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Old 09-10-2020, 03:09   #13066
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I don't get it???

Swap the "n" and the "l" to see what else she loves.
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Old 09-10-2020, 03:40   #13067
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Re: The New Joke Thread

We once thought we'd have flying cars, by the year 2020, but no, here we are, teaching people how to wash their hands.

They said that a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket.
They lied.
Everyone else has clothes on.
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Old 09-10-2020, 04:18   #13068
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Alan....anal.....for those that like the backdoor entry...
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Old 09-10-2020, 17:25   #13069
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by StuM View Post
Swap the "n" and the "l" to see what else she loves.
Lol, the pitfalls (or joys) of being dyslexic
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Old 09-10-2020, 17:50   #13070
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Re: The New Joke Thread

149.6 million kilometers to go.......
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Old 09-10-2020, 18:12   #13071
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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...
Signed
Dick Van Dyke.
Not a joke but true story about a famous comedian:
One of the stories Leslie Hope told about changing his first name was that in school his name was often read by the teacher last name first "Hope, Leslie" where in turn kids would tease him, calling him "hopeless" or "hopelessly." The world knew him as Bob Hope.
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Old 09-10-2020, 20:59   #13072
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Re: The New Joke Thread



Woman fires six shots at her husband. Miraculously, no shots hit him.
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Old 10-10-2020, 00:20   #13073
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Re: The New Joke Thread

That is great. See, even flies have made their mind up.
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Campaign fly
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Old 10-10-2020, 00:24   #13074
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Re: The New Joke Thread

We are in the jokes thread, and I am a bit hesitant because it's political, but it's really funny and has some resemblance on certain realities, so, here we go:

https://ifunny.co/video/F79yOwGr4

Enjoy and switch the sound on as well :-)
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Old 10-10-2020, 01:08   #13075
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The Donald eventually dies and he goes straight to hell.


The devil greets him but is concerned and explains 'We have been expecting you but we have a problem, we are full to overflowing, no space. I will have to evict someone who was not quite as bad as you but to be fair I will let you choose who'.

Trump agrees and the devil takes him to a room, inside there is a deep pool of cold black water and Richard Nixon is diving in, climbing out, diving in over and over. Trump says' No, I am not a good swimmer and I have heel spurs, I could not do that'.

He takes him to the room next door, it is full of granite blocks and G W Bush is there with a sledge hammer, trying to break them. Trump explains 'I have a bad shoulder, I could not do that'.

They go to the third room, inside Bill Clinton is lying naked, staked spreadeagled on the floor, Monica Lewinsky kneels over him doing what Monica does best. Trump tells the devil 'Okay, I reckon I could handle that.'

So the devils says 'Right, Monica, you are free to go.
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Old 10-10-2020, 01:18   #13076
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
I don't get it???

Think of an anagram for Alan.
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Old 10-10-2020, 04:59   #13077
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 10-10-2020, 05:34   #13078
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 10-10-2020, 23:17   #13079
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Ewe boats
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Old 11-10-2020, 01:05   #13080
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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