Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average. Display Modes
Old 20-06-2020, 12:35   #11356
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 9,053
Re: The New Joke Thread

A classic

https://www.facebook.com/599727211/p...7215719412212/
__________________

Pelagic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 12:42   #11357
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
Blocked if not a facebook member.
__________________

__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 12:52   #11358
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
You know what they say on all of the other websites I'm on...

"Post pics, or it didn't happen!"
Don't own a smartphone, so this is the best I can do.
Attached Images
 
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 13:53   #11359
Senior Cruiser
 
StuM's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPB
Posts: 10,187
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
Blocked if not a facebook member.
Blocked even if you are a Faceboook member:

This Content Isn't Available Right Now
When this happens, it's usually because the owner only shared it with a small group of people, changed who can see it or it's been deleted.
StuM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 14:43   #11360
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 9,053
Re: The New Joke Thread

Ah...ok
Found it on YouTube

https://youtu.be/Deqx-Xb-yHY
Pelagic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 14:54   #11361
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2019
Boat: Beneteau 432, C&C Landfall 42, Roberts Offshore 38
Posts: 888
Re: The New Joke Thread

sister Theresa is sweeping the balcony at her room at the convent, when two pigeons land on the railing and take a poop....
infuriates, sister Theresa, takes her broom and shouts" f--k off pigeons" as she tries to sweep them off the railing.
above her, mother superior is also cleaning her balcony and hears the cussing below her...and hurries downstairs to admonish sister Theresa for her language.
"sister Theresa" she says huffily " such language !! all you really need to say is shoo-shoo and the pigeons will f--k off by themselves !!
MicHughV is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 16:36   #11362
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post
Don't own a smartphone, so this is the best I can do.
More and more these days, I'm left with the feeling I'm one of the 3 Stooges who just got slapped and I'm saying, "I shoulda known better!!"
socaldmax is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 17:45   #11363
Registered User
 
Eigenvector's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Mostly Texas
Boat: Lagoon 37 TPI
Posts: 391
Re: The New Joke Thread

https://www.facebook.com/11344712001...99802146/?vh=e
__________________
======================
Don't Tell My Mom I Work In the Oilfield,
She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse.
Eigenvector is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 18:01   #11364
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
Ah...ok
Found it on YouTube

https://youtu.be/Deqx-Xb-yHY
"Video unavailable
The uploader has not made this video available in your country."

Well, okay. You know what? I'm just going to say it was a really humorous video bit. And move on with life.
__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
\_(ツ)_/
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 18:08   #11365
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eigenvector View Post


Later, back at Antifa local headquarters, Bryan says, "No offense Heather, but we're going to put you on making sandwiches for the next event..."
socaldmax is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 18:17   #11366
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,943
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 20:45   #11367
Senior Cruiser
 
skipmac's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: 29 49.16 N 82 25.82 W
Boat: Pearson 422
Posts: 14,705
Re: The New Joke Thread

12345
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	Twinkle.jpg
Views:	241
Size:	60.0 KB
ID:	217787  
__________________
The water is always bluer on the other side of the ocean.
Sometimes it's necessary to state the obvious for the benefit of the oblivious.
Rust is the poor man's Loctite.
skipmac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 21:12   #11368
Senior Cruiser
 
StuM's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPB
Posts: 10,187
Re: The New Joke Thread

Meanwhile, near Japan
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	wave.jpg
Views:	191
Size:	22.8 KB
ID:	217788  
StuM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 23:14   #11369
Registered User
 
AKA-None's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Lake City MN
Boat: C&C 27 Mk III
Posts: 974
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
We could continue the scintillating conversation about cricket, if you like...





<crickets >
__________________
Special knowledge can be a terrible disadvantage if it leads you too far along a path that you cannot explain anymore.
Frank Herbert 'Dune'
AKA-None is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-06-2020, 23:28   #11370
Registered User
 
chrisr's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Australia
Boat: Tasman 40' catamaran
Posts: 482
Re: The New Joke Thread

thunk i've seen this before...but maybe not here, so please don't heckle me if it's a repeat ;

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy..

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0,MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 . Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but it just doesn't seem to work.

What can I do?

Signed,
........ * * *
.............. * *. *.

Reply...

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system **.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Beer 6.1.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to re install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

To summarize - Husband 1.0 is a great OS You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and reverting to Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!
IT SUPPORT DESK.
__________________

__________________
"home is where the anchor drops"...at Iluka / Clarence River until August... maintaining social distancing !
chrisr is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 17:15.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.