The New Joke Thread

[Tayana42]

Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.

[Tayana42]

What’s the best way to carve scrimshaw? Whittle by whittle.

[Tayana42]

What do you call a canine magician? A labracadabrador.

[Tayana42]

What’s the derivative of Amazon? Amazon Prime

[Tayana42]

What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?Artificial Swedener.

[Tayana42]

I like being on my boat and observing the natural world. The rotation of the earth really makes my day.

[smbdyiam2]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

T L I don't think this was a good idea.

T rt. I know I'm not going to like this.

BL I sure hope husband doesn't come home now.

b RT. Well if some one sees me they won't know what I'm doing.

[carlosproa]

Originally Posted by DanCan

Nowhere it says “for over 20 years” )
“Once I was drunk and I f***** my sister in law”

Well if you really want to translate word by word, comadre is not sister in law is actually the god mother of one of his kids. Too complicated to be a joke

[DanCan]

Originally Posted by carlosproa

Well if you really want to translate word by word, comadre is not sister in law is actually the god mother of one of his kids. Too complicated to be a joke

Well.... then don’t post in Spanish )

[StuM]

Originally Posted by BlueH2Obound

Lots more blank posts . . . I'm beginning to think it's me!

That's OK, it's another one of those pointless text only images. The joke is:


If you are seriously thinking about drinking Lysol you are a fool.
Fabuloso comes in so many amazing flavors

[StuM]

Originally Posted by svmariane

- I always take my wife morning coffee in my pyjamas. But is she grateful? No, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.

As long as you don't tell her you have her breakfast in your pyjamas!

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by StuM

As long as you don't tell her you have her breakfast in your pyjamas!

Well, since she's on a rather strict diet I did rather carefully check the "forbidden items" list - no problem.



(She still seems surprised when I pull a tangerine from a pocket. )

[goguygo]

Joke1.jpg

[StuM]

Originally Posted by goguygo

Joke1.jpg

You need to be aware of the original "What's the difference between your mom and a mallard with a cold" to appreciate that one

[Buzzman]

Which was..???