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Old 31-03-2020, 05:37   #9091
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by weavis View Post
Given the political climate, let us leave all politics aside in the jokes...
yes that would be political correct. Ooops that doesn't sound right to use those 2 words in same sentence.
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Old 31-03-2020, 08:39   #9092
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Old 31-03-2020, 10:54   #9093
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Re: The New Joke Thread

What did one politician say to the other?
Not sure. Neither one of them listened. ☺
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Old 31-03-2020, 12:19   #9094
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The U2 spy plane took many pictures during its military career.

But it still hasnít found what itís looking for.
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Old 31-03-2020, 14:19   #9095
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Old 31-03-2020, 14:29   #9096
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Old 31-03-2020, 14:29   #9097
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Old 31-03-2020, 15:34   #9098
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Re: The New Joke Thread

The Friars of the Floral Business
by Dave Springer

Some friars in a little Scottish town were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her, too. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, the friars did so - thereby proving that . . .Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
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Old 31-03-2020, 15:39   #9099
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Quote:
Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
Good one, mate! I love it...

Jim
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Old 31-03-2020, 16:10   #9100
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Re: The New Joke Thread

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She thought for a time and then asked 'Is it on or off?'
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Old 31-03-2020, 16:23   #9101
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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I laughed out loud at this one, so thanks carlosproa!
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Old 31-03-2020, 16:57   #9102
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Re: The New Joke Thread

"I can't go because of corona-virus."
- whiny
- boring
- weak

"I have sworn an oath of solitude 'til the blight is purged from these lands."
- heroic
- valiant
- Many will assume you have a sword
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Old 31-03-2020, 18:33   #9103
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Re: The New Joke Thread

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Originally Posted by carlosproa View Post
Some would say these are pure-bread dogs...

But to me, they look too in-bread...
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Old 31-03-2020, 18:44   #9104
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Apologies for the profanity but this was too good not to share

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Old 31-03-2020, 19:17   #9105
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Re: The New Joke Thread

I ran out of toilet paper and am now using lettuce leaves. Today
was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow Romaineís to be seen.
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