The New Joke Thread

[svmariane]

Was going to hoist the yellow Q flag, you know, because of this COVID-19 thingy and stay-at-home no visitors instructions. My wife said no.

Because it's only Quarantine if it’s in the Quarante province of France.
Otherwise it's just Sparkling Isolation.

[Buzzman]

Technically... it's only quarantine if it's in Venice, as that is the origin of the term "quarantina" - meaning, in the local dialect, 40 days (in isolation) as that's what they used to make ships wait before unloading passengers or cargo.

It's been 10 days now.....what the FAAARK is it going to be like in a month...???

[El Pinguino]

Originally Posted by SteveG58

The Pangolin are being poached into extinction for sale to Asian countries for the same reason as Rhino’s are. So it was put out there that the origin of Corona was the Pangolin to hopefully stop their slaughter. Perhaps done somewhat is jest but somewhat in hope!

I thought - as I started to read that - that you were giving us a recipe....

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Technically... it's only quarantine if it's in Venice, as that is the origin of the term "quarantina" - meaning, in the local dialect, 40 days (in isolation) as that's what they used to make ships wait before unloading passengers or cargo.

It's been 10 days now.....what the FAAARK is it going to be like in a month...???

Yeah? Be that as it may, but my version is funny.

[GordMay]

To the people who bought 20 bottles of soap, leaving none of the shelves for others, you do realise that to stop getting Coronavirus, you need other people washing their hands too.
---
To those who are complaining about the quarantine period and curfews, just remember that your grandparents were called to war, you are being called to sit on the couch and watch Netflix. You can do this.

[smbdyiam2]

Originally Posted by GordMay

To the people who bought 20 bottles of soap, leaving none of the shelves for others, you do realise that to stop getting Coronavirus, you need other people washing their hands too.
---
To those who are complaining about the quarantine period and curfews, just remember that your grandparents were called to war, you are being called to sit on the couch and watch Netflix. You can do this.

I'll force my self but wife has remote.

[GordMay]

*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus.
In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stock piled "just in case".

The whole lot collapsed and buried him.

[Pelagic]

Sometimes practicing social distancing on a boat can be really hard!

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Honest Government Ad - Coronavirus: Flatten The Curve
The Government has made an ad about the Coronavirus and its surprisingly honest and informative
https://www.thejuicemedia.com/honest...d-coronavirus/

Just another attack on Trump.
Take your politics elsewhere!

[Uncle Bob]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Sometimes practicing social distancing on a boat can be really hard! Attachment 212041

You did mean difficult didn't you.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Uncle Bob

You did mean difficult didn't you.[emoji3][emoji3]

In a complementary way,
.... I have no difficulty getting hard

[SailOar]

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by smbdyiam2

I'll force my self but wife has remote.

He says, as the enormity of that mistake begins to fully dawn on him.

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]