The 12 Commandments of Growing Old
#1 - Talk to yourself, because there are times you need expert advice.
#2 - Consider "In Style" to be the clothes that still fit.
#3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.
#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work
#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."
#6 - These days, "on time" is when you get there.
#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.
#8 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes,
then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
#9 - Lately, You've noticed people your age are so much older than you
#10 - You thought growing old would take longer.
#11 - Aging sure has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.
#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age, and hope you never will.
And one more:
So you know you are growing old when "one for the road" means taking a pee before you leave the house.