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Old 16-06-2020, 18:41   #11146
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Adelie View Post
I canít see them on my iphone both in the app and thru Safari nor on my Windows-7 laptop running Chrome.
Iíll try the Win-10 running Edge later.
Here it is
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Old 16-06-2020, 18:45   #11147
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by MicHughV View Post
yes, this is a joke thread, and if you knew cricket, you would see it's a perfect fit...

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!
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Old 16-06-2020, 18:58   #11148
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by StuM View Post
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!
Yea, after reading a few articles about cricket I came away with something like that but a few more things.

Cricket has wickets and some are sticky.

One guy tries to knock a little stick off a bigger stick while another guy tries to prevent that and at the same time he tries to knock the ball around but not necessarily. Then he might run or not. If he does run then another guy might come in and take his place or not.

After that it gets confusing.
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Old 16-06-2020, 19:00   #11149
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Re: The New Joke Thread

yep, that about sums it up. what other game has "two" batsmen on the field at any one time....players are dressed in white pants, white shirts and usually a white cap. Opposing teams generally all wear the same outfit, though some color has been added recently...

The umpires get to wear white jackets....their job is to stand out in the sun all day, and I mean all day. In football you get "commercial" breaks, in cricket, a match can break for " tea and crumpets"...

ah yes...the memories....
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Old 16-06-2020, 19:14   #11150
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 16-06-2020, 19:51   #11151
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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What browser are you using?



"WebP is a relatively new image format with good compression and image quality, but is not yet supported by all web browsers and image viewers"
BROWSER SUPPORT FOR WebP Image Format

Google Chrome


Chrome 4 to 8 does not support for WebP Image Format. Chrome 9 to 22 partially supports WebP Image Format. Partial support in older Chrome, Opera and Android refers to browsers not supporting lossless and alpha versions of WebP. Chrome 23 to 67 supports for WebP Image Format.


Mozilla Firefox


WebP Image Format is not supported by Mozilla Firefox browser version 2 to 61.


Internet Explorer


IE browser version 6 to 11 doesn't support WebP Image Format.


Safari


Safari browser version 3.1 to 11.1 doesn't support WebP Image Format.


Microsoft Edge


Microsoft Edge browser version 12 to 17 does not support this propertyweb-p-image-format.


Opera


Opera version 10.1 doesn't support WebP Image Format. Opera version 11.5 partially supports WebP Image Format. Partial support in older Chrome, Opera and Android refers to browsers not supporting lossless and alpha versions of WebP. Opera version 12.1 to 53 supports WebP Image Format.


Iím using the cf app on a phone so no idea what underlying rendering engine is being used
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Old 16-06-2020, 20:20   #11152
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Re: The New Joke Thread

In Australia it was mainly an act of Parliament that saw free milk provided to schools.
https://australianfoodtimeline.com.au/school-milk/
I remember it well from my own childhood. It was stopped when I was in first year high school.
The milk was mostly plain, but small qty of both strawberry flavoured and chocolate flavoured milk was available.
There's a reason I volunteered as a 'milk monitor'......
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Old 16-06-2020, 20:30   #11153
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by MicHughV View Post
....players are dressed in white pants, white shirts and usually a white cap.....
Nup. These days only multi-day Test matches utilise 'cricket whites' as the clothing is called.

One Day matches (OneDayers), or the One Day Internationals (ODIs - oh-dee-eyes) usually feature different colours, and these are often adopted as nationalk colours or derive from them. Australia's new cricket 'uniform' is green and gold.

Also, cricket whites in Oz include a green cap, known as the baggy green, when playing for the national side.

Watching a Test Match is like watching grass grow, where you do, actually, watch the grass....
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Old 16-06-2020, 20:33   #11154
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A well-known 'joke' on the mainland (aka the North Island) when meeting a Taswegian for the first time is to comment: "What? Only one head? Show us the scar!!" (from the removal operation deleting the second head)

Had never heard the goitre story before - all now makes sense!

My maternal gran was from Hobart and my sister-in-law is from Strahan. Not saying another word...
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Old 16-06-2020, 20:42   #11155
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I can't see Capt Blacks pics either - Firefox on PC running XP.

Just checked other browser. Can see them on Chrome, so maybe is an FF thing
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Old 16-06-2020, 20:51   #11156
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Watching a Test Match is like watching grass grow, where you do, actually, watch the grass....

I once had the joy, at a BBQ, of attempting to explain cricket to the then coach of the Australian Womenís Olympic Beach Volleyball team.

He was doing ok until I told him that a match could go for four days without a result. At this point I think he decided I was making the whole thing up.

From his perspective, I certainly donít blame him.
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Old 16-06-2020, 21:49   #11157
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzman View Post
I can't see Capt Blacks pics either - Firefox on PC running XP.

Just checked other browser. Can see them on Chrome, so maybe is an FF thing



How old is your FF. Current version 77.0.1 (64-bit) shows them fine.
According to the list I found earlier, anything after 61 should be OK.

62 was released September 5, 2018
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Old 16-06-2020, 22:10   #11158
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Ahhh, Cricket... the best thing about cricket as a spectator sport is that it makes baseball look exciting!

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Old 16-06-2020, 22:21   #11159
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by GILow View Post
I once had the joy, at a BBQ, of attempting to explain cricket to the then coach of the Australian Womenís Olympic Beach Volleyball team.

He was doing ok until I told him that a match could go for four days without a result. At this point I think he decided I was making the whole thing up.

From his perspective, I certainly donít blame him.
i thought a test match was 5 days ?

cheers,
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Old 16-06-2020, 23:02   #11160
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by chrisr View Post
i thought a test match was 5 days ?

cheers,

Only since 1979
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