The New Joke Thread

[LakeSuperior]

A boy and a man are sitting on a couch.

The boy says to the man, "Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age either."

[LakeSuperior]

My pet spider got sick today...

I checked his symptoms on WebMD

[MicHughV]

Cop" Please get out of the car, you look inebriated"
Me" I'm too drunk, you get in !! "

[StuM]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

On purpose, right?

Not Muphry's Law! [q.v]
That's what they wrote on their website:

http://wanderersrest.com.au/
"Wanderers Rest on Kangaroo Island is a small, four star, seaside country guest house offering Great hospitality and freindly service."

(pardon my bold)

[GILow]

Originally Posted by StuM

Not Muphry's Law! [q.v]
That's what they wrote on their website:

http://wanderersrest.com.au/
"Wanderers Rest on Kangaroo Island is a small, four star, seaside country guest house offering Great hospitality and freindly service."

(pardon my bold)

Actually, the web site contains enough errors to make a copy-editor gibber.

[Buzzman]

Gibbering frantically......

[GILow]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Gibbering frantically......

Yes, they are a little prone to that.

[Buzzman]

Originally Posted by GILow

Yes, they are a little prone to that.

I resemble that remark..!!

[GILow]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

I resemble that remark..!!

I thought you might.

[Buzzman]

Thththththththththththth

[GILow]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Thththththththththththth

Dried-frog pills for you.

[LakeSuperior]

I entered my Chihuahua in an 'ugliest dog' contest and I won first place!

My dog came in third.

[LakeSuperior]

My brother and I often laugh at how competitive we are.

I laugh more...

[LakeSuperior]

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.

She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy ****! A talking chicken!'"

[MicHughV]

My wife asked what I was doing today, so I replied "nothing"....
So she immediately asks me to do some "honey do's"
So I had to explain that doing nothing, does not mean I'm free to other stuff...as I'm busy doing" nothing".....

Sometimes, doing a " nothing" project takes all day......