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Old 05-06-2020, 08:13   #10831
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I don’t understand all this hate towards the police...

...I mean they’re an amazing band.
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Old 05-06-2020, 08:43   #10832
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
I don’t understand all this hate towards the police...

...I mean they’re an amazing band.
And they were prophetic...

"Don't stand so close to me"
"Can't stand losing you"
"King of pain"
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Old 05-06-2020, 10:37   #10833
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
I don’t understand all this hate towards the police...



...I mean they’re an amazing band.


Well the police do have Sting
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Old 05-06-2020, 14:34   #10834
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Wow, I had no idea there was a real Alice's Restaurant, or that the song was based on real events. And Alice herself lives not all that far away in P'Town.

Thanks!!
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Old 06-06-2020, 00:24   #10835
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Re: The New Joke Thread

*In my best LakeSuperior voice*

A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, "Is this stool taken?"
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Old 06-06-2020, 01:24   #10836
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote Socaldmax
"Sorry for the thread drift, guys. I could do a whole new post of the vicious (but funny) things she said to me as I grew up."

No Wories Max..
..... You own this Thread!
Parents have an amazing affect on their kids and the tough love type, even more so.

But what I noticed is that parents change as they get older and thier child becomes an adult.
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Old 06-06-2020, 01:27   #10837
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Oh and I was sure you were thinking of Alice’s Restaurant as in Arlo gunthre
That to....
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Old 06-06-2020, 01:55   #10838
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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But what I noticed is that parents change as they get older and thier child becomes an adult.

Mine certainly did.

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain.


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Old 06-06-2020, 02:12   #10839
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Just sayin'...





They're not looters, they're "undocumented shoppers".
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Old 06-06-2020, 04:18   #10840
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Mine certainly did.

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain.

When I was much younger my Dad and I Knew every thing. Sadly when he passed away, He took most of that knowledge with him.
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Old 06-06-2020, 04:47   #10841
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by jeepbluetj View Post
"I swear, as God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly...."

(somebody's gonna get that....)
Flippin/Yellville Ark. 1989 or close had their annual turkey drop. Started around 1946-47 Just after war. stopped in 1980's started again 2020.

Dropping turkeys from planes triggers Arkansas festival flap
https://apnews.com/086b5772b90446e48f6344cb22f...
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Old 06-06-2020, 06:04   #10842
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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April Fools, reminds me of a good one a few decades ago:



A radio station in the town where I lived broadcast a public service announcement that TPC (The Phone Company) would be blowing the dust out of the lines, and that it was advised to put a plastic bag over your phone so the dust wouldn't get into the house.



[Note to younger readers: at the time telephones were connected by a wire to a jack in the wall.]



I worked for TPC at the time and heard from credible sources that they had calls for the next few days asking if it was okay to take the bag off the phone.


We had a similar experience. After an ice storm, the local radio station announced that the ice on the phone lines would be melting and everyone needed to put the handset in a bucket, so the water wouldn’t get all over the floor.

So many handsets went off hook, the phone company ran out of dial tone.
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Old 06-06-2020, 06:14   #10843
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Ran out of dual tone
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Old 06-06-2020, 07:13   #10844
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Ran out of dual tone

Classic BOFH excuse:


We ran out of dial tone and we're waiting for the phone company to deliver another bottle.
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Old 06-06-2020, 08:17   #10845
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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They're not looters, they're "undocumented shoppers".
Good one!

A guy I know has the following signature on his account. "My rifle isn't an assault rifle, it's an undocumented weapon."
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