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Old 14-09-2020, 23:52   #12586
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Your family could afford old newspapers? Luxury!! When I was your age, I had to swim to school, and it was up river in BOTH directions. Through a foot of snow, and that foot was just what was in the closet we called school. I had to get up an hour before I went to bed just to make it in time for the second class!

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Old 15-09-2020, 04:37   #12587
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Re: The New Joke Thread

My wife was so sick today...

...that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make me some breakfast.
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Old 15-09-2020, 04:38   #12588
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Re: The New Joke Thread

"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog, sure you understand it better, but both die in the process." - Einstein, probably.
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Old 15-09-2020, 04:38   #12589
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Re: The New Joke Thread

It's fine to be enthusiastic about sailing...

Just don't go overboard
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Old 15-09-2020, 04:39   #12590
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Re: The New Joke Thread

This is the first time I can't go on vacation around the world because of the pandemic.

Usually it's because I just can't afford it.
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Old 15-09-2020, 04:42   #12591
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Assie humor?

I went fishing at the weekend and there was this bloke splashing about in the middle of the lake shouting, "I can't swim! I can't swim!"

"It's alright, mate," I shouted, pointing at a nearby sign, "It says no swimming anyway."
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Old 15-09-2020, 07:33   #12592
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Re: The New Joke Thread

after 8 years of Latin.....I only remember 3 words....amo..amas...amat...I love...you love...he/she loves...there is more...but I don't remember those...taught to me by men wearing black robes, rope belts, white collars and wearing sandals.....ha ha.....my education was joke....

failure to pass a test resulted in a whipping by belt, cane or drumstick....

for the life of me, I cannot see the purpose of teaching Latin to anybody...

at school...I had a choice between taking Latin or doing botany....which was studying plants with Latin names...either way....screwed....

Latin is/was a joke

this serves to explain why I'm so weird today...I had to run away to sea to cleanse my soul.....but I feel like I'm amongst kindred spirits here on the joke thread...
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Old 15-09-2020, 18:03   #12593
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Latin was one subject I really liked and it gave me a foundation for Italian anf French. What I didn't like was the 10 vocab english words for every latin word.
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Old 15-09-2020, 18:24   #12594
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Latin was one subject I really liked and it gave me a foundation for Italian anf French. What I didn't like was the 10 vocab english words for every latin word.
"According to legend, Chinese characters were invented by Cangjie...the legend relates that on the day the characters were created, grain rained down from the sky and that night the people heard ghosts wailing and demons crying because the human beings could no longer be cheated."

In other words, if there weren't 10 English words for every Latin word we wouldn't have lawyer jokes.
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Old 15-09-2020, 18:25   #12595
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Re: The New Joke Thread

At least five letters





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Old 15-09-2020, 18:59   #12596
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The New Joke Thread

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At least five letters






Strangely easy to imagine.
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Old 16-09-2020, 02:03   #12597
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Old 16-09-2020, 05:17   #12598
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 5 characters.
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Old 16-09-2020, 08:13   #12599
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Old 16-09-2020, 08:14   #12600
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