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Old 05-07-2020, 05:18   #11626
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What kind of music should you listen to when you're trolling with a squid off the back of the sailboat?

Something catchy!
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Old 05-07-2020, 16:31   #11627
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Portugal was my first experience with eating a fish " whole"...can't remember the name.."Pilchards" I seem to recall, but it could have been something else. A bigger cousin of the sardine. A tiny fish, maybe 9" long, gets dumped into the fryer, lock, stock and barrel, eyes, innards, fins, everything...and then chomp....down the hatch it goes.....an acquired taste....for sure....
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Old 05-07-2020, 17:20   #11628
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I love to order pizza with anchovy hearts.
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Old 05-07-2020, 17:27   #11629
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by MicHughV View Post
Portugal was my first experience with eating a fish " whole"...can't remember the name.."Pilchards" I seem to recall, but it could have been something else. A bigger cousin of the sardine. A tiny fish, maybe 9" long, gets dumped into the fryer, lock, stock and barrel, eyes, innards, fins, everything...and then chomp....down the hatch it goes.....an acquired taste....for sure....


Kind of like smelt
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Old 05-07-2020, 17:41   #11630
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Re: The New Joke Thread

well, you can fry practically anything and it will likely taste ok....sometimes even good....and on occasion...excellent.

My sister and her kids came to visit once, so I thought I would run out to our local grocery store and get some store bought pizza....having never cooked pizza before, I failed to realize that under the pizza crust was a cardboard circle...and this too went into the oven....yes, suffice it to say, dinner was not a success that night.
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Old 05-07-2020, 18:54   #11631
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Forgot to read the instructions, didn't we..???

Oh. Sorry. Forgot you were one of us 'mere males' who don't read instructions....
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Old 05-07-2020, 19:18   #11632
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I was specifcally referring to the idea of being able to do "nothing", and doing "nothing" all day....

So why would you want to 'fnish' doing "nothing"...????

YMMV


Iím on day 2 of 14 days of quarantine in Australia and can barely wait to finish doing nothing🤢
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Old 05-07-2020, 19:37   #11633
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Re: The New Joke Thread

You have my sympathies. At least here in God Zone Country I have been able to leave the house to shop, walk, etc.

Technically, if you're in quarantine that's not "doing nothing" in the sense that I was using it. "Doing nothing" in that sense is "doing whatever the hell I like, but not looking like I'm doing anything".

So sitting in front of the computer instead of working on the boat I consider to be "doing nothing"....nothing of importance....

You, OTOH are doing "something", as in "Doing something you'd rather not be doing", so it doesn't count.

You are "doing quarantine" which is NOT doing "nothing".

Bute, yeah, hope it ends soon for ya, so you can get back to doing "nothing, nothing"...
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Old 06-07-2020, 00:06   #11634
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
What kind of music should you listen to when you're trolling with a squid off the back of the sailboat?

Something catchy!

It will only be catchy if the lyrics have a strong hook...
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Old 06-07-2020, 00:11   #11635
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by MicHughV View Post
Portugal was my first experience with eating a fish " whole"...can't remember the name.."Pilchards" I seem to recall, but it could have been something else. A bigger cousin of the sardine. A tiny fish, maybe 9" long, gets dumped into the fryer, lock, stock and barrel, eyes, innards, fins, everything...and then chomp....down the hatch it goes.....an acquired taste....for sure....

AFAIR known in Portugal as 'sardinas asadas'. Beautiful for lunch with a glass (or more) of vino branco. The ones I have eaten had been gutted, thankfully.


As this is a joke thread, what do you call a sardine without an eye? FSH. It's the way you tell 'em...


Q: And a deer without an eye? A: No eye deer.
Q: And an eyeless deer standing without moving? A: Still no eye deer.
Q: And an eyeless deer not moving while mating? A: Still no f####ing eye deer...
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Old 06-07-2020, 00:30   #11636
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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You have my sympathies. At least here in God Zone Country I have been able to leave the house to shop, walk, etc.

Technically, if you're in quarantine that's not "doing nothing" in the sense that I was using it. "Doing nothing" in that sense is "doing whatever the hell I like, but not looking like I'm doing anything".

So sitting in front of the computer instead of working on the boat I consider to be "doing nothing"....nothing of importance....

You, OTOH are doing "something", as in "Doing something you'd rather not be doing", so it doesn't count.

You are "doing quarantine" which is NOT doing "nothing".

Bute, yeah, hope it ends soon for ya, so you can get back to doing "nothing, nothing"...


Thanks Buzzman. Itís very tiring NOT doing nothing for 24 hours a day but for the health of our country I can do this.
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Old 06-07-2020, 06:07   #11637
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Re: The New Joke Thread

"read instructions ?"...ha ha ah aha hahaha haahahahahaah!!!!

I'm a sailor, so by default I know "everything"......no need to read "instructions"...that is something " other" people do......
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Old 06-07-2020, 10:58   #11638
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Re: The New Joke Thread

yep, that's the one.....sardinas asadas....
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Old 06-07-2020, 11:24   #11639
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn't budge.

The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.

In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?"

With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony."
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Old 06-07-2020, 11:28   #11640
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate he decides to ask God for help.

He begins to pray, "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don t get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Joe again prays, "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".

Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck. Once again, he prays, "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by the voice of God Himself,

"Joe, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."
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