Originally Posted by Jubilee39
When the missile boats first started their 90 day fun cruises back in the day. the story goes that powers that be thought it would be interesting to send some psychologists on covertly to monitor
the crew over long periods of isolation from society. It did not take long for the crew to discover this and they all proceeded to Psych the psychologists. They left just shaking their heads
I can just imagine the fun they had psyching them out!
On our last WestPac, we had a rider from another boat
who had skated most of his career and decided since his boat
was in shipyard, he needed to ride my boat to get his U/I watches completed. It kind of pissed me off, because I was a hot runner who was working on Chief of the Watch and Duty Chief as a 2nd class. This guy was a 1st class who had been passed over a couple of times due to not being qualified COW and DC. So he would stand 1 6 hr U/I watch per day, then watch movies, read books
, sleep in the rack for 12 - 14 hrs and it pissed me off. I was running the ET division, giving training, standing Electronic Technician of the Watch 6 out of every 18 hrs, and trying to get my U/I watches and he had bumped me off of the watch schedule.
Since he spent 12-14 hrs a day in his own rack and the rest of the ET division were hot racking (3 guys sharing two bunks) and standing real watches, it wasn't hard to talk my buddy Fischer into helping me with my prank.
The guy's last name was Jiran, which I translated to "Jump In the Rack Again Nuke." He was also overweight, but he was too lazy to work
out, so he ate only soup, thinking he was dieting.
Every couple of days while he was sleeping, I'd remove his belt from his poopy suit (coveralls) and remove the buckle, then trim off 1/4" from the belt and put it all back. Every once in awhile, Fischer would do it for me so it didn't always coincide with my schedule. This went on for about 4 weeks and by then, he'd lost
3 or 4 inches off of his waist, but the belt was now 5 or 6 inches shorter than original. He couldn't figure it out, based on his belt, he was getting fatter, but according to the scale, he'd lost
Eventually, he figured out his belt was getting shorter and a few days later, he caught me red handed pulling his belt out! He jumped out of his rack and he went to the Chief of the Boat to complain about it.
I followed him to the Chief's Quarters (Goat Locker) and watched as he told the COB that he caught me stealing his belt and that he suspected that I'd been shortening his belt for a few weeks. The COB looked at me and I admitted that I had been playing a prank on him for 4 or 5 weeks and shortening his belt.
"Why the hell would you do that?!?" "Well, he's an overweight slug slacker who is taking all of my U/I watches, doesn't stand any real watches, support my division, participate in cleanups or field days. All he does is take U/I watches, breathe my oxygen, eat the crew's food, watch movies and sleep 14 hr a day. This is a Naval warship, not the Love Boat!" He replied, "While that all may be factually correct, we agreed to let him on as a rider and get him qualified as COW." "I never agreed to that. He's been in for 12 yrs, I've been in for 5-1/2 yrs, yet we're both qualifying the same watch. As far as I'm concerned, he's a dink nonqual slacker and I'm a hot runner. I'm a crewmember and he's just a rider. I have virtually zero free time to get U/I watches, he's got scheduled U/I watches and then has 18 hrs off every day!"
He said, "This isn't the way to get things changed, you still destroyed another man's property." I asked Jiran, "Don't you have a spare belt in your seabag, as required?" "No." "Well, I'll give you mine to replace the one I shortened. It will still fit me, since I'm not fat." The COB was a wise man, so he had a solution for both of us. "Take his new belt, and we're done with the destruction of your property issue. We're also going to add Steve to the U/I watchbill and Jiran's U/I watches will be moved to available slots around crew members U/I watches, as it should have been from the beginning."
I never mentioned Fish's involvement in the prank, but before Jiran left, Fish
told him he wasn't impressed with him either and asked him if he gained a lot of weight from eating and sleeping all of the time? Then Jiran figured out it wasn't just one guy messing with him.