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Old 14-06-2020, 10:00   #11026
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Re: The New Joke Thread

If Harry Potter was set in Russia - https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/phot..._460svvp9.webm
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Old 14-06-2020, 11:48   #11027
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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They announced on T V this morning that they are going to resume oil drilling in gulf now. big oil spill april 20, 2010.

How come no ones laughing?
Black Sea Matters!
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Old 14-06-2020, 11:49   #11028
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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my dad always warned me " if it's got tits or if it floats, it's gonna cost you money"...
The saying I heard was, "If it floats, flies or f**ks, it's gonna cost you a lot more than you originally planned."
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Old 14-06-2020, 11:52   #11029
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Re: The New Joke Thread

While these statements are generally true, my girlfriend is co-owner of our ship. Make of that what you will. Perhaps being a sailor "Chad" counts for something after all
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Old 14-06-2020, 11:52   #11030
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Re: The New Joke Thread

My dad always said, "Always, - no - never, ever... wait - no, always marry a girl with small hands. It makes your crank look a lot bigger!"
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Old 14-06-2020, 11:57   #11031
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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My dad always said, "Always, - no - never, ever... wait - no, always marry a girl with small hands. It makes your crank look a lot bigger!"
Must... resist... boastful...comment.... "MY GIRLFRIEND HAS FAIRLY LARGE HANDS AND THAT IS JUST FINE!"
Damn it.
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Old 14-06-2020, 13:04   #11032
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Re: The New Joke Thread

When your insurance company won't do the legwork, but you still want payback for those dents -
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Old 14-06-2020, 14:05   #11033
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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my first trip to England introduced me to word " Worcestershire" sauce...which I would pronounce "Wur-ses-ter-sire"....I would get bleak looks in my direction...and was informed it is pronounced as " wurster" sauce....how the English got " wurster" from " Worcestershire" is beyond my ability to explain...
That would be Worster sauce, as in Yucky.

I pronounce the sauce just as I pronounce the place.

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Old 14-06-2020, 14:36   #11034
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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That would be Worster sauce, as in Yucky.

I pronounce the sauce just as I pronounce the place.
I would say wu'ster. But this is the UK we're talking about, it has many dialects. The evolution of dialects is actually a good analogy for genetic evolution - the UK has more variation in dialects than the US for the same reason that Africa has more genetic variation than the rest of the world.

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Old 14-06-2020, 14:41   #11035
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The New Joke Thread

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When your insurance company won't do the legwork, but you still want payback for those dents -


So I guess its your turn in the barrel as none of your attached images show for me.
Socaldmax you are now off the hook
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Old 14-06-2020, 14:47   #11036
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Well, any thread that stays even remotely on topic here after the first few pages is doing well imo
Doesn't Robert's Rules of Internet Order allow thread drift after four pages or as soon as the original post is addressed in at least four valid replies?
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Old 14-06-2020, 14:52   #11037
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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So I guess its your turn in the barrel as none of your attached images show for me.
Socaldmax you are now off the hook
Very strange. You can't see any of my images?
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Old 14-06-2020, 14:53   #11038
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Doesn't Robert's Rules of Internet Order allow thread drift after four pages or as soon as the original post is addressed in at least four valid replies?
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Old 14-06-2020, 18:07   #11039
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by MicHughV View Post
my dad always warned me " if it's got tits or if it floats, it's gonna cost you money"...
Read a book on "How to get rich" by the guy who founded Maxim magazine. One of his recommendations was something like "if it flies, floats or fornicates, you'll save money by renting rather than buying."

[Repeated by a guy who bought a boat because he was tired of chartering.]
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Old 14-06-2020, 18:08   #11040
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Of course socaldmax beat me to it.
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