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14-06-2020, 10:00
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#11026
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cabo Verde
Boat: Bruce Roberts Spray, 36' Steel Junk-Rigged Schooner
Posts: 1,245
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Re: The New Joke Thread
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"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." Robert E. Howard
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14-06-2020, 11:48
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#11027
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2017
Boat: Lagoon 400S2
Posts: 3,755
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by smbdyiam2
They announced on T V this morning that they are going to resume oil drilling in gulf now. big oil spill april 20, 2010.
How come no ones laughing?
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Black Sea Matters!
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14-06-2020, 11:49
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#11028
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by MicHughV
my dad always warned me " if it's got tits or if it floats, it's gonna cost you money"...
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The saying I heard was, "If it floats, flies or f**ks, it's gonna cost you a lot more than you originally planned."
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14-06-2020, 11:52
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#11029
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cabo Verde
Boat: Bruce Roberts Spray, 36' Steel Junk-Rigged Schooner
Posts: 1,245
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Re: The New Joke Thread
While these statements are generally true, my girlfriend is co-owner of our ship. Make of that what you will. Perhaps being a sailor "Chad" counts for something after all
__________________
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." Robert E. Howard
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14-06-2020, 11:52
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#11030
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,619
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Re: The New Joke Thread
My dad always said, "Always, - no - never, ever... wait - no, always marry a girl with small hands. It makes your crank look a lot bigger!"
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14-06-2020, 11:57
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#11031
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cabo Verde
Boat: Bruce Roberts Spray, 36' Steel Junk-Rigged Schooner
Posts: 1,245
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax
My dad always said, "Always, - no - never, ever... wait - no, always marry a girl with small hands. It makes your crank look a lot bigger!"
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Must... resist... boastful...comment.... "MY GIRLFRIEND HAS FAIRLY LARGE HANDS AND THAT IS JUST FINE!"
Damn it.
__________________
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." Robert E. Howard
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14-06-2020, 13:04
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#11032
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cabo Verde
Boat: Bruce Roberts Spray, 36' Steel Junk-Rigged Schooner
Posts: 1,245
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Re: The New Joke Thread
When your insurance company won't do the legwork, but you still want payback for those dents -
__________________
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." Robert E. Howard
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14-06-2020, 14:05
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#11033
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 7,367
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by MicHughV
my first trip to England introduced me to word " Worcestershire" sauce...which I would pronounce "Wur-ses-ter-sire"....I would get bleak looks in my direction...and was informed it is pronounced as " wurster" sauce....how the English got " wurster" from " Worcestershire" is beyond my ability to explain...
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That would be Worster sauce, as in Yucky.
I pronounce the sauce just as I pronounce the place.
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14-06-2020, 14:36
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#11034
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cabo Verde
Boat: Bruce Roberts Spray, 36' Steel Junk-Rigged Schooner
Posts: 1,245
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Montanan
That would be Worster sauce, as in Yucky.
I pronounce the sauce just as I pronounce the place.
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I would say wu'ster. But this is the UK we're talking about, it has many dialects. The evolution of dialects is actually a good analogy for genetic evolution - the UK has more variation in dialects than the US for the same reason that Africa has more genetic variation than the rest of the world.
__________________
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." Robert E. Howard
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14-06-2020, 14:41
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#11035
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Lake City MN
Boat: C&C 27 Mk III
Posts: 2,647
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The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captn_Black
When your insurance company won't do the legwork, but you still want payback for those dents -
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So I guess it’s your turn in the barrel as none of your attached images show for me.
Socaldmax you are now off the hook
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Special knowledge can be a terrible disadvantage if it leads you too far along a path that you cannot explain anymore.
Frank Herbert 'Dune'
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14-06-2020, 14:47
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#11036
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: 29° 49.16’ N 82° 25.82’ W
Boat: Pearson 422
Posts: 16,306
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captn_Black
Well, any thread that stays even remotely on topic here after the first few pages is doing well imo
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Doesn't Robert's Rules of Internet Order allow thread drift after four pages or as soon as the original post is addressed in at least four valid replies?
__________________
The water is always bluer on the other side of the ocean.
Sometimes it's necessary to state the obvious for the benefit of the oblivious.
Rust is the poor man's Loctite.
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14-06-2020, 14:52
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#11037
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cabo Verde
Boat: Bruce Roberts Spray, 36' Steel Junk-Rigged Schooner
Posts: 1,245
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA-None
So I guess it’s your turn in the barrel as none of your attached images show for me.
Socaldmax you are now off the hook
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Very strange. You can't see any of my images?
__________________
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." Robert E. Howard
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14-06-2020, 14:53
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#11038
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cabo Verde
Boat: Bruce Roberts Spray, 36' Steel Junk-Rigged Schooner
Posts: 1,245
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by skipmac
Doesn't Robert's Rules of Internet Order allow thread drift after four pages or as soon as the original post is addressed in at least four valid replies?
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__________________
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." Robert E. Howard
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14-06-2020, 18:07
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#11039
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Sailing Lake Ontario
Boat: Mirage 35
Posts: 1,125
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by MicHughV
my dad always warned me " if it's got tits or if it floats, it's gonna cost you money"...
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Read a book on "How to get rich" by the guy who founded Maxim magazine. One of his recommendations was something like "if it flies, floats or fornicates, you'll save money by renting rather than buying."
[Repeated by a guy who bought a boat because he was tired of chartering.]
__________________
Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down here.
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14-06-2020, 18:08
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#11040
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Sailing Lake Ontario
Boat: Mirage 35
Posts: 1,125
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Of course socaldmax beat me to it.
__________________
Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down here.
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