Cruisers Forum
 


Closed Thread
  This discussion is proudly sponsored by:
Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about their products on Cruisers Forums. Advertise Here
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 8 votes, 4.38 average. Display Modes
Old 27-03-2017, 19:22   #2071
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Back in Montt.
Boat: Westerly Sealord
Posts: 8,180
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by StuM View Post
If you ever go to a hotel that offers continental breakfast, make sure they specify which continent because penguin tastes of sh*t.
Not so.... penguin tastes of fish

http://www.snopes.com/penguintastesofshitmyth/
__________________
A little bit about Chile can be found here https://www.docdroid.net/bO63FbL/202...anchorages-pdf
El Pinguino is offline  
Old 27-03-2017, 19:35   #2072
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Back in Montt.
Boat: Westerly Sealord
Posts: 8,180
Re: The New Joke Thread

Meanwhile another 'true fact' about penguins .

If you bite a penguin's head off it neither bleeds nor falls over.....

Doesn't bleed cos the blood is below freezing which also means you don't have to keep dead penguins in the 'fridge.

Ping, penguin expert.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	DSC_0094.jpg
Views:	188
Size:	71.2 KB
ID:	144107  
__________________
A little bit about Chile can be found here https://www.docdroid.net/bO63FbL/202...anchorages-pdf
El Pinguino is offline  
Old 27-03-2017, 19:41   #2073
Registered User
 
senormechanico's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2003
Boat: Dragonfly 1000 trimaran
Posts: 7,145
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by toddster8 View Post
Oh heck no! There's like, 200 actionable safety violations in that photo!

And on the other side, operating a breaker hammer is a union job. Operating the extension cord is a separate union job. Removing material from the hole is a third union job. Maintaining the tools is yet another union job. Then you'd need a trailer for a break room, toilets, showers. Attendants for same... yeah, bringing a power tool into it makes this a million dollar job, at least.

BTW: I own that exact Bosch breaker hammer. It is the most phallic tool that I own. In fact, I should be using it today, but have been procrastinating.
And people wonder why our country is in deep financial doo doo...
__________________
The question is not, "Who will let me?"
The question is,"Who is going to stop me?"


Ayn Rand
senormechanico is offline  
Old 27-03-2017, 19:49   #2074
Senior Cruiser
 
StuM's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPBs
Posts: 12,888
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by El Pinguino View Post
Ok, here we go on yet another foray into the depths of totally useless trivia.

An interesting read about the Belgica which was stranded over winter of 1897 in the Antarctic: Antarctic Explorers: Adrien de Gerlache

""If it's possible to imagine a piece of beef, odiferous cod fish and a canvas-backed duck roasted together in a pot, with blood and cod-liver oil for sauce, the illustration would be complete""

This may be why they taste like that: Penguins - GIF on Imgur
StuM is offline  
Old 27-03-2017, 21:16   #2075
Registered User
 
delmarrey's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
Images: 122
Re: The New Joke Thread

Let's play what's my line!



.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	FullSizeRender.jpg
Views:	202
Size:	234.3 KB
ID:	144109  
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the midst of a storm!
delmarrey is offline  
Old 27-03-2017, 21:40   #2076
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Boat: Formosa 41
Posts: 1,019
Re: The New Joke Thread

School crossing guard
Jason Flare is offline  
Old 27-03-2017, 22:09   #2077
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Back in Montt.
Boat: Westerly Sealord
Posts: 8,180
Re: The New Joke Thread

Nowhere did Gerlache say it tasted like ****... he said it tasted like 'a piece of beef, odiferous cod fish and a canvas-backed duck roasted together in a pot, with blood and cod-liver oil for sauce'....

Put that on the menu in a Norwegian restaurant and they would be queued up down the street and around the corner...

