The New Joke Thread

[chrisr]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

Crikeys, Chris, now ya got me wundern! I think you are a TBA, so you are qualified... explain away! I'm quite interested!

Jim the seppo

hahaha...don't know about the TBA, but i think el pinguino has the right of it. ozzies are basically lazy and any word / name with too many syllables will get shortened

cheers,

[aclmck]

Originally Posted by Captn_Black

Nominal Actual Actual - Metric
2" x 2" 1-1/2" x 1-1/2" 38 x 38 mm
2" x 4" 1-1/2" x 3-1/2" 38 x 89 mm
2" x 6" 1-1/2" x 5-1/2" 38 x 140 mm
2" x 8" 1-1/2" x 7-1/4" 38 x 184 mm

In UK we call them 2 by 4's also though, but I don't know if that's something we picked up from you guys or not. I work with both. Inches when accuracy isn't important, metric when it is, usually, at least that's how I do it. Although when doing actual joinery I don't often measure for the final stages, rather I mark the piece
by fitting it after getting it close to the right size by measuring. Depends on the job though.

In Australia just to be different we nominate the largest size first I.e. 4x2,8x3 etc. we are also different in that we use some of our timbers “thicknessed”so they are rough sawn on 3 sides and planed to a nominal thickness normally dependant on the sawmill but a 4” would be thicknessed to 3 7/8 inches this timber is nominally used in the structural component of the building.

We would always refer to this as thicknessed or sized and it was common for many years.

After metric was introduced in the 70’s the sizes remained similar but not the same because now the 4 inch is 100 mm and so on,so sizes varied considerably.

Today however sizes here do vary greatly our 1/2 inch finished goes from 10 to 13 mm, 3/4 from 18 to 22 so we have to be careful when choosing the supplies

But a standard 2x1 is normally reduced to 42x 20 or 19 it used to be 1 3/4x 3/4

So confusion even around tradesman reins on renovations of older homes and even repairs on the new homes.

[Captn_Black]

Originally Posted by aclmck

In Australia just to be different we nominate the largest size first I.e. 4x2,8x3 etc. we are also different in that we use some of our timbers “thicknessed”so they are rough sawn on 3 sides and planed to a nominal thickness normally dependant on the sawmill but a 4” would be thicknessed to 3 7/8 inches this timber is nominally used in the structural component of the building.

We would always refer to this as thicknessed or sized and it was common for many years.

After metric was introduced in the 70’s the sizes remained similar but not the same because now the 4 inch is 100 mm and so on,so sizes varied considerably.

Today however sizes here do vary greatly our 1/2 inch finished goes from 10 to 13 mm, 3/4 from 18 to 22 so we have to be careful when choosing the supplies

But a standard 2x1 is normally reduced to 42x 20 or 19 it used to be 1 3/4x 3/4

So confusion even around tradesman reins on renovations of older homes and even repairs on the new homes.

Yea, we call them 2 by 4's, but we use the size in millimeters in practice. So if someone says 2 by 4, I instantly think 38 x 89 mm.

[chrisr]

Originally Posted by Captn_Black

Yea, we call them 2 by 4's, but we use the size in millimeters in practice. So if someone says 2 by 4, I instantly think 38 x 89 mm.

quite funny here going in to the local bunnings (hardware store). timber is racked by size, quoted in metric. so i then need to mentally convert this back to imperial, so i understand what they are talking about...but then i'm an old fart (ie pre-metric model)

cheers,

[StuM]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

I think you have the SoCal disease, because I have yet to see a single post that you link to somewhere else, just small grayed out boxes.

What browser are you using?



"WebP is a relatively new image format with good compression and image quality, but is not yet supported by all web browsers and image viewers"
BROWSER SUPPORT FOR WebP Image Format

Google Chrome


Chrome 4 to 8 does not support for WebP Image Format. Chrome 9 to 22 partially supports WebP Image Format. Partial support in older Chrome, Opera and Android refers to browsers not supporting lossless and alpha versions of WebP. Chrome 23 to 67 supports for WebP Image Format.


Mozilla Firefox


WebP Image Format is not supported by Mozilla Firefox browser version 2 to 61.


Internet Explorer


IE browser version 6 to 11 doesn't support WebP Image Format.


Safari


Safari browser version 3.1 to 11.1 doesn't support WebP Image Format.


Microsoft Edge


Microsoft Edge browser version 12 to 17 does not support this propertyweb-p-image-format.


