The New Joke Thread

[Therapy]

I bumped into an old friend today and he said, "Hi mate, how're you doing?"

I replied, "Yeah, not too bad. At least I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do any more."

"Why, are you taking medication?" he asked.

I said, "No. I quit my job and got divorced."

[StuM]

Originally Posted by carstenb

Actually, if you are going at the speed of light, you'll be goig at the same speed as the light being emitted from your headlights, which means it won't be emitted.

So - your headlights will not work. Although if you have a car that goes at he speed of light - having headlights is probably the least of your problems

Says someone who doesn't understand relativity and time dilation

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Jeff Bird

If you were driving a car at the speed of sound would the horn work? Would only people in the back seat be able to hear the radio?

Speed of sound is otherwise know as Mach 1 (for those following the fridge thread: a Mach number is dimensionless while speed of sound is not )

Q1: Yes
Q2: No, because the air inside the vehicle is stationary with respect to the vehicle and sound will propagate equally in all directions inside the vehicle.

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by StuM

Says someone who doesn't understand relativity and time dilation

HI Stu

Care to explain? ONce the car achieves the speed of light (the fastest speed possible in the known universe) turning on the headlights will have no effect since light cannot travel faster than light (And it doesn't matter that the platform from which the light is trying to emit is already going that speed, as noted with the air inside the car and sound).

Light can't "jumpstart" by being in a vehicle that is already going at lightspeed and therefore when the headlights are turned on the light will be going at twice the speed of light.

I readily admit to not being a physicist - but I'm generally not completely lost behind the wagon, so I'd really like to know

[flagorio]

Yes but can you "see" at the speed of light? Assuming your headlights could illuminate anything.

Sent from my SM-G900V using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[LakeSuperior]

Originally Posted by carstenb

HI Stu

Care to explain? ONce the car achieves the speed of light (the fastest speed possible in the known universe) turning on the headlights will have no effect since light cannot travel faster than light (And it doesn't matter that the platform from which the light is trying to emit is already going that speed, as noted with the air inside the car and sound).

Light can't "jumpstart" by being in a vehicle that is already going at lightspeed and therefore when the headlights are turned on the light will be going at twice the speed of light.

I readily admit to not being a physicist - but I'm generally not completely lost behind the wagon, so I'd really like to know

In this specific case you may be wandering behind a wagon. Google "relativity for dummys" and you will find a number of informative links. It would be too hard to explain it here. For your specific question go to http://www.einstein-online.info/spotlights/doppler


There is special relativity and general relativity to ponder. Take your time as it is truly wonderful that mankind was able to uncover such elegance. Both theories have pointed the way for astronomers to unlock secrets to the universe like theorizing the existence of black holes, then understanding how to look for them, then discoving them.

From the point of view of a sailor navigating using GPS, the clocks on the GPS satellites are adjusted to compensate for both special and general relativistic effects. The relative motion and depth in earth's gravitational well of the GPS satellites are different relative to an observer, a sailor, at sea level. Consequently, the clocks on the GPS satellites must be programmed to run at a slightly different speed relative to an observers clock at sea level. This adjustment improves the accuracy of our estimated position on the sea surface. GPS and Relativity

Understand that relativity is not something that is intuitive. We don't live in a framework where the relativistic effects are noticeable in the normal day-to-day experience. Consequently, it is not something that would intuitive without the study of physics.

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

In this specific case you may be wandering behind a wagon. Google "relativity for dummys" and you will find a number of informative links. It would be too hard to explain it here. For your specific question go to Waves, motion and frequency: the Doppler effect — Einstein Online


There is special relativity and general relativity to ponder. Take your time as it is truly wonderful that mankind was able to uncover such elegance. Both theories have pointed the way for astronomers to unlock secrets to the universe like theorizing the existence of black holes, then understanding how to look for them, then discoving them.

From the point of view of a sailor navigating using GPS, the clocks on the GPS satellites are adjusted to compensate for both special and general relativistic effects. The relative motion and depth in earth's gravitational well of the GPS satellites are different relative to an observer, a sailor, at sea level. Consequently, the clocks on the GPS satellites must be programmed to run at a slightly different speed relative to an observers clock at sea level. This adjustment improves the accuracy of our estimated position on the sea surface. GPS and Relativity

Understand that relativity is not something that is intuitive. We don't live in a framework where the relativistic effects are noticeable in the normal day-to-day experience. Consequently, it is not something that would intuitive without the study of physics.

Thank you

I shall go and become enlightened by my cars headlights(pun intended)

[MBWhite]

Originally Posted by carstenb

Thank you

I shall go and become enlightened by my cars headlights(pun intended)

This is reminding me of this bumper sticker:

[MBWhite]

OK not a joke but a picture, I still thought it was pretty funny:

[StuM]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

In this specific case you may be wandering behind a wagon. Google "relativity for dummys" and you will find a number of informative links. It would be too hard to explain it here. For your specific question go to Waves, motion and frequency: the Doppler effect — Einstein Online

Or more specifically:
I am driving my car at the speed of light and I turn on my headlights. What do I see?

or

If you're in a car traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen?

[ontherocks83]

Man my sense of humor must be really out of whack because these speed of light jokes are horrible

Now a clean joke you can tell your kids, just so you can't say that I am not contributing.


How do you make a tissue dance?

Give it a little boogie.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by ontherocks83

Man my sense of humor must be really out of whack because these speed of light jokes are horrible

Light travels faster than sound. That's why so many people appear to be bright until you hear them speak.

A bar walks into a man. Oops, wrong frame of reference

A photon checks into a hotel. The clerk asks if he needs help with luggage. Photon replies, "i dont have any, I'm traveling light."

Some relevant tag lines;
"The faster you go, the shorter you are" - Einstein
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
And God said: E = +mv^2 - Ze^2/r ...and there *WAS* light!
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.


And specially for V360 and SC:

The speed of time is one second per second.

How many weeks are there in a light year?


I was pulled over for speeding today. The officer said, "Don't you know the speed limit is 55 miles an hour?" I replied, "Yes, but I wasn't going to be out that long.

[hblask]

A Higgs boson goes into a church, the priest says, "Hey get out of here!". The Higgs boson says, "I should stay, you can't have mass without me."

Q: Why can't you trust an atom?
A: They make up everything.

[Seaworthy Lass]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a gin and tonic?"

The bartender smiles and replies, "For you, no charge."

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a gin and tonic?"

The bartender smiles and replies, "For you, no charge."

Good job it wasn't an electron or the bartender would have had to pay him - electrons are negatively charged.