The New Joke Thread

[BBViper]

which is different from Xylophobia which is a fear of latin big band music from the '50s

[pianopraze]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

I wonder if, as this goes on, that 'fashion' masks will become a 'thing'?

Already is: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=neck+gait...f=nb_sb_noss_1

[svmariane]

There's a website offering customized N95 masks for people not bothered about Big Brother using facial recognition software. In fact, why not make things easier even in the midst of a global pandemic?
.
https://faceidmasks.com/



Buried far down the webpage there's this little note:
Is this a joke? Yes. No. We're not sure.

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Aren’t “xenophilia” and “xenomania” synonymous, and antonyms for the word “xenophobia”?

Not really. Philia is a love for, like necrophilia or pedophilia. Mania is an obsession.

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[smbdyiam2]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Aren’t “xenophilia” and “xenomania” synonymous, and antonyms for the word “xenophobia”?

I thought they were tenths .Like shoulda, aimin to. and fixin to

The difference between aimin to and fixin to is about 10 minutes ---give or take 1 hour. I think.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Not really. Philia is a love for, like necrophilia or pedophilia. Mania is an obsession.

So does that make the Philiadelphia Phillies a most narcistic group of investment people?

[GordMay]

Check one: Health experts or stay at home protesters?

[Eigenvector]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Check one: Health experts or stay at home protesters?

Off topic but relevant ……………..

During this pandemic I have made some troubling observations of long time friends and associates.

A) Most people can't understand MATH, much less exponential equations. Unchecked with a infection rate of 2.3, the difference between 100,000 infected and 1,000,000 is less than a week.

B) Most people are not CRITICAL THINKERS. Look at the facts YOURSELF and come up with YOUR OWN opinion. Take a class in critical thinking. You'll learn about Baloney Detection.

C) I'm not going to waste time arguing with you because A&B applies. But thanks for playing.

Ok, enough. Everyone stay healthy…………………..

[pianopraze]

From Facebook post:

"Just left Walmart where a lady with a basket full of TP asked me what kind of dog I had.

I said a GSD service dog.

Very rudely she yells what type of service?

I said he is a BLD.

What's a BLD? She asked as she has her face in my dog's face allowing him to lick her......

Now with a straight face I said "He is my butt licking dog. I can't find any toilet paper anywhere because of all you hoarding ass people, so he licks my ass clean......

The cashier lost it and walked away from the register."

[fxykty]

Originally Posted by pianopraze

From Facebook post:

"Just left Walmart where a lady with a basket full of TP asked me what kind of dog I had.

I said a GSD service dog.

Very rudely she yells what type of service?

I said he is a BLD.

What's a BLD? She asked as she has her face in my dog's face allowing him to lick her......

Now with a straight face I said "He is my butt licking dog. I can't find any toilet paper anywhere because of all you hoarding ass people, so he licks my ass clean......

The cashier lost it and walked away from the register."

That is AWESOME! I’m going to use that line (well, in training as they’re puppies) whenever someone gets into my foster puppies’ faces.

[Tayana42]

From the medical expert in chief.[ATTACH]

[pianopraze]

Originally Posted by fxykty

That is AWESOME! I’m going to use that line (well, in training as they’re puppies) whenever someone gets into my foster puppies’ faces.

I fostered and trained with a service dog service. Raised one from a puppy. I balled my eyes out for days when it came time to let him go.

Now we foster Greyhounds. They are only here a few months at a time, still sad when they leave but not as painful.

[Tupaia]

In line with ideas from Scotland and Belgium. The British government have come up with this idea that you can associate with 10 other people. The best laugh I have had in weeks reading the comments in a national rag.
Comments
1. Wow imagine having 10 friends
2. If Corona and lockdown weren't stressful enough I am now expected to have 10 friends.
3. Sorry you are number 11.
4. So now I have got to go and find 10 friends.
5. Rank your friends in order of importance.
6. You get to include your mum what about my mum.
7. 10 times 10 times 10 .... let me see where this goes .....
8. Why is it ingrained in British mentality to have the most ridiculously complicated and full of exceptions and sub paragraphs rules to everything we do? Just set a date and lift the damn lockdown, educate the people on the need to practise good hygiene and distancing and be done with it.
9. Girlfriend Son Daughter Step Daughter Hair Dresser Barmaid Drinking partner 3 footy mates. Right which pub can we meet in ?
10. It's like the government have turned into parents who've had enough of trying to control rowdy kids and are throwing in the towel... 'FINE, do what you want...'
11. On-line stress counselling offered to #11's

This not a joke.