Opera


Opera version 10.1 doesn't support WebP Image Format. Opera version 11.5 partially supports WebP Image Format. Partial support in older Chrome, Opera and Android refers to browsers not supporting lossless and alpha versions of WebP. Opera version 12.1 to 53 supports WebP Image Format.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by south4320

In the seventies we used to get a daily bottle of milk at school due to the iodine content. Small glass bottle probably about 600ml. Different flavours.

They were 1/3 of a pint (200ml) and not flavoured back in the 50's and 60's in the UK.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Captn_Black

Yea, we call them 2 by 4's, but we use the size in millimeters in practice. So if someone says 2 by 4, I instantly think 38 x 89 mm.

Two by Four doesn't work as a "clue stick"


As in "someone needs to hit him with a four b' clue"

[motion30]

To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now

[LakeSuperior]

I'm wondering if it is safe now to post a joke on this thread? Well here goes...


A man was going bald, so he got rabbits tattooed onto his head.

From a distance they looked like hares.

[LakeSuperior]

Pavarotti knocks on the pearly gates. St. Peter opens them and says "Oh it's you Luciano - come on in!"

Pavarotti says "Hold on, I've got an envelope for you from the Pope."

St. Peter opens it up and reads, "HERE'S THAT TENOR I OWE YOU."

[LakeSuperior]

AMERICAN MOVIES TEACH US:

1. The Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practicing Kung F u.

2. More than 50% of the U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.

3. The purpose of the school system in the U.S. is to promote basketball/baseball.

4. Aliens have special interest in attacking the U.S.

5. The U.S. is a place where you can meet all sorts of mythical creatures like werewolves and vampires.


INDIAN MOVIES TEACH US:

1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.

2. While defusing a bomb, do not worry, whichever wire you cut, you always choose the right one.

3. A hero will show no pain, while getting beaten up; but will show pain when a lady cleans up his wound.

4. A detective can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty.

5. If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you meet will know the steps.

[MicHughV]

growing up...I never knew what a 2x4 was.....if my dad wanted to dole out some punishment for some or other childhood infraction...out came the cricket bat.....
ah yes, cricket.....no American understand this game called "cricket" and the various names given to different players on the field and the various tactics employed......considering I played cricket as a youngster, I still don't understand the game and 2/3'rds of the terminology....

off side...leg side...a six...a four...offside...lbw...leg before wicket...stumped...I can go on and on....

a cricket match can take 4 days to complete...y'all think a commercial infested football game lasting 3 hours is a tough chew.....try some cricket watching...taking a nap while watching a cricket game is perfectly accepted behaviour.....

yes, this is a joke thread, and if you knew cricket, you would see it's a perfect fit...

[dfelsent]

Originally Posted by Captn_Black

Hmm, I see all of my own posts. The culprit is probably the file type I guess. I don't use social media, so all these memes are from 9GAG, which uses .webp format. Some people can see them though. I wonder what the issue is. Do you use a Mac?

I’m on an iPhone and 9GAG is utterly unreadable.

Sorry

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by StuM

What browser are you using?



"WebP is a relatively new image format with good compression and image quality, but is not yet supported by all web browsers and image viewers"
BROWSER SUPPORT FOR WebP Image Format

Google Chrome


Chrome 4 to 8 does not support for WebP Image Format. Chrome 9 to 22 partially supports WebP Image Format. Partial support in older Chrome, Opera and Android refers to browsers not supporting lossless and alpha versions of WebP. Chrome 23 to 67 supports for WebP Image Format.


Mozilla Firefox


WebP Image Format is not supported by Mozilla Firefox browser version 2 to 61.


Internet Explorer


IE browser version 6 to 11 doesn't support WebP Image Format.


Safari


Safari browser version 3.1 to 11.1 doesn't support WebP Image Format.


Microsoft Edge


Microsoft Edge browser version 12 to 17 does not support this propertyweb-p-image-format.


Opera


Opera version 10.1 doesn't support WebP Image Format. Opera version 11.5 partially supports WebP Image Format. Partial support in older Chrome, Opera and Android refers to browsers not supporting lossless and alpha versions of WebP. Opera version 12.1 to 53 supports WebP Image Format.

Safari 13.5 on an IPad Pro

But I beleve Adelie said he had the same issue with Windows

[StuM]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

3. The purpose of the school system in the U.S. is to promote basketball/baseball.

I suspect there's a lot of truth in that one.