The New Joke Thread

[LakeSuperior]

In college I experimented with marijuana. I did it in snow and I did it in sleet.

But I did not in hail.

[LakeSuperior]

What do you call a religious chef?

A man of the broth.

[LakeSuperior]

My neighbor complained my dog's barking is disturbing him.

I told him that I am also bothered by his bed squeaking when he's not at home.

[CatNewBee]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Name this fish...

What fish?

...

Oh, that fish!

[StuM]

I know people like this!

[StuM]

Originally Posted by svmariane

You may be wondering about my accent.
Of course, technically, I dont have an accent.
I'm from England.
This is just how things sound when they're pronounced properly.

If he came from south east England, that's not a joke, it's absolutely correct!

[StuM]

Originally Posted by svmariane

Late edit:
"happens to lots of guys" (should be plural); misspelled "actually".

I'm going to blame this covid thingy for my fat fingers' erratic performance on the keyboard. Stuck in lockdown means can't get to the pub means can't exercise me hands/fingers by lifting/controling a pint o'beer as god intended us to do. You know that beer is a devine intervention, right?
.

If you're going to be picky about your own post, you should also mention the missing apostrophe in "maybe its your fault"

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by StuM

If you're going to be picky about your own post, you should also mention the missing apostrophe in "maybe its your fault"

No worries, 'cause I know that you're around for backup.

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by StuM

If he came from south east England, that's not a joke, it's absolutely correct!

Plot twist: He's from Liverpool.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by svmariane

Plot twist: He's from Liverpool.

In which case, I don't believe the story. No one would know what he said

[IslandHopper]

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by StuM

In which case, I don't believe the story. No one would know what he said

Now you're not suggesting that I'd be embellishing my stories somewhat, or perhaps posting with deliberate intent to deceive the faithful community of sailors here in The New Joke Thread, are you?

Maybe I did lie. But I promise I'll never lie again!
The first 50 times were all innocent mistakes!

[Lost Horizons]

Originally Posted by Reefmagnet

Nah. There's a lot of us here that have to wade through pages and pages of empty posts


Something to do with some kind of geographic restriction on the https links. Cutting and pasting the link to the address bar of the browser and changing the "https" to "http" in the address bar will display fine for us lower classes

You guys must be running low on karma points...

[smbdyiam2]

Originally Posted by Reefmagnet

Nah. There's a lot of us here that have to wade through pages and pages of empty posts


Something to do with some kind of geographic restriction on the https links. Cutting and pasting the link to the address bar of the browser and changing the "https" to "http" in the address bar will display fine for us lower classes

the few empty posts that I saw---- I just didn't read them. Like when some one hangs up the phone on me ---- I stop talking to them. Most of the time.

[LakeSuperior]

They want us to get vaccinated so they can inject us with microchips and track us anywhere.

- Sent from my iPhone -