Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 5 votes, 4.80 average. Display Modes
Old 15-04-2020, 03:09   #9436
Registered User
 
Karanga's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: NZ/Aus
Boat: Crowther 85 Catamaran
Posts: 146
Re: The New Joke Thread

Click image for larger version

Name:	IMG-20200415-WA0000.jpeg
Views:	308
Size:	101.1 KB
ID:	212914
__________________

Karanga is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 03:59   #9437
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 38,198
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

An Aussie is driving in New Zealand and notices someone shagging a sheep by the roadside. The Aussie stops and says "Hey mate, over in Oz we shear them".
The kiwi stops, looks up indignantly, and says "I'm not sharing* her with no-one cuz".

* If you talk to a Kiwi, you will note that they have 1 less vowel than everyone else. They can't say fish, its fush, they can't say six, its sux, they can't say chips, its chups, they are not from NZ, they are from UnZed.
__________________

__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 04:03   #9438
Registered User
 
chrisr's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Australia
Boat: Tasman 40' catamaran
Posts: 574
Re: The New Joke Thread

while on the subject, did you know that it was the kiwis that invented velcro ?

yep...the sheep were starting to recognise the sound of the zip...


i'll see myself out

cheers,
chrisr is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 04:43   #9439
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 38,198
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 04:43   #9440
Senior Cruiser
 
StuM's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Port Moresby,Papua New Guinea
Boat: FP Belize Maestro 43 and OPB
Posts: 10,297
Re: The New Joke Thread

There used to be 20 sheep to every person in Unzud.
Now it's only about six to one.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The good news is that they've got rid of all the ugly ones.
StuM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 04:57   #9441
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 30
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
I didn't think this forum was supposed to be political, but there are two very recent political posts attacking Mr. Trump.

But if we want to go down this rabbit hole; lets take a minute to Google:
Drs. Lieber & Fauci's ties to the WHO, Harvard University, NIH and Wuhan Institute of Technology, bear in mind Dr. Lieber has received money from both the DOD and the People's Republic of China.

I'm really disMayed when a moderator takes his agenda to the forum where I come for a few laughs each day.
ptards is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 05:12   #9442
Registered User

Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Canada
Boat: Don’t own a boat at this time yet.
Posts: 151
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by ptards View Post
I didn't think this forum was supposed to be political, but there are two very recent political posts attacking Mr. Trump.



But if we want to go down this rabbit hole; lets take a minute to Google:

Drs. Lieber & Fauci's ties to the WHO, Harvard University, NIH and Wuhan Institute of Technology, bear in mind Dr. Lieber has received money from both the DOD and the People's Republic of China.



I'm really disMayed when a moderator takes his agenda to the forum where I come for a few laughs each day.


Ok... in my opinion humour and jokes can touch anything, why is something off limits? With moderation, nothing should be so sacred that cannot be mocked a bit, including politics and religion. If this becomes a trend or too much one sided maybe. Do you feel this is the case?
Not too long ago was a repeated joke/photoshopped pic of Trudeau dressed in drag in a gay parade. I just scrolled down, laughed a bit and moved (and I was a bit uncomfortable because Iím gay not because Trudeau is so sacred to me).
We should have thicker skin I believe...
DanCan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 05:12   #9443
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 488
Re: The New Joke Thread

[QUOTE=ptards;3117188]I didn't think this forum was supposed to be political, but there are two very recent political posts attacking Mr. Trump.

But if we want to go down this rabbit hole; lets take a minute to Google:
Drs. Lieber & Fauci's ties to the WHO, Harvard University, NIH and Wuhan Institute of Technology, bear in mind Dr. Lieber has received money from both the DOD and the People's Republic of China.

I'm really disMayed when a moderator takes his agenda to the forum where I come for a few laughs each day.[/QUOTE

Oh I get money from Social Security , But I am still Anti Social I also get lots of tips but I don't go to horse races.
Does this help with the laughs?
__________________
have fun-stay safe=stay home
smbdyiam2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 05:15   #9444
Senior Cruiser
 
delmarrey's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines
Boat: Itís in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,206
Images: 122
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karanga View Post
He is quite the comedian, ah! He can put on a show big enough to fill stadiums.

You would have never got this many laughs out of Killary.
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the mist of a storm!
delmarrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 05:56   #9445
Registered User
 
jeanathon's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: WNC mountains U.S.
Boat: 1968 Hinterhoel Redwing
Posts: 555
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by ptards View Post
I didn't think this forum was supposed to be political, but there are two very recent political posts attacking Mr. Trump.

But if we want to go down this rabbit hole; lets take a minute to Google:
Drs. Lieber & Fauci's ties to the WHO, Harvard University, NIH and Wuhan Institute of Technology, bear in mind Dr. Lieber has received money from both the DOD and the People's Republic of China.

