The New Joke Thread

[Paul L]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Are you SURE you don't believe humor is in the eye of the beholder?

......

Of course humor is in the eye of the beholder. When the poster says after the fact they posted to shock, not for humor, then I'm comfortable with the supposed joke not being humor. Perhaps the troll nature of it might be considered funny, or pathetic, depending on your point of view.

[OldManMirage]

Mom and dad are having their first baby. Delivery goes fine, but the Doctor quickly notices a problem. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son has no eyelids."


Mom and dad are aghast. "Doctor, what can you do ?"


Doc says, "Its ok, we do have a procedure. When we circumcise him, we simply take the forskin and use it to create eyelids. He'll be fine, its just he will be a little cockeyed."

[Dave_S]

Can You Get Married In Heaven?

On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident.

Being good Catholics, the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked.

Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.

After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggle. "Yes" he informs the couple " I can get you married in Heaven".

"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

"You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple".

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me three months to find a priest up here.....Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by Adelie

Humor involves breaking an expectation without breaking logic.

An example is:

Q: What do you call a cross between a parrot and a tiger?
A: Whatever it tells you to call it.

Based on previous history with jokes like this the expectation is that the answer will be some mashup of the words “parrot” and “tiger” that is cute or has some secondary meaning.
In this case the answer breaks that expectation by being something else.

Some jokes depend on breaking cultural or language expectations. People that speak English as a second language or that are from one part of the English world hearing a joke from another part may not have the existing expectations that can be broken to humorous effect.

Then too some people may have sensitivities that overwhelm the joke. For some jokes that can be taken as disparagement of specific groups such as women, racial, religious or gender minorities, the reaction to the disparagement overwhelms the reaction to breaking an expectation and the joke falls flat for that reader or listener.

Likewise jokes that involve something gross or disgusting may have the disgust overwhelm the breaking of expectation.

And then there are folks who say mean things about others and call it a joke because “all humor is at the expense of somebody” Maybe not all but certainly MOST.which is both incorrect and a rationale to to justify saying mean things.

And finally there are a few folks who just don’t get it but they are pretty rare.

To say that humor is in the eye of the beholder is to a certain extent true but it is also true that it is expected that a joke teller know that the receiver has the appropriate language and cultural background to get the joke. Which means that NO ONE can post a joke on a public forum because there is no way for them to know all the receivers.

.......

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by OldManMirage

Mom and dad are having their first baby. Delivery goes fine, but the Doctor quickly notices a problem. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son has no eyelids."


Mom and dad are aghast. "Doctor, what can you do ?"


Doc says, "Its ok, we do have a procedure. When we circumcise him, we simply take the forskin and use it to create eyelids. He'll be fine, its just he will be a little cockeyed."

YEP. Hilarious. NOT!
This could be almost as offending to any one that had any child born with a defect of any sort.
Some (or even one) could consider this horrid.

Just close this thread then HUH! _%^&_@)&%*&$)_(^*

[Outlaw7]

Man, this becoming a tough room!

[double u]

all you joke-gestapo: go home!
as svmariane says: "Being offended is not the same thing as being right."

[socaldmax]

I always enjoyed George Carlin and Sam Kinison because their humor didn't break expectations, they were extremely keen observers of life and you couldn't help but admire the basic truth they spoke. Most people could relate to what they said because they'd experienced it or it was logical.

I still crack up every time I think of Sam Kinison screaming, "Move to where the food is!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKNoJ2BzSRU

[svmariane]

[senormechanico]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Are you SURE you don't believe humor is in the eye of the beholder?

How about beauty?

How about boats?

How about anchors? AIS? Radar?

If you truly feel that all of those topics are not judged subjectively, perhaps you haven't read the tens of thousands of arguments on this website alone.

Humor is in the eye of ALL beholders, both vitreous and aqueos.
Here's proof:







And that's no joke.

[scherzoja]

I thought it was funny. I also suffered from several years of 'dead baby' jokes in the mid-80s.

Whenever I read a posted joke that I don't like, I look at the poster's username to ascertain the gender, then I say to myself, "That guy's a moron!" or "That woman's a b**ch" or whatever pejorative makes me feel good, then move on to the next joke.

[Buzzman]

LOL. I too remember the 'bad taste' baby jokes of the eighties.

My favourite was:
"What's red and screams and screams and screams?"
"A peeled baby in a bucket of salt".

And those 'baby jokes' did in fact comply with the 'rules for jokes' previously posted, whereby the punchline was something completely unexpected....

But, and I go way out on a limb here, and in no way mean to disparage those who serve (or those who died) but, the day after the Spaceshuttle Challenger explosion, I was on my morning commute and heard one of our larrikin radio jocks ask:

"What does NASA stand for?"
"Need another seven astronauts!"

SOOOO insensitive. But that very insensitivity is what made the punchline so (shockingly) funny.

Remember in Australia we are a LONG way removed from the Space Race, and the emotional investment Americans have placed in it....

But that "joke" did make the evening TV news, and many conservative pundits heaped scorn and approbation on the radio jock in question.

These days, it would probably be followed by a shrug of the shoulders and a quizzical: "Too soon..?"

So yeah, humour is different things to different folks, all at the same time.

Like my ongoing difficulty with "engineering jokes".....

YMMV

[dfelsent]

Hey what’s wrong with engineering jokes?
I’m offended that you don’t find them funny!!!
NOT.
I’ve negotiated with my kids our mutually acceptable boundaries of humor. We can tell jokes the others find in poor taste or boring. We stay away from those. Mostly.
On this thread I find some funny as all get out, some ehh, and some in poor taste.
I laugh at the jokes I enjoy, and more or less ignore the others.
Thank you ALL for posting.

[Eigenvector]

And to help get us back aligned.................


A kid is walking down the sidewalk when he runs a across a hard hat laying to the side. He picks it up and puts it on. Upon getting to the corner, there is a guy with no arms just standing there. The guy turns to the kid and says “He kid, can you push the button, I have no arms”
The kid looks at him and says “sure” and pushes the button.
The guy then tells the kid “Hey, I need to pee, can you pull down my zipper, I’ve got no arms”
The kid looks at him and says “sure” and pulls his zipper down.
Then the guy tells the kid “Hey can you pull it out and hold it for me, I’ve got no arms”
The kid looks at the guy and says “Look mister, I don’t really work in the oilfield, I found this hard hat a few blocks back”

The nice thing about this joke is you can easily substitute welding hood, democrat sign, police hat, sailor hat…………what ever…………and it still works. Although the original version had another line.

[Buzzman]

Is this another version of the engineering joke...???