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Old 04-06-2020, 18:30   #10816
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Just sayin'...




Ouch.
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Old 04-06-2020, 19:55   #10817
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 04-06-2020, 22:23   #10818
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
You got it!
When I bought the car, the previous owner looked so sad and forlorn that a movie of the time
"Alice doesn't live here anymore" came to mind and I called her Alice


Oh and I was sure you were thinking of Alice’s Restaurant as in Arlo gunthre
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Old 05-06-2020, 02:33   #10819
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 05-06-2020, 03:33   #10820
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Old 05-06-2020, 03:36   #10821
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Ouch.

You try running with one of these.


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Old 05-06-2020, 03:55   #10822
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Submariners are a different breed.

Yes, it takes a great deal of training to operate a nuclear reactor at angles up to 35*, fight fires, stop flooding at 400', provide first aid and keep the vessel running with duct tape and baling wire.

Sure, it takes a certain amount of moral flexibility to be willing to push a button and vaporize a small town or large village.

Of course it takes a certain mindset to seal yourself in a steel tube for 90 days with 120 other guys with the maturity of kindergartners without seeing the sun, getting fresh fruit, vegetables or mail.

But it takes a real man to keep eating his soup and sandwich for lunch while the Doc is yelling at the cook, "You CANNOT leave luncheon meat on the counter for a week then serve it to the crew!!"
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Old 05-06-2020, 04:58   #10823
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Powerful: Protesters Spell Out 'Love' With Burning Homes And Businesses



MINNEAPOLIS, MN—In a powerful display of their care for love and justice, protesters in Minneapolis burned the word "LOVE" into the city, arranging the inspiring message with homes and businesses set ablaze by their riots.

Heartfelt and moving.

"We just really wanted to show how much we care about love and social justice by burning this community into a powerful reminder of what it's all about," said local protester Jake Hernandez, who had flown in from Portland for the event. "Now, when police and fire helicopters fly over to try to restore order, they'll be inspired by our message of love and harmony."

Upon seeing the heart-wrenching message of unity, police dropped their batons, ripped off their badges, donned bandanas, picked up bricks, and joined the protesters in their rioting and looting. "I don't know how I didn't see the light before," said former police officer, now Antifa chapter leader Bridget Morrison as she lobbed a Molotov cocktail into a minority-owned business. "I'm woke to the cause of love and harmony."

What a powerful message! The protesters were also planning to burn the word "SOCIAL JUSTICE" into predominantly black parts of town but have sadly run out of buildings to burn.
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*Satire. If you haven't figured it out.
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Old 05-06-2020, 05:03   #10824
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Mental Note: When wifey is showing off her muscles, the mere mention of Batwings should be avoided.

THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE. KNOWING IS ONE THING, WISDOM IS THE USE OF SAID KNOWLEDGE.
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Old 05-06-2020, 05:19   #10825
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Re: The New Joke Thread

This is pretty obvious...
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Old 05-06-2020, 05:23   #10826
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Re: The New Joke Thread

And in the spirit of socaldmax (a picture joke)...
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Old 05-06-2020, 06:11   #10827
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 05-06-2020, 06:22   #10828
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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This is pretty obvious...
We're only into June.

I can't even imagine what's in store for the rest of the yr.

At the end of every yr, I find myself saying, "This year was rough! Next year is going to be better!" Little did I know last December God's sense of humor was going to take a sharp turn to the ironic...

2021 has got to be better, unless Yellowstone decides to erupt... which at this point, would probably be a relief.
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Old 05-06-2020, 06:52   #10829
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Re: The New Joke Thread

old T V question " Who was that masked man?"

New maternity ward question " Who was that masked man?"
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Old 05-06-2020, 07:23   #10830
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Oh and I was sure you were thinking of Alice’s Restaurant as in Arlo gunthre

After Alice's restaurants - The Boston Globe
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