The New Joke Thread

[dfelsent]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

All this talk about "foreign" languages...

Some years ago I was at a meeting at Aldermaston labs in the UK. There were a couple of us Yanks and a slew of boffins from all over the UK... and I couldn't understand a word that several of them uttered, yet they were all native English speakers.

And then there is Australia...

Jim

And then there is Newfoundland.
You really need to focus and in the outports on de sout coosst the local speakers will also try to speak your dialect.
It all works though ! What a place to visit.

[a64pilot]

It’s been since I was a teenager, but I understood the Newfie’s just fine, ran around with a few kids my age.
Recently I have leaned that Newfie May be considered a slur? But that’s what they called themselves then?

[Eigenvector]

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on... It doesn't matter to me. I just love it."



His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding... I'm in Government too. Are you federal or state"?

[Buzzman]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

And then there is Australia...

Jim

Hah! Tole dja!!

Torkin Strine's a bummer.

[socaldmax]

Never let a woman tie you to the bed.

Even if it's the first date.

Even if she's smoking hot.

Especially if you picked her up hitchhiking near the local mental institution.

At least that's what my friend tells me. The doctors tell me he should be well enough to leave the hospital in a week or so.

[chrisr]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Hah! Tole dja!!

Torkin Strine's a bummer.

jim, only a true blue aussie could explain why "Wagga Wagga" is only ever known as "Wagga", whereas "Woy Woy" is always "Woy Woy"

cheers,

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by chrisr

jim, only a true blue aussie could explain why "Wagga Wagga" is only ever known as "Wagga", whereas "Woy Woy" is always "Woy Woy"

cheers,

Crikeys, Chris, now ya got me wundern! I think you are a TBA, so you are qualified... explain away! I'm quite interested!

Jim the seppo

[Buzzman]

LOL. Can't help with the Wagga/Woy Woy thing. Didja know Woy Woy is most famous for being the retirement home of Spike Milligan's Mum....??? I kid you not.

One that gets me, near where I live, are two districts - Yarrahapinni and Bellimbopinni.

The first is pronounced Yarra-happ-inney.

The second is pronounced Bellim-bopp-eeny.

Go figure.

Asked one of the local Dunghutti elders, and they couldn't shed any light. Just the way it is, apparently.

So not only the "invader's" language is weird, but so too the indigenous pronunciations.

So def must be an "Aussie thing".

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

LOL. Can't help with the Wagga/Woy Woy thing. Didja know Woy Woy is most famous for being the retirement home of Spike Milligan's Mum....??? I kid you not.

One that gets me, near where I live, are two districts - Yarrahapinni and Bellimbopinni.

The first is pronounced Yarra-happ-inney.

The second is pronounced Bellim-bopp-eeny.

Go figure.

Asked one of the local Dunghutti elders, and they couldn't shed any light. Just the way it is, apparently.

So not only the "invader's" language is weird, but so too the indigenous pronunciations.

So def must be an "Aussie thing".

The names came long before the anglophone spelling. That was just the closest the melanin deficient invaders could come to how they were pronounced

[Uncle Bob]

[QUOTE=Buzzman;3165128]LOL. Can't help with the Wagga/Woy Woy thing. Didja know Woy Woy is most famous for being the retirement home of Spike Milligan's Mum....??? I kid you not.


Met spike milligan's mum on a flight once, what a fantastic woman she was, we upgraded her to business class and she regaled us with stories about spike and I fully understood where spikes sense of humour came from.

[Captn_Black]

Well damn...

[aclmck]

I thought us aussies were easy to understand we have we have 6 states, Mexicans,cockroaches,banana benders,apple eaters,crow eaters and sandgropers .We have 2 territories roundabouters and top Enders.

Everyone knows this I’m sure.?


You’ll find them on our maps I’m sure!!!!

[Captn_Black]

Originally Posted by aclmck

I thought us aussies were easy to understand we have we have 6 states, Mexicans,cockroaches,banana benders,apple eaters,crow eaters and sandgropers .We have 2 territories roundabouters and top Enders.

Everyone knows this I’m sure.?


You’ll find them on our maps I’m sure!!!!

Y'all tell us that the interior is uninhabitable because of the deserts, but I know the real reason...

[El Pinguino]

Originally Posted by chrisr

jim, only a true blue aussie could explain why "Wagga Wagga" is only ever known as "Wagga", whereas "Woy Woy" is always "Woy Woy"

cheers,

Why is Woy Woy not just Woy?

Many of us wonder Woy...

Seems Yarra is/was the word for water... Yarra Yarra - the original euro name - just meant lots of the same.. now that river is just the Yarra....

Wagga Wagga ... 4 syllables
Woy Woy... 2 syllables....

Lazy buggers these 'strayans....

[south4320]

Originally Posted by aclmck

I thought us aussies were easy to understand we have we have 6 states, Mexicans,cockroaches,banana benders,apple eaters,crow eaters and sandgropers .We have 2 territories roundabouters and top Enders.

Everyone knows this I’m sure.?


You’ll find them on our maps I’m sure!!!!

And don't forget the Tasmanians are called twinheads. Supposedly from all the inbreeding.