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Old 22-06-2020, 22:42   #11401
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Heartless Katie.

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Old 22-06-2020, 22:55   #11402
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Did you hear about Bruce Lee's vegan brother?


Broco Lee.
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Old 22-06-2020, 22:55   #11403
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Old 22-06-2020, 22:56   #11404
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Old 22-06-2020, 22:57   #11405
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Old 22-06-2020, 23:00   #11406
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Old 22-06-2020, 23:06   #11407
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Old 22-06-2020, 23:09   #11408
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Old 22-06-2020, 23:11   #11409
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Old 23-06-2020, 03:12   #11410
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Buzzman View Post
If you think English is bad, try torkin Strine.

In Oz'traya, "G'day, air yez goan" is translated as; "Good day, how are you?"

And we inherited rhyming slang from our Cockney convict forebears, so "kerrys" are "packing pieces", a building industry term rhyming from 'Kerry Packer', prominent media owner and wry wit, father of James, whose 354ft $200m Benetti tinnie is currently parked off his $50m estancia in Cabo.

Tinnie in it's original form meaning 'small aluminium runabout' but ironically used in this case.

Oh. And ftr that is the 'correct' spelling of 'aluminum'.

But most Seppos don't know that. Seppo being an abbreviation of 'septic tank' itself being rhyming slang for 'Yank'.

Most Aussies have an ironic sense of humour. Pronounced 'ozzie', btw, not oss-see. If you don't mind....


Reminds me of the Ozzie expat in NY, his American kids calling after their dog in the park ‘seppo seppo’ His joke, and any other Ozzie nearby
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Old 23-06-2020, 08:39   #11411
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Old 23-06-2020, 08:52   #11412
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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...I have to admit that the " moderators" on these different boards do a marvelous job...trying to deal with a rabble rousing crowd often hell bent on breaking all the rules...they seem to guide the ship thru' all manners of storms and rough seas...it must be a paying job, because surely no-one would perform this job on their own time..though I have been taken to task before by a " moderator" it would be fair to say I was skirting the edge....
...this " joke" thread is a particularly difficult ship to steer, judging by the often barroom level jokes"....
..now approaching 800 pages, I think it's time to buy the " moderator" a beer....for displaying a cool head whilst all others run amok....come to think of it....an 800 page thread is probably worthy of a six-pack...

Thanks, but mods here are not paid in any manner that I’m aware of. Its that we enjoy the forum
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Old 23-06-2020, 09:15   #11413
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Old 23-06-2020, 09:47   #11414
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Thanks, but mods here are not paid in any manner that I’m aware of. Its that we enjoy the forum
I also agree that the mods here are doing a great job. If at any time any of you are in the San Diego/Los Angeles area, I'd be happy to travel a bit to buy you a beer and chat in person! I'm sure many others feel the same, as a former mod on another website I can attest to the great job they're doing!


Speaking of being a moderator and getting paid...

I was a mod on a very niche website, I'm not going to mention it for privacy reasons. The owner told me he collected $200K/yr in membership fees (10,000 members at $20/yr) plus another $200k/yr in advertising from some very big corporations.

The website was unique in that the rules were laid out very well and they left virtually nothing to the imagination, the rules covered exactly what was expected of the members and we were completely transparent about actions taken, which is very rare in online forums.

For example if little Johnnie went on a profanity laced tirade against a mod or another member, the mod or member's name was redacted, but the original post was left for everyone to see, along with commentary on exactly which rule he broke and the punishment he was given for that infraction. Every infraction was a learning opportunity, not only for the offender, but for everyone reading that thread. Everyone got a free written warning, then it was a week suspension, then 2 week suspension, a month suspension and if he hadn't learned by then, he was never going to learn, so a permanent ban was given.

On another website that I'm on, the mods are all personal friends of the owner. That's OK, if they're not all idiots.But they are. They picked petty tyrants who would start arguments with members, then suspend them if they responded in any way. Their biggest complaint is "this is a thankless job! All anyone does is bitch at us for suspending people!"

My response in their forum was, "As a former moderator on a website that clearly stated the rules and enforced the rules equally and transparently, I can tell you absolutely that people DO thank you for doing a good job. But if you attack members personally then suspend them for a month for responding to your attacks, I'm positive you will get nothing but complaints and no praise whatsoever."

I think I only got a 3 week suspension for that little bit of truth.

The best part of being a mod on the website I mentioned earlier is that we did get paid, sorta. The owner collected ad fees, but a lot of the time he got free merchandise in exchange for a well written evaluation. I once received a $900 Edge Juice performance chip that increased my engine's output from 250 hp/450 ft-lb tq to 450 hp/915 ft-lb tq, at the rear tire. For a 2002 truck to make over 1,000 ft-lb of tq at the crank was pretty amazing, especially since all you had to do was plug in 2 harnesses. The article was well written and included 0-60 mph times, 1/8 mi times, 1/4 mi times, G-Tech Pro acceleration readings, exhaust gas temps (EGTs) and changes in boost levels. I still have teh unit on my truck. Other mods did reviews on tonneau covers, side steps, HID lights, pretty much any truck accessory under the sun.

I've never been on any other website that had a "pay for review" program for mods like that.
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Old 23-06-2020, 09:54   #11415
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