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Old 15-10-2020, 08:42   #13246
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by skipmac View Post
...When you compare a written word to its pronunciation in English (American and British versions) it often makes no sense at all. French is no better and Gaelic is a nightmare. Spanish on the other hand, has few and simple rules and if you see a word written you can pronounce it correctly....
FWIW an interesting 16min The History Guy video on the English "great vowel shift":
https://youtu.be/VOOAb7erAmE

From the comments section:
"Other languages will occasionally borrow words from each other. English lures other languages into dark alleyways, mugs them for vocabulary, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar."
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Old 15-10-2020, 10:53   #13247
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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This is my rifle, this is my gun....


Reminds me of a US GI in Vietnam longing to go home. He woke up with is Gun in one hand and his discharge in the other....
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Old 15-10-2020, 10:55   #13248
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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This is my rifle, this is my gun....
This is for fighting,

This is for sending large quantities of HE down range.
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Old 15-10-2020, 11:58   #13249
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Let's try an experiment. Those of you who can't see the image, try opening the URL above from a new tab and see if you can see the jokes at that URL directly.

I can see this one.
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Old 15-10-2020, 13:23   #13250
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Maybe we could start a "debug the joke thread" thread? Post a few links and figure out who can see them and from where.

I'd participate - I have a variety of OSs and browsers, and a VPN so can change my apparent country of residence. And wrapped the boat for the winter yesterday so have time on my hands.

----

And, not quite a joke, but the best I can do on short notice: in one Sherlock Holmes story, he deduces that the mysterious visitor was a sailor because the empty glasses on the table had traces of rum in them. Noting that brandy and whisky were also available, he comments that no landsman would drink rum if he had those other options.

Apparently I'm a sailor.
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Old 15-10-2020, 13:49   #13251
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by skipmac View Post
Oh gee, don't even get me started on spelling. When you compare a written word to its pronunciation in English (American and British versions) it often makes no sense at all. French is no better and Gaelic is a nightmare. Spanish on the other hand, has few and simple rules and if you see a word written you can pronounce it correctly.

I am occasionally tempted to write English words phonetically (rite for wright or right, thru for threw or through, etc) but it confuses people too much.
they drilled the correct spelling into us at highschool so much, that I (Kraut-nativespeaker) tend to be rather unforgiving if the nativespeakers don't at leasts seem to make an effort...
(I'm in a good position: if I misspell myself: forest-Kraut...)
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Old 15-10-2020, 14:06   #13252
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Nope, I'm not geographically challenged
But you sure were whining nice and loud about not seeing the images.

I'm going way out of my way to find different servers and find out if people can see them via CF or if they can see them directly.

I was hoping you'd be as willing to help as you were to whine. A simple yes or no to the 2 questions will take less than 1 second of your time.

TIA.
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Old 15-10-2020, 14:51   #13253
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Whenever an ant gets injured, instead of helping, the rest of the colony just leaves it to die.

Itís like the old saying goes ...

If an ant broke, donít fix it.
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Old 15-10-2020, 15:05   #13254
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Whenever an ant gets injured, instead of helping, the rest of the colony just leaves it to die.

It’s like the old saying goes ...

If an ant broke, don’t fix it.
Not entirely so...paramedic ants:
https://www.theguardian.com/science/...jured-comrades
“What we show, for first time in the animal kingdom, is a proper treatment focused on a wound,” said Erik Frank......One of the fascinating things about ant society is you can get very complex and sophisticated behaviour without any need of cognition or knowledge of what you are doing
Video: https://youtu.be/e-sqzXkgmro
====
What did the pink panther say when he stepped on an ant pile?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant, Dead ant.
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Old 15-10-2020, 15:06   #13255
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
Whenever an ant gets injured, instead of helping, the rest of the colony just leaves it to die.

Itís like the old saying goes ...

If an ant broke, donít fix it.

In the spirit of your joke and the spelling jokes/comments above, I thought I might combine the two.
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Old 15-10-2020, 15:16   #13256
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Re: The New Joke Thread

An Englishman went to Spain on a fishing trip. He hired a Spanish guide to help him find the best fishing spots.
Since the Englishman was learning Spanish, he asked the guide to speak to him in Spanish and to correct any mistakes of usage.
They were hiking on a mountain trail when a very large, purple and blue fly crossed their path.
The Englishmen pointed at the insect with his fishing rod, and said, "Mira el mosca!"
The guide, sensing a teaching opportunity, replied, "No, senor, 'la mosca'... es feminina."
The Englishman looked at him, then back at the fly, and then said,


"Good heavens ... you must have incredibly good eyesight."
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Old 15-10-2020, 15:25   #13257
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
But you sure were whining nice and loud about not seeing the images.

I'm going way out of my way to find different servers and find out if people can see them via CF or if they can see them directly.

I was hoping you'd be as willing to help as you were to whine. A simple yes or no to the 2 questions will take less than 1 second of your time.

TIA.

After your rudeness to my original request, I feel little desire to assist you further.
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Old 15-10-2020, 16:27   #13258
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Just saw this on FB. Hope it's a joke. If not I hope the poster is on the other side of the planet.
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Old 15-10-2020, 16:53   #13259
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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After your rudeness to my original request, I feel little desire to assist you further.
Pretty funny, Stu. Keep up the good work. You're a joy to have on the joke thread.
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Old 15-10-2020, 17:17   #13260
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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After your rudeness to my original request, I feel little desire to assist you further.
Now THAT was funny!

I must have missed the part where you assisted.
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