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Old 28-04-2020, 09:36   #9946
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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He??.
Look up the Comedy show “Barnyard” it features Otis the cow, Otis is obviously Male, A Bull, but in this show is a cow, to include an udder.

I’ve tired to figure out what message is trying to be sent by the writers and can’t.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnyard_(film)
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Old 28-04-2020, 09:49   #9947
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Just saw on T V that 40% of fl. unemployment requesters were denied due to not making enough money.

So apart time worker making minimum wage doesn.t make enough to get paid for being unemployed ? while a worker making $100,000 a year could get benefits for not working a couple weeks?

This is the big joke page right?
No Smithers. We're not eliminating your job, we're just eliminating your salary!

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Old 28-04-2020, 09:53   #9948
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I think this virus stuff is going to the dogs.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/do...cid=spartanntp
But another family dog and a cat didn't test positive.
The family's lizard wasn't tested.

Blatant discrimination, I say! Herpetophobia rears its ugly head.


On the other hand, apparently the US has an abundance of test kits.
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Old 28-04-2020, 10:21   #9949
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 28-04-2020, 10:25   #9950
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Re: The New Joke Thread

[QUOTE=svmariane;3127658]But another family dog and a cat didn't test positive.
The family's lizard wasn't tested.

Blatant discrimination, I say! Herpetophobia rears its ugly head.


On the other hand, apparently the US has an abundance of test kits.[/QUOTE

So the one tested positive and one dog and cat tested negative. Did that mean they all passed . none failed ? Or did the positive one actually fail? I thought +|s were good ? so he gets a + and fails?
Then the negatives - passed but didn't get anything?
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Old 28-04-2020, 10:51   #9951
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 28-04-2020, 11:04   #9952
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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They were used in big engines too. Mine had a pair of them. One to open and one to close.
Ah, I worked on lots of small engines as a kid, no big ones. Now its a handy cruising related skill !
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Old 28-04-2020, 14:34   #9953
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by smbdyiam2 View Post
Just saw on T V that 40% of fl. unemployment requesters were denied due to not making enough money.

So apart time worker making minimum wage doesn.t make enough to get paid for being unemployed ? while a worker making $100,000 a year could get benefits for not working a couple weeks?

This is the big joke page right?
To add to this unemployment problem, Just was reminded that school will not start till next fall. So now we have a jillion seniors graduating now till mid June . But not going to school now . That adds a lot to job force with no jobs. no summer school collage . low income so no unemployment pay either. And a lot of parents waiting on kids to leave home? I would give them my job but it might not last long now that so many are doing nothing.
So new resumes read did you graduate ===no they closed school .
Ok what did you work on since school. I have been busy doing nothing.
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Old 28-04-2020, 15:38   #9954
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Well I had a uncle tell me that the man that does nothing never makes a mistake. he got out of prison about 1938. I don't ever remember him working.
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Old 28-04-2020, 15:42   #9955
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 28-04-2020, 15:44   #9956
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Re: The New Joke Thread

neighbor wearing mask and gloves came over to use phone . he sat on his. I wiped it down with a wipe and handed to him. He told me I should not joke about this virus, He was a nurse 30 years ago. he doesn't work his wife does. I told him I don't have much else to do for the rest of my life. he called his wife and left quickly.
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Old 28-04-2020, 15:46   #9957
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 28-04-2020, 15:52   #9958
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I don't understand again, everyone complaining about staying home with nothing to do. It is what I've been doing for years and think it is a great job, I never run out of work. The pay isn't great. I did apply for 2 jobs . Town drunk and beach bum. Mayor said both was filed . Naturally his brother was doing both. double dipping.
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Old 28-04-2020, 16:13   #9959
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Ref the points,
Harley Davidson years ago built a three wheeled two stroke golf cart, it had a belt driven starter generator and two sets of points.
To go forward one set of points were used and the starter / generator spun the motor in one direction.
To go in reverse, the second set of points were used and the starter / generator spun the motor backwards.
Silly thing ran just as well in both directions.
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Old 28-04-2020, 16:16   #9960
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Re: The New Joke Thread

^^ good point.
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