saw a girl about to jump of a bridge, so they stopped. The biggest burly, bushy bearded, tattooed biker (who was obviously the leader) got off his bike and walked over and said, "What the **** do you think you're doing bitch?"

"I'm going to jump to my death" she replied.

Not wanting to appear insensitive, but not wanting to miss an opportunity either, he suggested "Well, before you jump why don't you give me a great big kiss?"

Well the girl saw no harm in this as she was going to throw herself off the bridge anyways, so she gave the big hairy biker a great big, deep, long lingering passionate kiss.

After they'd finished kissing the big hairy tattooed biker said "WOW, that was the most passionate and sensual kiss that I've ever experienced, you sure do have a real talent for kissing that you're going to be wasting, Why on earth do you want to kill yourself ?”

The girl began to sob, gently at first, becoming inconsolable! "It's my parents, my parents" she cried.

"Your Parents?" asked the big hairy biker, "what's it got to do with your parents?"

The girl was still sobbing wildly, "They hate me dressing up as a girl!!!!

[socaldmax]