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Old 13-05-2020, 06:32   #10351
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Re: The New Joke Thread
a few
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Now retired from the Oilfield,
Just Playing a Banjo in a Whorehouse.
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Old 13-05-2020, 14:12   #10352
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Re: The New Joke Thread
A pirate was standing on his ship in a pile of gold that came part way up his legs. His booty was only shin deep.
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Old 13-05-2020, 14:13   #10353
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Why do women on luxury yachts look younger? Boat-Tox.
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Old 13-05-2020, 14:32   #10354
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Re: The New Joke Thread
A pirate turned 80 this morning. His first words were:
"Aye Matey..."
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Old 13-05-2020, 21:44   #10355
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Re: The New Joke Thread
What with this covid-19 thingy people have extra time on their hands.
Here's a little home project to help fill that time.
Bookshelf with modern design. More info here. https://www.boredpanda.com/shelf-tra...mpaign=organic
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Old 13-05-2020, 21:45   #10356
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Re: The New Joke Thread
BUT later on you can reassemble the pieces differently should the need arise.
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Old 14-05-2020, 04:39   #10357
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Re: The New Joke Thread
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BUT later on you can reassemble the pieces differently should the need arise.
I see the flowers on top. Are the lamp, books, and clock inside in case you got buried alive?
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Old 14-05-2020, 05:11   #10358
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Re: The New Joke Thread
She was only a whisky maker,

but he loved her still.
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Old 14-05-2020, 14:47   #10359
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Re: The New Joke Thread
She was only a telegrapher's daughter, but she didit, didit, didit.
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Old 14-05-2020, 15:27   #10360
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Re: The New Joke Thread
She was only a barman’s daughter,

but she new how to hold her liquor.
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Old 14-05-2020, 16:38   #10361
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Re: The New Joke Thread
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She was only a barman’s daughter,

but she new how to hold her liquor.

By the ears?
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Old 14-05-2020, 16:43   #10362
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Re: The New Joke Thread
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By the ears?


I have no idea what you mean. ;^)
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Old 15-05-2020, 04:49   #10363
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Opposites Attract!

My smart, beautiful, talented wife told me that...
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Old 15-05-2020, 04:50   #10364
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Re: The New Joke Thread
A friend of mine was worried sick after he had lost his guitar. He asked me to help him.

“It’s OK” I said, “don’t fret.”
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Old 15-05-2020, 04:50   #10365
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Re: The New Joke Thread
Just got back from my mate's funeral.

He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service.
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