Norway... the land gave us cod's tongue.....
__________________
A little bit about Chile can be found here https://www.docdroid.net/bO63FbL/202...anchorages-pdf
El Pinguino is offline  
Old 27-03-2017, 22:12   #2078
Registered User
 
delmarrey's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
Images: 122
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason Flare View Post
School crossing guard
Can you imagine driving up on something like that.... then it moves! 😳
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the midst of a storm!
delmarrey is offline  
Old 27-03-2017, 22:28   #2079
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Boat: Formosa 41
Posts: 1,019
Re: The New Joke Thread

Surstromming:

Jason Flare is offline  
Old 27-03-2017, 22:30   #2080
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Boat: Formosa 41
Posts: 1,019
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
Can you imagine driving up on something like that.... then it moves! 😳
Well, it would be tough to know which way to steer.
Jason Flare is offline  
Old 28-03-2017, 05:14   #2081
SFS
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Always travelling
Posts: 272
Re: The New Joke Thread

This thread needs more jokes.
SFS is offline  
Old 28-03-2017, 05:51   #2082
Registered User
 
Cotemar's Avatar

Community Sponsor

Join Date: Dec 2007
Boat: Mahe 36, Helia 44 Evo, MY 37
Posts: 5,731
Re: The New Joke Thread

I hope I remembered to put on the parking break.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	hope i remembered to set the parking brake.jpg
Views:	252
Size:	31.3 KB
ID:	144123  
Cotemar is offline  
Old 28-03-2017, 05:52   #2083
Registered User
 
Cotemar's Avatar

Community Sponsor

Join Date: Dec 2007
Boat: Mahe 36, Helia 44 Evo, MY 37
Posts: 5,731
Re: The New Joke Thread

Yes, Dear, I did lock the gate......
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	yes dear i locked the gate.jpg
Views:	228
Size:	63.8 KB
ID:	144124  
Cotemar is offline  
Old 28-03-2017, 09:12   #2084
Registered User

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 357
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by a64pilot View Post
The first two though I can attest to. When I was first stationed at Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, all the coke machines were placed behind chain like barricades, cause a stupid I assume drunk soldier did tip one over one himself after it didn't vend the coke. Those things do weigh something like a half a ton loaded. I'd bet that they are still behind those chains.

Ten years or so later at aerial gunnery at Ft Hood Tx. We were waiting our turn to go down range and were sitting in our folding camp chairs. Someone thought it would be cute to grade the landings so we made signs with numbers like the Olympic judges use.
Anyway we were sitting there and an AH-64 flew by with two pressed hams in the windows. In the Apache you are separated by six feet or so and a "blast shield", the front seater can only see the guy in back through a small mirror. So they had decided to moon the judges, but had not decided on who would moon. Fortunately the AH-64 is a very stable aircraft and there was no accident. Joke for years was how would the Accident board explain two dead pilots with the flights suits around their knees.
Perfect case of the breakdown of aircrew coordination.


There was an episode on Myth Busters ref the JATO car
Aren't flight suits one piece? That takes some serious dedication to the art of the pressed ham.
__________________
Herreshoff preferred Multi's...........
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." A. Lincoln
PhiSig1071 is offline  
Old 28-03-2017, 09:37   #2085
Registered User
 
delmarrey's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
Images: 122
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by SFS View Post
This thread needs more jokes.
Not jokes, but one can laugh at themselves.

18 of Murphy's Laws...


1.Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to
pee.

2.Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped,
will roll to the least accessible place in the
universe.

3.Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Random Numbers -
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal; someone always answers.

5.Variation Law -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one
you were in will always move faster than the
one you are in now.

6.Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone will ring.

7.Law of Close Encounters -
The probability of meeting someone you know
INCREASES dramatically when you are with
someone you don't want to be seen with.

8.Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that
an item won't work, IT WILL!!!

9.Law of Biomechanics -
The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

10.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena -
At any event, the people whose seats are
farthest from the aisle, always arrive last.
They are the ones who will leave their seats
several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet
and who leave early before the end of the
performance or the game is over. The folks
in the aisle seats come early, never move
once, have long gangly legs or big bellies
and stay to the bitter end of the performance.
The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11.The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which
will last until the coffee is cold.

12.Law of Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.

13.Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet or rug.

14.Law of Logical Argument -
Anything is possible IF you don't know
what you are talking about.

15. Law of Physical Appearance -
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16.Law of Public Speaking --
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really
like, they will stop making it OR the store will
stop selling it!

18.Doctors' Law -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go
to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel
better. But don't make an appointment and you'll
stay sick.
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the midst of a storm!
delmarrey is offline  
Closed Thread

Tags
boat

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 22:38.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.