The New Joke Thread

[DanCan]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

What's funny to one person may not be funny to another person. Since that is quite often based on very personal political views, it's been decided that no political jokes are allowed, to make things simpler.

Wait, but jokes on ethnicity or race are totally fine? I find that a bit hypocritical. If a person melts down every time a joke is made, better to avoid this thread don’t you think?

[Afrinus]

Maybe you should ban truths rather.....seing that both recent trumpian topics are only available to be be made fun of as they cut too close to that uncomfortable thing called truth...

If your skin is so thin that making fun of a political (therefore public) figure hurts, maybe you shouldn't read any jokes...

No poles, no politicians....geez, the world sure is turning sour.....

[svmariane]

So I was going to jump into this discussion of political-leaning jokes but got distracted. Apparently, the COVID-19 virus has again crossed the species line and is now infecting Artificial Intelligence platforms. The first to succumb was the WICANS. (Witches Inertial Covens Automated Navigation Systems)

[carstenb]

How can you tell if there are Marines on board a carrier?


well, if there guys throwing bread out to the helicopters......................

[carstenb]

Very old Lada (east german car) joke

Why do Lada's have rear window defrosters?

So you hands can stay warm while you push it

[smbdyiam2]

hi
My neighbor Bob is Polish He says he likes me because I think like him. Is that good or bad? I tell him he can not even spell his name backwards.

[Ivansgarage]

Corona Virus ?
OMG when is this social separation gonna end... my wife keeps banging on the front door and yelling "let me in"

[svmariane]

These stay-inside rules are frustrating. Why, I can't even go out my front door to socialize with my neighbor!

(Not the government rules, you idiot. My wife's rules!)

[Tayana42]

[ATTACH]

[svmariane]

I love my Steiner binoculars, but I'm willing to loan them out because it's nice to be neighborly, no?

[Montanan]

Enough said.

[Connemara]

Originally Posted by GILow

If she does, there’s going to be a long queue for her tip.

If she has a tip, I don't want her.

Connemara

[TheSandPebbles]

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by DanCan

Wait, but jokes on ethnicity or race are totally fine? I find that a bit hypocritical. If a person melts down every time a joke is made, better to avoid this thread don’t you think?

I agree on both counts. But you and I are not the majority on this website, or in this thread.

I don't make the rules, I just ask that they be applied equally to all. Since no one can be completely impartial, I agree with the mods that the only way to accomplish that was a total ban on political jokes.

As for jokes based on race, ethnicity, low IQ or gender, thank God those are still allowed. Let's not kick that sleeping dog too hard.

[GordMay]

Why God Never Received Tenure at the University
1. He had only one major publication.
2. And it was in Hebrew.
3. And it had no cited references.
4. And it wasn't published in a refereed journal or even submitted for peer review.
5. And some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world but what has he done since?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a very rough time trying to replicate his results.
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he often punished them, or just deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. He had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.