The New Joke Thread

[socaldmax]

Wonder how many people have no idea what SteveG58 pictured??? Knowing what it is is probably a great determinant of risk from COVID-19.

I would like to direct your attention to the BOTTOM portion of the picture...

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[socaldmax]

[Adelie]

Perhaps the folks that want to discuss COVID should move to that sub-forum and those looking for a political discussion should move to another platform altogether.

Let the mayhem resume.

[chrisr]

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill
Her!

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into
the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn.

She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them

[LakeSuperior]

The Fibonacci Sequence joke is as bad...

...as the last two you heard, combined.

[LakeSuperior]

A cow crossing a street sees a glove laying on the ground.

All ashamed and blushing he goes: Oh my god. Who lost their bra?

[LakeSuperior]

A man in Saudi Arabia has been caught stealing hand sanitizer.

He won't need it now.

[LakeSuperior]

I went to the liquor store and the guy working there asked me, “Do you need help?”

I said, “Matter of fact I do, but I’ll going to get a quart of whiskey instead.”

[socaldmax]

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

A cow crossing a street sees a glove laying on the ground.

All ashamed and blushing he goes: Oh my god. Who lost their bra?

Umm... did you flunk the kindergarten class where they told you about Bossy the cow?

Jim

[LakeSuperior]

Yea! Some are pretty silly on reflection! In fact, it reminded me of the guy with five penises. They say his pants fit like a glove.

[dfelsent]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Oh my. I’m afraid to show my friends.

[landlockedgm]

Originally Posted by SteveG58

Are you making a point or two? [emoji3]

OK, that’s funny!