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Old 04-06-2020, 01:19   #10801
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Probably should also confess, I, too, have owned an Alfa. A 2.0L DOHC 4-cyl, 5-spd, wedge-shaped GTV from 1985 that fried it's steering column swithblocks after I beefed up the headlight globes. There was no rectifier or fuse in between. So I lost the lights, and the controls to everything that was mounted on the steering column - lights, wipers, indicators.
A $20 relay and a $300 switchblock later......I came to respect "Italian wiring" and learned not to treat it so capriciously in future.

I now drive a 1985 Toyota Cressida auto sedan.

It has electric windows, power-steering, A/C, and is very comfortable to drive.

But boy, do I miss that Alfa.....
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Old 04-06-2020, 01:26   #10802
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Re: The New Joke Thread

In 1973, my stepdad got transferred to Sigonella, Sicily and he decided to get some sort of early 60s sports car to bring home. He promised the landlord $20 if he found an exotic car that he would buy. At that time the world was going through the Arab oil embargo so there were all kinds of cars hidden in barns and garages.

We looked at Ferraris, Alfas, Fiat Dinos, MB, BMWs, etc. He finally settled on a pristine 1964 230SL, which he and I drove around at about 120 mph on the Autostrada. When we came back to CA in '75, the national speed limit was 55 mph. He was disgusted, that car could do 55 in 2nd gear and he said he could run faster. He put it up for sale and the first buyer bought it for $10k. Not bad since he only paid $3,100 for it.

That launched his MB collection, which mostly consisted of mid 50's Cabriolet As and Bs that he restored from hulks to concourse competitors and one 300SL roadster, which was also pristine but he rarely took it to car shows. He ended up restoring quite a few Cabriolets, most of them for actors, they were a good investment.
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Old 04-06-2020, 01:41   #10803
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Buzzman View Post
Probably should also confess, I, too, have owned an Alfa. A 2.0L DOHC 4-cyl, 5-spd, wedge-shaped GTV from 1985 that fried it's steering column swithblocks after I beefed up the headlight globes. There was no rectifier or fuse in between. So I lost the lights, and the controls to everything that was mounted on the steering column - lights, wipers, indicators.
A $20 relay and a $300 switchblock later......I came to respect "Italian wiring" and learned not to treat it so capriciously in future.

I now drive a 1985 Toyota Cressida auto sedan.

It has electric windows, power-steering, A/C, and is very comfortable to drive.

But boy, do I miss that Alfa.....
I too have discovered the reliability of Toyota. I have a 1984 Toyota Corolla hatchback diesel, which the dealers swear they never made a diesel Corolla. My daily driver is a 1997 Camry, which still looks and drives like new. I put LED headlights in it, a 7" DVD head unit in the dash, new Pioneer speakers and it cranks the tunes much like a new car. So far, in 24 yrs of driving, it's cost me $24 in repairs. One failed fuel injector I diagnosed/replaced for $20 and $4 for a box of plastic clips to reattach the door handle to the rod.

There are still 40 yr old Toyota mini trucks rusted out and patched up, still rattling around in HI and all over the world. I'd love to have a diesel Land Cruiser, but they're like gold here in the US ,especially now with this ridiculous "overlanding" craze going on. Buncha Yuppie wannabe Aussies!
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Old 04-06-2020, 02:30   #10804
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Buncha Yuppie wannabe Aussies!
Now there's a concept to conjure with! Wanna be Aussies... I love it!

(Maybe because some might think I was one!)

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Old 04-06-2020, 05:49   #10805
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by Jim Cate View Post
Now there's a concept to conjure with! Wanna be Aussies... I love it!

(Maybe because some might think I was one!)

Jim
Makes sense Jim
Wanna be Wallabies are just Americans in training....
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Old 04-06-2020, 05:53   #10806
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Socaldmax, loved the story about your mum and dad.....
She sounds like an amazing lady and I know how cars can become part of the family.
I called my Humber... Alice.
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Old 04-06-2020, 12:01   #10807
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Socaldmax, loved the story about your mum and dad.....
She sounds like an amazing lady and I know how cars can become part of the family.
I called my Humber... Alice.
The big questions is does Alice live there anymore?
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Old 04-06-2020, 12:02   #10808
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Re: The New Joke Thread

And does she own a restaurant?
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Old 04-06-2020, 13:01   #10809
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by ArmyDaveNY View Post
The big questions is does Alice live there anymore?
You got it!
When I bought the car, the previous owner looked so sad and forlorn that a movie of the time
"Alice doesn't live here anymore" came to mind and I called her Alice
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Old 04-06-2020, 13:04   #10810
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Lol...you guys are sharp1
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Old 04-06-2020, 13:19   #10811
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Socaldmax, loved the story about your mum and dad.....
She sounds like an amazing lady and I know how cars can become part of the family.
I called my Humber... Alice.
Thanks! She died about 2 yrs ago, but she was a force of nature and I'm still asking myself what would she do when I make a decision. She was verbally abusive, but was probably the best mother I could imagine.

She told me that she found me in a dumpster. When she was disappointed in my 98% on a test, she'd say, "Learn from my mistakes, if you hear a baby crying in a dumpster, keep on walking. Don't open it. Fifteen yrs ago I opened the dumpster, found you and my life has been ruined ever since." That probably explains my sense of humor. She showed no empathy or feelings, so I grew up lacking emotion. If I got 100% on a test, she'd say, "Of course, you take after me." Then she'd ask if there was extra credit... LOL

I was about 9-10 yrs old before I found out that not all beef is tenderloin. Once a week, she'd grill 4 t-bone steaks and she'd cut the tenderloin side off and fed that to my sister and I. She and my stepdad ate the tougher strip steak side. That night I wanted more and she gave me a piece off of her plate. It was far tougher and had less flavor. When I asked her why I'd only had tenderloin all of these yrs, she said, "That's what we do for our children. We make sacrifices to give our children the best."

When I was about 5 or 6, I asked her why she never said she loved me. She replied, "Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words. If you can't tell by my actions how much I love you, you're even dumber than I thought!" About that time she made me promise to never put her in a nursing home.

About 45 yrs later, she came down with Alzheimer's and as promised, I moved her in with me and took care of her. It was her turn to eat the tenderloin and whatever else she liked. She gave me only passing marks for my sushi, but everything else she seemed to like or love.

Sorry for the thread drift, guys. I could do a whole new post of the vicious (but funny) things she said to me as I grew up.
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Old 04-06-2020, 13:23   #10812
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 04-06-2020, 14:08   #10813
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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And does she own a restaurant?
Actually Alice closed the restaurant and opened a gallery on Cape Cod. True story.
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Old 04-06-2020, 14:22   #10814
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Old 04-06-2020, 16:41   #10815
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Just sayin'...


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