I'm really disMayed when a moderator takes his agenda to the forum where I come for a few laughs each day.
The test is whether or not it's funny. The Titanic one is mildly funny because it's partly true and passes the test.
Some of the previous deleted trump bashing posts were just bashing and not funny so did not pass the test.
I'm polish and like polish jokes as long as they are funny, but if they are just put downs you might want to be careful.
__________________
Let's ban together to ban sillycone....
jeanathon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 06:52   #9446
Senior Cruiser
 
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 38,198
Images: 241
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanathon View Post
The test is whether or not it's funny...
... I'm polish and like polish jokes as long as they are funny, but if they are just put downs you might want to be careful.
The following jokes may be offensive, not just to Poles, but to all mankind at large.
To those of you who are easily offended, or believe you may be lacking the prerequisite sense of humour to appreciate/endure such crude, tasteless and vulgar jokes, I recommend clicking here: ➥ https://www.polamjournal.com/Library...lish_joke.html
to learn about the fascinating and very disturbing history of the Polish joke.
Now, don't say I didn't warn you.

The new Polish navy has glass bottom boats, to see to the old Polish navy.

Did you hear about the Polish Admiral who wanted to be buried at sea, when he died?
Five sailors died digging his grave.

Q. How do you sink a polish battleship?
A. Put it in water.
__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 09:00   #9447
Registered User
 
jeanathon's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: WNC mountains U.S.
Boat: 1968 Hinterhoel Redwing
Posts: 555
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
The following jokes may be offensive, not just to Poles, but to all mankind at large.
To those of you who are easily offended, or believe you may be lacking the prerequisite sense of humour to appreciate/endure such crude, tasteless and vulgar jokes, I recommend clicking here: ➥ https://www.polamjournal.com/Library...lish_joke.html
to learn about the fascinating and very disturbing history of the Polish joke.
Now, don't say I didn't warn you.

The new Polish navy has glass bottom boats, to see to the old Polish navy.

Did you hear about the Polish Admiral who wanted to be buried at sea, when he died?
Five sailors died digging his grave.

Q. How do you sink a polish battleship?
A. Put it in water.
Thanks Gord!
When I lived in France I would tell Polish jokes, and they didn't work till I changed them from Polish to Belgium. Thought it curious that France didn't have the same stereotype.
Now for a joke.
What is black and blue and lays on the floor moaning?
The next guy who tells me a Polish joke!
__________________
Let's ban together to ban sillycone....
jeanathon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 09:07   #9448
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,072
Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanathon View Post
The test is whether or not it's funny. The Titanic one is mildly funny because it's partly true and passes the test.
Some of the previous deleted trump bashing posts were just bashing and not funny so did not pass the test.
I'm polish and like polish jokes as long as they are funny, but if they are just put downs you might want to be careful.
What's funny to one person may not be funny to another person. Since that is quite often based on very personal political views, it's been decided that no political jokes are allowed, to make things simpler.
socaldmax is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 09:31   #9449
Registered User
 
LakeSuperior's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,501
Images: 7
Re: The New Joke Thread

A man was walking with his three year old daughter. As they were walking, the man bumped into one of his high school friends.

"I've not seen you in ages! And this is my daughter Beth!"

"And what's Beth short for?"

"Well, she's only three."
LakeSuperior is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2020, 09:34   #9450
Registered User
 
LakeSuperior's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2008
Boat: Teak Yawl, 37'
Posts: 2,501
Images: 7
Re: The New Joke Thread

Well, I guess we have the time...


A gentleman on his way to a job interview in Brooklyn breaks the sole of his shoe. Not wanting to arrive at the interview with a broken shoe, he asks some by-standers where the closest cobbler is.

“You’ll want Olaf Von Gundersen.” says one gentleman. “He isn’t very close by but he’s quick and his prices are just right.”

Having no choice, the man with the broken shoe hurries off. He goes through numerous tiny alleyways, getting lost often and has to ask for directions but everyone he meets knows where Olaf Von Gundersen’s shop is and praises him highly.

Finally, the gentleman arrives at the shop. A tiny little Asian man is sitting outside, smoking a pipe.

“Excuse me,” says the man with the broken shoe, “where can I find Olaf Von Gundersen?”

“It is me.” says the little Asian man. “I am Olaf.”

The gentleman is taken aback but then recovers and shows the little Asian man his broken shoe. The Asian man fixes it within minutes and with perfect craftsmanship.

The gentleman pays him then hesitates as he’s about to leave.

“Excuse me, Mr Von Gundersen,” he says, “May I ask how you got your name, seeing as you are well... Asian. The name doesn’t quite fit, as you can understand.”

The little Asian man takes a seat and puffs on his pipe.

“When I came to Ellis Island 20 years ago,” he begins, “I was waiting in line to be admitted into your great country. In front of me was a tall, broad shouldered blonde man. When his turn came, he stepped up to the immigration officer.

The immigration officer said:

‘What’s your name?’

The man said, ‘Olaf Von Gundersen.’

The immigration officer stamped his papers and let him through.

‘Next!’

I stepped up.

The immigration officer said, ‘What’s your name?’

I said, ‘Sam Ting.’
__________________

LakeSuperior is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:13.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.