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Old 31-10-2020, 10:33   #13501
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Re: The New Joke Thread

This reminds me of the "Over The Line" tournament from about 10 yrs ago. It's a game similar to baseball or cricket, played on the beach but the real focus of the June festivities is young women in bikinis and a lot of beer drinking. There's also the "Miss Emerson" contest in which they select the most "talented" young lady who is then crowned with "Em er some BIG TITS!" Some old sexist surfers dreamed this up long before me, but hey, I'm not complaining!

I was admiring all of the "talent" wandering around, drinking a beer and pulling a large wagon full of ice cold beer when I spotted two 20 something ladies with amazing talents walking toward me. At the same time, some young kid (19? 20?) yelled out, "Show me your tits!" They told him to "Eff off, twerp!" and they wandered over towards me.

Suddenly I noticed 2 guys, in their mid 60's probably, and they had a 12 pack of beer and a roll of stickers that said, "Guaranteed Prime" or something to that effect. One of them greeted the girls and explained they had these very exclusive stickers that could be applied to their nipples and they'd also get a free beer.

To my total amazement, the 2 girls agreed, like they were daring each other to do it. The old guys pulled down the girls' bikini tops right in the middle of the sandy road and started massaging and licking the 2 girls' very impressive mammaries for what seemed like forever. Each guy was switching back and forth and giving both breasts equal massaging and all 4 nipples were quite hard and completely clean then they applied the stickers and handed each girl a beer. Both girls were giggling as they walked away.

Then I realized there were more girls lined up waiting for their special stickers while the first pair got theirs! The young kid said to the old guys, "WTH?? How did you pull this off?" One of the old guys said, "We may be old, but we know how to talk to women. Yelling "show me your tits" isn't the right answer!"

https://www.google.com/search?q=miss...h=751&biw=1366
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Old 31-10-2020, 11:25   #13502
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Eleven years ago today my buddy James came running out yelling, "It's a boy!!" with tears streaming down his face!






We never went back to Thailand.
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Old 31-10-2020, 13:41   #13503
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by ChrisJHC View Post
Wooden bullets are still being investigated today as “less lethal” ammunition.
Tend to injure rather than kill and much less likely to impact bystanders.

Oh and they’re organic so surely no-one will complain.
Except the one who is shot!
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Old 01-11-2020, 03:09   #13504
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Re: The New Joke Thread

here's the shot all the flat earthers have been waiting for !


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cheers,
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Old 01-11-2020, 03:12   #13505
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Re: The New Joke Thread




Q: Should TV Dinners be renamed "Satellite Dinners"?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly.

Q: How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
A: You use a pumpkin patch.

Q; What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist?
A: His house was repossessed.
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Old 01-11-2020, 04:58   #13506
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 01-11-2020, 05:11   #13507
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Re: The New Joke Thread

One that our local pedant's shood be aware of...
Muphry's Law....

In 1992, he invented the adage Muphry’s Law, which is now used around the world: "If you write anything criticising editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written."

I chanced upon that here... https://www.theage.com.au/national/v...23-p567zr.html
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Old 01-11-2020, 06:30   #13508
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by El Pinguino View Post
One that our local pedant's shood be aware of...
Muphry's Law....
That should be "pedants", not "pedant's".

You're welcome.
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Old 01-11-2020, 09:42   #13509
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Also "should", "Murphy's" and "...critical of editing or proofreading...". But then it's not funny anymore.
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Old 01-11-2020, 10:55   #13510
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 01-11-2020, 13:30   #13511
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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From the way back machine...........


Funniest thing I have seen for ages.
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Old 01-11-2020, 14:52   #13512
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Also "should", "Murphy's" and "...critical of editing or proofreading...". But then it's not funny anymore.
Did I ever claim I read the entire post before responding?
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Old 01-11-2020, 15:12   #13513
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Yellowtulip View Post
Also "should", "Murphy's" and "...critical of editing or proofreading...". But then it's not funny anymore.
No.... it is Muphry's Law.... Murphy's Law is a different law....
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Old 01-11-2020, 16:58   #13514
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by AnglaisInHull View Post
That should be "pedants", not "pedant's".

You're welcome.

Wooooosh! The sound of a joke flying over someone's head
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Old 01-11-2020, 16:59   #13515
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Yellowtulip View Post
Also "should", "Murphy's" and "...critical of editing or proofreading...". But then it's not funny anymore.



No, it really IS Muphry's Law (the name is a play on the original Murphy's Law")
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