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Old 12-04-2020, 11:07   #9391
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Re: The New Joke Thread

It is amazing how quickly jokes get around the world! Unless all my mates are also on CF!
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Old 12-04-2020, 13:18   #9392
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Two Poets
– or, why English is such a difficult language to learn –
by Julie Cadwallader Staub
*
Hey—we've been passing like ships in the night.
Can't we hang out together
and make beautiful music like we used to?
You must have lost your marbles, she says.
You need to turn on a dime
and step up to the plate
if we're going to make hay while the sun shines.
Wait a minute—you're putting the cart before the horse.
Let me cut to the chase.
We've been treading water, and all I'm trying to do
is move the ball down the field.
I know, she says, but you have to have
your oar in the water too.
Look, he says, you're my north star.
I know I missed a few beats, but
don't throw the baby out with the bath water.
I've turned over a new leaf.
I'm watching my p's and q's.
I'm dotting my i's and crossing my t's.
Now we're cooking with gas, she smiles.
I'm so relieved. I was afraid you had hung me out to dry.
If we can be like two peas in a pod again,
everything else will be icing on the cake.
*
“Two Poets” by Julie Cadwallader Staub from Wing Over Wing. Paraclete Press, 2019.
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Old 12-04-2020, 13:38   #9393
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayana42 View Post
Two Poets
– or, why English is such a difficult language to learn –
by Julie Cadwallader Staub
*
Hey—we've been passing like ships in the night.
Can't we hang out together
and make beautiful music like we used to?
You must have lost your marbles, she says.
You need to turn on a dime
and step up to the plate
if we're going to make hay while the sun shines.
Wait a minute—you're putting the cart before the horse.
Let me cut to the chase.
We've been treading water, and all I'm trying to do
is move the ball down the field.
I know, she says, but you have to have
your oar in the water too.
Look, he says, you're my north star.
I know I missed a few beats, but
don't throw the baby out with the bath water.
I've turned over a new leaf.
I'm watching my p's and q's.
I'm dotting my i's and crossing my t's.
Now we're cooking with gas, she smiles.
I'm so relieved. I was afraid you had hung me out to dry.
If we can be like two peas in a pod again,
everything else will be icing on the cake.
*
“Two Poets” by Julie Cadwallader Staub from Wing Over Wing. Paraclete Press, 2019.
"He said--She said"
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Old 12-04-2020, 13:46   #9394
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Walking into a bookstore:

Customer: Do you have any books on turtles?

Shopkeeper: Hard back?

Customer: Yea, with little heads.
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Old 12-04-2020, 13:48   #9395
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Zooming this Easter:
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Old 12-04-2020, 15:34   #9396
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by StuM View Post
That makes the very dubious assumption that someone in Arkansas was smart enough to know what calculus is.
or that anybody else in the world knows who or what was or is "the little rock nine"...

cheers,
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Old 12-04-2020, 15:45   #9397
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A quick google gets you,

The Little Rock Nine were a group of nine black students who enrolled at formerly all-white Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas, in September 1957. Their attendance at the school was a test of Brown v. Board of Education, a landmark 1954 Supreme Court ruling that declared segregation in public schools unconstitutional.

Hence the integrate.
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Old 12-04-2020, 16:28   #9398
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeSuperior View Post
A quick google gets you,

The Little Rock Nine were a group of nine black students who enrolled at formerly all-white Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas, in September 1957. Their attendance at the school was a test of Brown v. Board of Education, a landmark 1954 Supreme Court ruling that declared segregation in public schools unconstitutional.

Hence the integrate.
And after integration, how many went on to achieving an understanding of calculus?

Just curious about the end story
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Old 12-04-2020, 18:24   #9399
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Re: The New Joke Thread

And there was I assuming it was just another math joke....

Who know it was a math protest..??
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Old 12-04-2020, 19:09   #9400
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 13-04-2020, 00:02   #9401
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I swear, this is the first time I’ve ever contracted a cabin fever without even getting a virus. And it’s now becoming contagious.
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Old 13-04-2020, 05:14   #9402
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by StuM View Post
That makes the very dubious assumption that someone in Arkansas was smart enough to know what calculus is.
There are a lot of kids in Arkansas that know A B C they just have problems with the rest if the numbers.
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Old 13-04-2020, 06:57   #9403
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Re: The New Joke Thread

If I got $1 every time a woman said I wasn't her type





I'd be her type.
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Old 13-04-2020, 07:36   #9404
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The truth between news, conspiracy theories, and fake news is ______ fill in the blanks.
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Old 13-04-2020, 08:25   #9405
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wotname View Post
And after integration, how many went on to achieving an understanding of calculus?

Just curious about the end story

They all graduated high school although some transferred to other schools. They all received college degrees including one for mathematics so must have done well at calculus. Some went on for masters and 2 got their doctorates.


I had calculus I and II in college but didn't graduate btw. Math was my strong suit but economics which was my major bored the schitt out of me.
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