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Old 30-04-2020, 16:23   #10036
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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that is pretty good. would laugh more if we hadn't tried to call centerlink 68 times yesterday. all unsuccessful...and nothing to do with CV19 or unemployment

trying again today

grrrrrrr...

cheers,
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Old 30-04-2020, 17:00   #10037
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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This would be quite funny if it weren't so fowl.
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Old 30-04-2020, 17:12   #10038
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Exquisite! And I don't even have half an idea what Centrelink might be.
I’ll be following The Chaser, from now on. ➥ https://chaser.com.au/
Even their “ halfbaked plan to stay solvent” makes sense.


Centerlink are the Australian Federal Government department charged with administering the social safety net for Australia citizens.

I was fortunate enough to have never needed them until I returned to my studies a few years back. I soon learned that they have a pathological level of bullying ingrained in their culture and treat all of their clients as “the enemy”.
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Old 30-04-2020, 17:33   #10039
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I sent that to my step mum(an Aussie) and she fell over laughing. Thanks!
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Old 30-04-2020, 19:42   #10040
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Re: The New Joke Thread

One morning a husband returns to the cabin after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out, since it is such a beautiful day. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says," Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing"?

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious"?)

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to write you up a ticket."

"For reading a book"? she replies.

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again.

"But officer, I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to write you up a ticket and you'll have to pay a fine."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he immediately departed.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece!!
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Old 30-04-2020, 20:48   #10041
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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You do realize that since this is a government agency, they aren't going to hire an operator to answer the second phone. They're just going to let it ring.

At least the gov't will have kept it's word by installing a 2nd phone.
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Old 30-04-2020, 20:53   #10042
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A64 - I fell down the rabbit hole today on that m3e1/at4 post. They are both recoiless rifles, NOT rocket launchers. I thought otherwise myself....

Matt
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Old 30-04-2020, 21:10   #10043
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Interesting, the linked article speaks of it as a missile system, and the system it’s replacing, the AT4 is a missile system, but firing missiles out of guns is nothing new, but it’s not usually very successful, the Shillelagh (sp) missile system for example.
Depends on your definition of "missile".

The AT4 s a single use rocket launcher.

The Carl Gustav is a breech loading "Multi-Role Anti-Armor Anti-Personnel Weapon System" capable of launchng projectiles, rockets and guided missiles.

Back in the day, we found it to be a very successful as an anti-vehicle and anti-bunker weapon capable of firing various types of miunition.
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Old 30-04-2020, 21:14   #10044
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 30-04-2020, 21:17   #10045
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Exquisite! And I don't even have half an idea what Centrelink might be.
I’ll be following The Chaser, from now on. ➥ https://chaser.com.au/
Even their “ halfbaked plan to stay solvent” makes sense.

It's a send up of the very similar "Grauniad" popup


https://www.theguardian.com/international
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Old 30-04-2020, 21:25   #10046
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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A64 - I fell down the rabbit hole today on that m3e1/at4 post. They are both recoiless rifles, NOT rocket launchers. I thought otherwise myself....

Matt
Not so. Although it is frequently called a "recoilless rifle" by sources that should know better, The launch tube is not rifled and the projectile is fin stabilised.
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Old 30-04-2020, 22:21   #10047
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Re: The New Joke Thread

And for Chaser fans, this was (IMO) their all time best.



They successfully breached the iron ring of security of the APEC leaders conference in Sydney 2007. Without really trying hard, they made a laughing stock of the Australia's biggest security event ever.

There were many calls to throw them in jail but no one could find any laws which they might have had broken.

In fact, when they stopped on their own accord and asked security if they should stop, they were waved on.
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Old 01-05-2020, 00:11   #10048
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Not so. Although it is frequently called a "recoilless rifle" by sources that should know better, The launch tube is not rifled and the projectile is fin stabilised.

Why did the picture clearly show a rifled tube? Were we looking at something different?
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Old 01-05-2020, 01:43   #10049
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 01-05-2020, 03:43   #10050
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Why did the picture clearly show a rifled tube? Were we looking at something different?



You were looking at a Carl Gustav recoilless rifle. It's the AT4 that is a smooth bore.
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