The New Joke Thread

[Curious Sailor]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

Trump only pretends to have such a nice mane! My guess is that his hairdresser and his doctor are one in the same....

You think? Lol.

[Buzzman]

I was thinking he was in with the carni crowd - and it was in fact orange-dyed candy floss....

[D&D]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

I don't get it. Can you explain?

+2


...and to make sure we keep the jokes running...albeit with a degree of 'bad taste' risk...


The following are all supposed to be actual replies written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'Father's Details,' or putting it another way...Who's your baby's Daddy?
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.
2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl.. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard, where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.
4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.
7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.
8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you axe him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time..... well, I don't have clue.
9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World. Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave, mine might have remained unfertilized.
11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

[Curious Sailor]

Lol lol

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

I think the loaf of bread pilot is like this one:

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Wednesday.

It doesn't make sense because it isn't meant to.

Okaaaaaaaay, but...

How is that funny? This is a joke thread, so we're hoping for funny jokes.

[Sea Dreaming]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Okaaaaaaaay, but...

How is that funny? This is a joke thread, so we're hoping for funny jokes.

Why do they bother saying "raw" sewage? Do some people cook that stuff? (George Carlin)

[Charlotte Anne]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

I don't get it. Can you explain?

It's like GILow's joke about the stick. It's absurd and makes you laugh out loud. Or maybe it was just me.

Going back to my corner.

[GordMay]

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, Charlotte Anne.
No need to go back to your corner.
Well, actually, you don’t even get a corner, on CF, until you’ve posted 10 contributions.

[jeanathon]

So let me try this out.
Why didn't the dough rise?
Because it was a pilot!
Got it now.

[Pelagic]

Not yet.....unless the pilot has a Jesus complex....but willing to keep trying....
Maybe a bit more nautical....

What do you get from Pilot Bread?

Sandwiches that can navigate around the dinning table

[goat]

Back to some "jokes"

I have a phobia of German Sausages.
Yes, I fear the wurst.

Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station on the other side.

What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung. (Thank you John Cleese)

[socaldmax]

Let's try it again.


Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a radical Muslim.

Why did the flight attendant get a yeast infection? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

[Abgreenbank]

Another pilot joke





Sent from my iPad using Cruisers Sailing Forum

[Abgreenbank]

Sent from my iPad using Cruisers Sailing Forum

[socaldmax]

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