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Old 19-04-2020, 06:35   #9616
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Well, the net result of this is that the national average IQ just went up in all 3 countries....
Well, of course presuming said beer was being consumed in Aussie....
Just say'n....
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Originally Posted by chrisr View Post
about time for a non-CV19 joke i think



An Australian, a Kiwi and South African are in a bar one night having a beer. All of a sudden the South African drinks his beer, throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.

"In Seth Efrika our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice," he says.

The Kiwi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.

"Wull mate, in Niw Zulland we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out the same glass either," he says

The Australian, cool as a Koala, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the South African and Kiwi.

He turns to the astonished barman and says, "In Austraalia we have so many bloody South Africans and Kiwis that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."

cheers,
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Old 19-04-2020, 07:23   #9617
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Old 19-04-2020, 07:43   #9618
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Old 19-04-2020, 08:34   #9619
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Re: The New Joke Thread

More tortured jokes...


A detective is investigating a crime scene in Mexico. A cop fills him in on what happened.

“Apparently the killer is riddled with dementia and considers the train his lover, so he killed the train operator out of jealousy”

“Wow” says the detective, looking up at the train in question.

“That’s some locomotive”
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Old 19-04-2020, 08:35   #9620
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A wife is shouting at her husband about not helping her with chores:

"I'm cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, while you are sitting all day, waiting for me to bring you a beer. What kind of a husband are you?"

"A patient one."
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Old 19-04-2020, 08:36   #9621
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Re: The New Joke Thread

And for all the doctors on CF...


I hate that feeling after surgery when you're not sure if you're awake or asleep...

...or if you operated on the right patient.
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Old 19-04-2020, 08:37   #9622
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract COVID19. All dogs previously quarantined can now be released.

In short, WHO let the dogs out.
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Old 19-04-2020, 08:37   #9623
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
More tortured jokes...


A detective is investigating a crime scene in Mexico. A cop fills him in on what happened.

“Apparently the killer is riddled with dementia and considers the train his lover, so he killed the train operator out of jealousy”

“Wow” says the detective, looking up at the train in question.

“That’s some locomotive”
Wow, that was well engineered! I just hope the killer isn't railroaded.
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Old 19-04-2020, 10:37   #9624
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Please! Don't follow his train of thought, it will only encourage him and possibly derail this entire thread!
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Old 19-04-2020, 10:53   #9625
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Please! Don't follow his train of thought, it will only encourage him and possibly derail this entire thread!
I am glad you were able to couple these jokes together and express yourself. You have signaled that you are all aboard with this concept.
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Old 19-04-2020, 11:39   #9626
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Re: The New Joke Thread

posts 9623-9624-9625 seemed to be on right track
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Old 19-04-2020, 12:13   #9627
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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posts 9623-9624-9625 seemed to be on right track
Because they're new arrivals. Departures are on the left track.
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Old 19-04-2020, 15:00   #9628
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Old 19-04-2020, 15:01   #9629
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Old 19-04-2020, 15:08   #9630
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