Cruisers Forum
 


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average. Display Modes
Old 20-04-2020, 10:08   #9661
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 489
Re: The New Joke Thread

some good news?
I called a neighbor to check on them. I had not seen them for a couple days. I asked if they had been sick or just self isolation.
he said " Oh no we are fine. We just don't like you"
Glad to hear they are okay.
__________________
have fun-stay safe=stay home
smbdyiam2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 11:23   #9662
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,248
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanathon View Post
Two Pollocks rent a boat, and go out fishing for the day. They are having no luck at all until close to sunset when they find a spot where the fish are biting as fast as they can rebait their lines.
As the sun sets they reluctantly head back to the marina with their catch. As they are driving home one Pole exclaims, "Did you think to mark the spot where those fish were biting?"
The other replies, " Yeah I put a big X on the side of the boat."
His buddy replies, "You idiot! How do you know we will get the same boat next time?!"
I think the other funny part is a Pollock is a type of fish, a Polack is from Poland.
socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 11:25   #9663
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 38,386
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed, and do nothing, I feel terrible"

People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go sailing in the bay, skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower, and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago"
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 11:28   #9664
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,248
Re: The New Joke Thread

socaldmax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 11:33   #9665
Registered User
 
svmariane's Avatar

Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the hard due to wife's medical condition.
Boat: Sold, alas, because life happens.
Posts: 1,832
Re: The New Joke Thread

Got an email from my sister-in-law over in Bavaria. She says the whole COVID-19 thingy created havoc, especially the stay at home orders. Her biggest complaint is that she can't make her daily visits to see her daughter and the grandchildren.

In other family news, my niece in Bavaria emails that life is really peaceful lately. Without daily interuptions from visitors she's managed to redo the garden and got her spring planting done early. Her husband is remarkedly calm and the children have settled into the home-schooling routine. Her biggest worry is that the government might lift the stay at home orders.

In other Bavarian news, planning for the world's biggest beer party, AKA Oktoberfest, continues apace. The Mayor of Munich responded to questions about social distancing during the festival by saying: Gott im Himmel, bayerisches Bier ist die größte Medizin, die jemals hergestellt wurde!

{God in heaven, Bavarian beer is the greatest medicine ever created!}


Ever been to Oktoberfest? There's a subtle difference between the center tables where the well-connected join friends and the general public tables scattered along the beer-tent perimeter. Subtle.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	Advertising.jpg
Views:	203
Size:	48.8 KB
ID:	213281   Click image for larger version

Name:	Reality.jpg
Views:	195
Size:	96.3 KB
ID:	213282  

__________________
"Being offended is not the same thing as being right." Dave Barry.
Laughter is the salve that keeps reality from scaring.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
svmariane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 12:35   #9666
Registered User

Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 3,669
Re: The New Joke Thread

Haven't seen any Dumb Dad Jokes in a while, here comes a Covid-19 themed one.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	no-one-in-antarctica-has-covid-19-dad-dont-its-because-theyre-ice-o-lated-dad-stop-please-corona.jpg
Views:	178
Size:	118.9 KB
ID:	213295  
Montanan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 13:43   #9667
Registered User

Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 3,669
Re: The New Joke Thread

Who? And well you know how that is going to play out.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	94728174_10213279751027886_846934148810539008_n.jpg
Views:	184
Size:	58.6 KB
ID:	213305  
Montanan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 15:53   #9668
Registered User
 
chrisr's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Australia
Boat: Tasman 40' catamaran
Posts: 706
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
My wife made me a millionaire.

What were you before you married her?

A billionaire.
not really a joke, but i worked out a while ago how to make a small fortune in my business (shipping)

...start with a big one

cheers,
chrisr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 16:45   #9669
Registered User

Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: New Jersey
Boat: Jeanneau Sun Odyssey 40.3
Posts: 82
Re: The New Joke Thread

Click image for larger version

Name:	IMG_1664.jpg
Views:	172
Size:	50.6 KB
ID:	213311
Tom_F is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 16:46   #9670
Registered User
 
Eigenvector's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Mostly Texas
Boat: Lagoon 37 TPI
Posts: 406
Re: The New Joke Thread

This is the best joke of the month. However, I can't upload it without changing the extension to doc. Change it back to arm (audio file).


Or DON'T if you think it's a virus file or whatever.......either way don't complain.
Attached Files
File Type: doc -3158326768353324066.doc (48.0 KB, 70 views)
__________________
==========================
Don't Tell My Mom I Work In the Oilfield,
She Thinks
I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse.
Eigenvector is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 17:22   #9671
Senior Cruiser
 
StuM's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPB
Posts: 10,533
Re: The New Joke Thread

Assuming that's AMR (Adaptive Multi-Rate Codec) not many people will be able to open that unless they are using a 3G phone. ( I am not aware of any audio file format that uses ARM exxtension)


"AMR (Adaptive Multi-Rate Codec File) is a compressed audio format used by 3G cell phones for voice recordings such as MMS (Multimedia Messaging Service) messages. AMR incorporates the Algebraic Code Excited Linear Prediction (ACELP) algorithm, which was created to optimize compression of human speech data. AMR was developed by Ericsson. Programs that open AMR files include Apple QuickTime Player, RealNetworks RealPlayer, Mobile AMR Converter and AMR Tool."

Added: Yep - examining the file, it is indeed AMR.
StuM is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 17:34   #9672
Registered User
 
Eigenvector's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Mostly Texas
Boat: Lagoon 37 TPI
Posts: 406
Re: The New Joke Thread

StuM, got it on my phone and emailed it to my email. Plays on windows.
__________________
==========================
Don't Tell My Mom I Work In the Oilfield,
She Thinks
I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse.
Eigenvector is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 17:36   #9673
Registered User
 
Eigenvector's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Mostly Texas
Boat: Lagoon 37 TPI
Posts: 406
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eigenvector View Post
StuM, got it on my phone and emailed it to my email. Plays on windows.

So you get a text with the referenced file from a number you don't know......that's part of the joke.
__________________
==========================
Don't Tell My Mom I Work In the Oilfield,
She Thinks
I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse.
Eigenvector is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 18:12   #9674
Registered User

Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 3,669
Re: The New Joke Thread

Covid-19 Home School - Curriculum Revision Notice.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	93792454_3710442395653213_5971469778122964992_n.jpg
Views:	161
Size:	42.5 KB
ID:	213315  
Montanan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-04-2020, 20:50   #9675
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: S. Oregon
Boat: '71 Cruise-A-Home Corsair 40' & Fiberform 28'
Posts: 54
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by svmariane View Post

{God in heaven, Bavarian beer is the greatest medicine ever created!}

Ever been to Oktoberfest? There's a subtle difference between the center tables where the well-connected join friends and the general public tables scattered along the beer-tent perimeter. Subtle.

I must go back. The first time didn't end well- I made it thru the first night, but the next day I was posted up on that merry-go-round near the tents and my son ended up having to carry me back to the hotel. I think I can do better next time.


- Some people don't like the term Gentrification. But that's ok... they don't live here anymore.
goguygo is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

« SSSSM - Part Deux | - »
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:05.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.