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Old 23-06-2020, 11:06   #11416
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 23-06-2020, 12:49   #11417
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Re: The New Joke Thread

2 guys are watching a dog licking his cojones.

Guy 1: "Man, I wish I could do that."

Guy 2: "Me too, but he'd probably bite me."
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Old 23-06-2020, 13:27   #11418
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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2 guys are watching a dog licking his cojones.

Guy 1: "Man, I wish I could do that."

Guy 2: "Me too, but he'd probably bite me."

My Ozzie friends tell me Guy 1 was an Ozzie and Guy 2 was a Kiwi...
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Old 23-06-2020, 13:39   #11419
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Re: The New Joke Thread

When I was in 4th grade or thereabouts, we had a elderly school marm, that was well endowed, I'm talking size 52 DDDDDDDDD, dem things were nearly dragging on the floor. Off course, being in 4th grade, this being an all boys boarding school, female anatomy was still a bit of a mystery to us.
Nonetheless, one fine morning, said school marm was leaning over a pupil to admonish him about some or other rowdy behaviour, when one of her mammaries escaped it's confines, flopped out and slapped this unsuspecting youngster on the head..nearly knocking him off his seat. We all howled in laughter, thinking this was done on purpose somehow. The school marm was pretty nonplussed about the escaping mammary, but it took both hands to feed this monstrous wobbling mound of flesh back into her bra.
We tittered (excuse the pun) about this event for weeks to come.
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Old 23-06-2020, 14:32   #11420
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Thanks for the Mammary!
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Old 23-06-2020, 16:52   #11421
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Re: The New Joke Thread

though many of us thought it was hilarious...there were some that were scarred for life !!
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Old 23-06-2020, 19:44   #11422
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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2 guys are watching a dog licking his cojones.

Guy 1: "Man, I wish I could do that."
Give him a biscuit and he'll probably let you.
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Old 23-06-2020, 20:05   #11423
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Old 23-06-2020, 21:35   #11424
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Old 23-06-2020, 21:36   #11425
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Old 23-06-2020, 21:45   #11426
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Old 23-06-2020, 21:45   #11427
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Old 23-06-2020, 21:54   #11428
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Reminds me of some posters on every controversial CF thread.


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Old 24-06-2020, 00:02   #11429
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Reminds me of the Ozzie expat in NY, his American kids calling after their dog in the park ‘seppo seppo’ His joke, and any other Ozzie nearby
ROTFLMAO

Typical Aussie sense of humour....take the piss/mickey whenever and wherever possible...
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Old 24-06-2020, 08:29   #11430
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Reminds me of some posters on every controversial CF thread.


The funny thing is, I do judge people by their ideas, even in their posts. It's simple. I ask them to explain their logic or post a link to the facts which led them to their opinion. I have met a few people who were open minded enough to actually look up the facts I presented to them, but most of them exploded in a hilarious meltdown. If they do produce factual evidence, then I consider them to be logical, rational with fact based opinions.

The funniest one was when my friend, his girl friend and I were out to breakfast in her favorite restaurant. She tossed off a casual comment, "The President is a racist." I asked her to show me the proof and encouraged her to use Google on her phone. She literally started screaming hysterically, then jumped up and screamed, "I have holes in my brain! My brain does not work as well as yours does! How dare you question me on my beliefs!"

I was shocked, her BF was mortified and the guy in the next booth over was laughing his ass off until his wife gave him a sharp elbow to the ribs! Ms Crazy demanded to leave immediately, I said I was in the middle of eating my breakfast, but my friend could take his mentally deficient GF out to the car to stew or cool off.

He asked me how could I call his GF mentally deficient. I told him, she just announced to the entire restaurant that she has holes in her brain and it doesn't work right. That leaves me with 3 choices.
1. She really does have holes in her brain, since she is on disability.
2. She's delusional, which could help explain her behavior.
3. She's a liar.

I chose mentally deficient, it seemed to be the least insulting of the 3.

The point is, in my experience, smart people don't have stupid ideas. Smart ideas come from smart people, stupid ideas come from stupid people. Since you can't give them an IQ test whenever you feel like it, I judge them on their ideas, opinions or beliefs.
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