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Old 19-05-2020, 17:34   #10426
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Here's a thought; instead of creating (or copying) a graphical image with some words over it, just type in the joke!

That would help those who can't view the images, and cut down on the bandwidth and screen real estate used by this thread.

Seriously, most jokes aren't any funnier simply because someone put the text in white letters over some background image. We've been telling jokes with just words for millennia. We can probably handle it.
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Old 19-05-2020, 18:12   #10427
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptTom View Post
Here's a thought; instead of creating (or copying) a graphical image with some words over it, just type in the joke!


That would help those who can't view the images, and cut down on the bandwidth and screen real estate used by this thread.

Seriously, most jokes aren't any funnier simply because someone put the text in white letters over some background image. We've been telling jokes with just words for millennia. We can probably handle it.
Hear, hear!

We'd even be prepared to accept people using large Comic Sans fonts, colours and centred text when posting them


(It also makes it easy to copy the joke to pass it on elsewhere)
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Old 19-05-2020, 18:28   #10428
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I tried camping once.


It was an in tents experience.
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Old 19-05-2020, 18:42   #10429
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Recently I was asked to do a marathon, I said, “Piss off”.

They said “Arr, COME ON! It’s for spastics and blind kids.”

I thought, “F**k it, I could win this!”

cheers,
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Old 19-05-2020, 18:53   #10430
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptTom View Post
Here's a thought; instead of creating (or copying) a graphical image with some words over it, just type in the joke!

That would help those who can't view the images, and cut down on the bandwidth and screen real estate used by this thread.

Seriously, most jokes aren't any funnier simply because someone put the text in white letters over some background image. We've been telling jokes with just words for millennia. We can probably handle it.
I agree, but in most of the memes, the image is what makes it a joke.
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Old 19-05-2020, 18:59   #10431
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
I agree, but in most of the memes, the image is what makes it a joke.
Indeed a picture can be worth a thousand words, even if they are written in Comic Sans
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Old 19-05-2020, 19:06   #10432
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I asked my grandkids what a meme is. They sent me a picture of a horse with the word man under it. I texted back and said, “That’s a meme? Are uu horsing around with me? That didn’t respond, but I could feel their eyes rolling.
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Old 19-05-2020, 21:26   #10433
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Bzzzzzzttttt. WRONG.

In Aus, it's 1.5m apart, near enough to 5ft.

2m is 6ft 8"
Obviously the virus can’t jump as far when it’s upside down.
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Old 20-05-2020, 05:16   #10434
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
I agree, but in most of the memes, the image is what makes it a joke.
If it really is part of the joke, I agree. Post the pic.

But if you scroll back through this thread, I think you'll agree that many of the so-called "memes" are really just a verbal joke typed over a somewhat-related, or sometimes even unrelated, image. The image adds nothing but bandwidth and screen space.

Many of these jokes I've read or heard before, and they were funny on their own long before someone added a background image.
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Old 20-05-2020, 07:02   #10435
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptTom View Post
Here's a thought; instead of creating (or copying) a graphical image with some words over it, just type in the joke!

That would help those who can't view the images, and cut down on the bandwidth and screen real estate used by this thread.

Seriously, most jokes aren't any funnier simply because someone put the text in white letters over some background image. We've been telling jokes with just words for millennia. We can probably handle it.
Reminds me of my grandpa, who asked why we needed television when we had the radio. Radio had the news and weather reports, had comedy shows (situation comedies as well as stand-up routines) and oh yeah - music. You want pictures? Wait for the evening newspaper.

Of course, gramps usually used his crystal set, carefully setting the wire lead to JUST the right place, and telling everybody to HUSH.



The thread may now return to the 21st century...
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Old 20-05-2020, 08:20   #10436
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptTom View Post
If it really is part of the joke, I agree. Post the pic.

But if you scroll back through this thread, I think you'll agree that many of the so-called "memes" are really just a verbal joke typed over a somewhat-related, or sometimes even unrelated, image. The image adds nothing but bandwidth and screen space.

Many of these jokes I've read or heard before, and they were funny on their own long before someone added a background image.
Here are the 4 possible responses. Please choose the one you prefer:

1. Thank you for your feedback. Our staff strives to provide the very best in entertainment for your enjoyment every single day.

2. Does the King have any further requirements for his royal Highness's entertainment? Shall we execute the Court Jester for his insolence?

3. Today just isn't your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

4.
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Old 20-05-2020, 08:24   #10437
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Re: The New Joke Thread

To explain the pic above, there's this small plaque with a hand grenade mounted on it. The plaque says, "Complaint Department" then in smaller letters, it says, "Please Take a Number." Below that is the hand grenade, with a little tag that says, "1" on it attached to the pin.



Gee, I sure hope I told that one right!
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Old 20-05-2020, 09:37   #10438
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Mick and Paddy were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Mick pulled out a cigar. Finding he had No matches, he asked Paddy for a light.

'Ya, sure, I tink I have a lighter Paddy' and then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.

'My God, man!' exclaimed Mick, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. 'Where did yer get that monster?

'Well,' replied Paddy, 'I got it from my Genie.'

'You have a fecking Genie?' Mick asked.

'Ya, sure. It's right here in me tackle box,' says Paddy.

'Could I see him?'

Paddy opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie.

Addressing the Genie, Mick says, 'Hey dere! I'm a good pal of your master.

Will you grant me one wish?'

'Yes, I will,' says the Genie.

So Mick asks the Genie for a million bucks. The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Mick sitting there waiting for his million bucks.

Shortly, the Irish sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks flying directly overhead.

Over the roar of the one million ducks Mick yells at Paddy, 'What the hell? I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'

Paddy answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell you that the Genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked for a 10 inch Bic?
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Old 20-05-2020, 10:13   #10439
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
To explain the pic above, there's this small plaque with a hand grenade mounted on it. The plaque says, "Complaint Department" then in smaller letters, it says, "Please Take a Number." Below that is the hand grenade, with a little tag that says, "1" on it attached to the pin.



Gee, I sure hope I told that one right!
No offense but stick to pictures and don't give up the day job.
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Old 20-05-2020, 10:56   #10440
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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No offense but stick to pictures and don't give up the day job.
LOL!!
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