The New Joke Thread

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

some bodily forms simply look better when they can shake, jiggle and bounce...this is a scientifically proven fact..for the sake of science, I have myself, made it a lifelong quest, to delve into this factoid....I do this voluntarily on my own time, to better serve mankind.....[emoji2]

We call that the Jello Syndrome

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

In my family, minor scrapes were doused with the Monkey Blood, but more serious ones were dabbed with tincture of Iodine... and that really got your attention.

Kinda surprising that us kids didn't rebel... even more surprising that we survived!

Jim

Jim

we all survived things that would make modern kids (and their parents) call the authorities immediately. Life is simply different today.

and you can take that for a man who grew up walking 5 miles each day to school in 3 feet of snow and ice with his feet wrapped only in old newspapers.

And that was in the summertime - we won't even talk about how hard life was in the winter

[ArmyDaveNY]

Originally Posted by carstenb

and you can take that for a man who grew up walking 5 miles each day to school in 3 feet of snow and ice with his feet wrapped only in old newspapers.

And that was in the summertime - we won't even talk about how hard life was in the winter

Your family could afford old newspapers? Luxury!! When I was your age, I had to swim to school, and it was up river in BOTH directions. Through a foot of snow, and that foot was just what was in the closet we called school. I had to get up an hour before I went to bed just to make it in time for the second class!

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by ArmyDaveNY

Your family could afford old newspapers? Luxury!! When I was your age, I had to swim to school, and it was up river in BOTH directions. Through a foot of snow, and that foot was just what was in the closet we called school. I had to get up an hour before I went to bed just to make it in time for the second class!

Ha! Our school was so small you had to go outside to change your mind.

We were so poor that when there was anything to eat except dry bread, we kids got to drag it across our bread and hope it gave off some taste - then dad ate it.

[MicHughV]

you guys make me weep.....you wanna know real hardship at school....I had to learn Latin!!!...not for one semester.....but for 8 years !!!!, dry bread...pooh...child's play....walk 8 miles to school in bare feet...uphill both ways...ha....can do it in my sleep.......try Latin!!!

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

you guys make me weep.....you wanna know real hardship at school....I had to learn Latin!!!...not for one semester.....but for 8 years !!!!, dry bread...pooh...child's play....walk 8 miles to school in bare feet...uphill both ways...ha....can do it in my sleep.......try Latin!!!

[Enfant Du Vent]

@MicHughV:

Pax Vobiscum

[Shooze]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

you guys make me weep.....you wanna know real hardship at school....I had to learn Latin!!!...not for one semester.....but for 8 years !!!!, dry bread...pooh...child's play....walk 8 miles to school in bare feet...uphill both ways...ha....can do it in my sleep.......try Latin!!!

Ha, you think you had it tough MicHughV ? I would have killed for just basic Latin

I had Latin with the most sadistic deputy head, who would drum his stubby fingers on the top of your head when you failed a declension or scanning. He would then issue a detention and survey the class for his next drumming victim, with everyone cowering in their seats. (How were those people ever allowed to teach !)

I also had him for Greek for 2 years - my poor scalp !


Anyway a real joke ... (sort of )


What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon ?


Tennish

[dfelsent]

I had to walk to and from school. Both ways uphill. But this was before legs were invented. We had to drag ourselves with our teeth. No lips yet. The scuff marks on our face were awful.
And the world was still black and white. Color hadn’t been invented yet.
And the weather? Snow would have been nice. Hail every day. Golf ball sized. I still have scars on my back fro the storms while I was dragging to school.
But the scars are gray because there was no color then.
I could go on.

[Uncle Bob]

A little something to pass the time.

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1600140870

[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1600141547

[AKA-None]

Wait you had teeth? When I went to school we only had pseudopods. We had to crawl onto land uphill both ways.

[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1600141738

[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1600142268

[goguygo]

Originally Posted by Uncle Bob

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1600141547

Necessity being the mother of invention, I did this 2 years ago.






Apparently I was also able to see into the future.


EDIT: I have no clue as to why it shows upside down, but all things considered, it seems appropriate.